#Book 3 - Page 49 (2/2)

I c.o.c.ked my head at him. “OK. Well, good. What brought that on?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I had started thinking about how I would have to change if I was going to be a dad. Smoking just didn’t seem…appropriate.”

“Fair enough,” I said, my heart still lurching about at the mention of his impending fatherhood. I tried to hide the feeling but it was there whether I liked it or not.

“How is Jennifer?” I asked, trying to sound breezy.

“She’s great, actually,” he said taking a slurp of his coffee and grimacing. He waved over the waitress, pointing at his cup for another refill. “She’s not pregnant.”

“Uh…” It was the only word I could form in response to that bombsh.e.l.l.

“Yeah, she’s not pregnant,” he said quickly and with a smile as the waitress refilled his cup. She caught the tail end of that and was giving him an unimpressed look. He noticed, grinned at her and winked.

She shook her head and went back behind the counter to read her h.e.l.lo! Canada magazine. Dex looked at me. “I’m telling you. Waitresses find me adorable.”

I raised my eyebrow. “Let’s go back to what you just said. Jennifer is not pregnant. Are you sure?”

“Well, I’m taking her word for it but she went to the doctor on over the weekend to get a blood test. It came back today as negative. She took two more pregnancy tests. They were all the same. I guess she got a false positive the other day.”

It was sick to admit it but there was a wonderfully giddy feeling rising up inside of me. It made me feel ashamed. I watched him carefully. He seemed fine, but maybe I just wanted him to be fine. I certainly did not expect him to feel like I did.

“Are you OK with it?” I asked.

“Yeah. I’m fine with it.”

“And is Jenn OK?”

He frowned. “I think so. Yeah, I think so. We’re good.”

“So…” what does it mean now, I thought. But I didn’t dare ask it.

“So…” he mused.

He took a sip of his coffee. I took a sip of my tea. There was nothing left to say about it. I sat back in my chair. We both watched each other for a few beats. The quiet sounds of the diner filled my ears. This weekend had taken our relations.h.i.+p further than I ever thought it would go. The strip club. Finding out Jenn was pregnant. A night of ecstasy (for me, anyway). The mental inst.i.tute. Jenn not being pregnant in the end. And yet I was just scratching the surface. We had come so far and, for me, it just wasn’t enough.

I pulled back my jacket sleeve, inspecting the bandages. They looked fine, though I knew we’d both have to go to the doctor as soon as we got back into the country.

I eyed the anchor silly band on my wrist, happy that the roses hadn’t cut it off and smiled. I looked up at him, hoping he hadn’t caught me staring at the band with a sappy and mushy expression on my face. He was resting his chin on his hand and staring out the window. He quickly glanced at me out of the corner of his eye and smiled warmly in return. He saw. And it was OK.

* * *

We were sitting inside the ferry as it motored its way back to Vancouver, the mainland and the way home. Dex was chewing Nicorette, more properly than normal, still deciding to honor his decision to quit smoking. We both stared out the salt–stained window at the sea. The morning was clear, the sun’s streams of light were twinkling brightly on the calm water. Not a hint of red in the sky.

THE END

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