Part 14 (2/2)

”It bothers him.”

”What do you mean?”

”I don't know, Ruby.” Owen sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. ”I suppose I just mean you don't get to choose who loves you any more than you get to choose who you love.”

I execute an undignified snort-laugh. ”Stu doesn't love me, O.”

Although that's not what Stu said that day he looked at me across the kitchen and told me he loved me and I laughed in his face.

”You're not someone who falls in love,” I'd said, still laughing even though Stu wasn't.

”No, Ruby, that's you.” He'd frowned at me a moment longer. ”But I don't care. I still love you.”

”No you don't.”

But that had been a step too far. We were still mid-fight when he left with a slammed door, shouting ”f.u.c.k you!”

Only he didn't. That night it was some other girl.

KAZ.

When Tom asked me to meet him at the first-aid tent, I thought something had happened to him. If I'd known it was Naj, I'm not so sure I'd have turned up at all, something I guess Tom knew. The three of them (Roly's still AWOL with the girl he met last night) were in the crowd by the main stage when a crowd-surfer knocked Naj's shoulder from its socket. He has to go to hospital something for which he needs company.

”And you want me to go with him?” I'm incredulous. ”Because I'm not going to he's your friend, not mine!”

I can't even believe he's asking this of me- ”That wasn't what I was going to say!” Tom has the audacity to sound annoyed before he sees my thunderous expression and alters his tone. ”Look... G.o.d, this is awkward...”

He glances back into the tent, where Lauren is hovering around Naj, who's turned pale with pain. The first-aid attendant gives us an impatient frown.

”Can Lauren stay here with you?” Tom's words rush out so fast I'm not sure I interpret them correctly.

”What?”

”You're the only person she's met here and-”

”Can't she go with you?”

”She's spent a hundred quid on her ticket and she wants to see some bands, not the inside of the nearest A&E.”

”Really?” My voice is loaded with disbelief. ”Even if that means spending time with me?” I glare at Tom. ”She knows who I am, doesn't she?”

”She knows you're my ex-girlfriend.” There's a subtle emphasis on ”ex”. ”She wants to get to know you.”

I close my eyes. This is a monumentally bad idea.

”Please, Kaz,” Tom whispers.

I should say no, but Tom has never been someone I can refuse and there's a part of me that believes a day in Lauren's company is a fitting punishment for sleeping with her boyfriend.

”OK,” I find myself saying. ”Lauren seems lovely. She doesn't deserve to spend that much time with Naj anyway.”

”You're a star, Kaz.” Tom reaches out to lay a hand on my arm, but stops before he reaches me, a buffer of air between his skin and mine as if I have somehow switched charge. Last night he couldn't keep his hands off me now there's a force stronger than love that's keeping him away.

I believe they call it guilt.

RUBY.

Halfway through the set and I'm as far into the pit as I can get. Owen went missing two songs ago, lost in a gloriously violent mess of flailing limbs. I've already been headb.u.t.ted twice and caught someone's fist in the side of my head. If my parents could see me they'd have a fit they think a crowd like this is fuelled by hate and violence. They couldn't possibly understand that it's the opposite it's about love for the music, love for the people who get it the way you do that a mosh pit and a three-minute-thirty song can be the biggest high you'll ever have.

Poor parents, they miss out on so many of the best things in life.

As the song draws to a close, there's a surge from the back of the tent and I'm swept off my feet and pressed into the back of the man in front, his sweat smeared over my face.

Gross.

I turn to the side and catch the eye of the person next to me in the crush.

It's Stu.

For a second it's like we're sucked back in time, landing in a memory of all the gigs we've been to together. His cheeks are flushed, sweat standing out on his skin and he's grinning uncomplicated and happy. His gig grin. As if it's taking a breath, the crowd eases up and enough s.p.a.ce emerges between our bodies for someone to push him towards me.

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