Part 29 (1/2)

KAZ.

For the first time since we arrived, I take something out of our food store. The excitement with which I planned our meals seems like a lifetime ago. The beans we'd bought, Ruby sneaking ones with hot dogs into the basket when she thought I wasn't looking, remain untouched. Just like the beef jerky that Ruby insisted ”goes with everything” and has been eaten with nothing. Although when I look for it, I realize that's gone, like the person who bought it.

All I have to go on is a message she sent me late last night: Staying with a friend. R As if I no longer qualify. I'm a.s.suming that friend must be Stu, since that's the number from which the message was sent. I called back, but no one answered. Just as I'm free from Tom, Ruby's lost to Stu. The irony is painful.

Tipping my cornflakes into what I think is a camping bowl, I go through ten tiny cartons of UHT that Ruby stole from the coffee station at The Rock Shop before I get bored and eat the cereal mostly dry, sitting in the doorway of the tent, my toes in the cool gra.s.s. Above, the sky is lank and grey, suffocating us with stillness. The bunting that Owen put up is now flattened on the floor next to something that I pray is a dropped curry, but is more likely to be an unsavoury substance hurled from the pit of someone's stomach.

Someone unzips the tent opposite and Owen emerges.

There's no sign of Lee in the tent behind him.

”I'm going to get a coffee. Want anything?” he asks.

”A coffee as big as you can buy it. Milk no sugar.”

”No sign of Ruby?”

I shake my head. Last night I texted him that I'd had a message from her and he'd replied saying that Dongle and Parvati had seen her and she'd looked tired but fine.

I swallow a particularly sharp mouthful of cornflakes. ”What about Lee?”

”You can ask him yourself when he wakes up.” Owen points at the girls' tent and there's a pause in which I acknowledge that this is not the time to ask. ”Turned up looking for Ruby not long after you went to bed. I pa.s.sed on the message.”

This strikes me as odd. When Ruby can't find me, she has always turned to Lee.

What happened last night?

Owen's left when there's a curse as someone narrowly avoids stepping in the curry (vomit) and stumbles into the middle of our camp.

RUBY.

”Hi,” I say when Kaz looks up.

”Hi” is all I get in reply. She's eating cornflakes with a chip fork out of a pan meant for boiling on the stove.

”How are the cornflakes?” It's the only thing that springs to mind.

”Cornflakey. Would you like some?”

I wouldn't, but I suppose I've got to eat something and cereal seems like an easy place to start. Kaz sets about prepping a bowl/pan for me and I help by opening the milk and tipping it in. I seriously underestimated how much to bring. Or accurately estimated since we've not needed any milk until now.

”I'm sorry about last night,” I say, letting the cereal soften slightly in the hopes I'll find it easier to eat.

”Me too,” Kaz says. ”Lauren had a panic attack in the crowd and we had to take her to the first-aid tent.”

”Oh.” That is not what I thought had happened. ”Why didn't you say?”

”I did. Text. Call. You didn't answer, Ruby.”

”Sorry. Battery died.” And I was so caught up in the excitement of Wexler that I didn't even think to check. So sure that Kaz had simply wanted to be with Lauren more than me that I didn't think I needed to. ”Is Lauren OK?”

”I think so.” Kaz stabs her cornflakes a little viciously. ”Tom's with her now, so...” She shrugs.

”Babysitting duties are over.”

”Something like that.”

Kaz looks at me, making me uncomfortably aware that I'm still poking at my cereal instead of eating it. I draw lines across the bowl, mentally dividing it into four manageable chunks and start on the first.

”Ruby. What happened?”

Hands running over bodies. Teeth on skin. Sobs that sounded like pleasure. The smell of sweat and alcohol and something chemical that I can't quite place.

I feel dirty and used and stupid.

”You look really upset. What did he do?”

I glance up sharply. How does she know?

”If Stu hurt you...”

I'm confused. ”Stu hasn't done anything.”

”You don't have to lie to me, Ruby.”