Part 13 (1/2)

Ruby doesn't waste time saying anything, but simply pulls me back from the brink and out into the fresh, glorious air, towing me straight to the taps, where I splash water over my face until I feel something approaching human. When I turn back, Ruby's stolen some clean toilet paper from a pa.s.ser-by.

”I could kiss you for this.” Being sick always makes me a bit over-emotional.

”Please don't,” comes the reply.

RUBY.

There's nothing like salty carbs to calm an unstable stomach and we head straight to the nearest food van for chips.

”Remind me to eat something vaguely resembling a vegetable at some point today,” Kaz says.

My response is to guide the chip she's holding into the ketchup on the side of the tray. ”It's called tomato sauce for a reason and that reason is tomatoes.”

Kaz shakes her head and smiles, although it's faded by the time she turns back from throwing the empty tray in the bin.

”So. Tom's girlfriend...” I start. There's no point dodging the issue, but I keep a wary eye on Kaz, in case those chips make a sudden reappearance. ”What's she doing here?”

”Presumably watching some bands.” Kaz's voice is as deadened as her expression and I'm momentarily breathless with anger at Tom for doing this to her. For leading her on like that when her replacement was planning on rocking up today.

”Where was she yesterday?” When it might have been good to know she existed. ”Squashed in a pocket of his rucksack? Locked in the boot of his mum's Fiesta up in the car park?”

I get a vague smile for this. ”Lauren said something about her cousin's wedding. Her parents dropped her off on the drive back.”

Since I can't think of a suitably witty comeback to this, I opt for the low road.

”Whatever,” I say, linking Kaz's arm in mine and moving towards the clothing stalls. ”This new girlfriend isn't a patch on the last one.” I squeeze Kaz's arm and a second later she squeezes back. ”Plus she's as rough as a hedgehog's a.r.s.e.”

Which makes her laugh for a second, only for it to turn into self-doubt. ”No, she isn't, Ruby. She's depressingly gorgeous. And sweet.”

”Like the stench of a rotting corpse.”

Another laugh, louder, deeper, like she actually finds me funny. ”She seemed really friendly.”

”About as friendly as...” C'mon, brain. ”Crabs. The kind you catch off a dodgy man-wh.o.r.e, not the snippy ones.” I make pinching crab-claws with my free hand at her until she bats me away.

She's shaking her head, but it's doing nothing to s.h.i.+ft the smile that's growing there. ”You're determined to hate her?”

”Best friend's honour.”

And she stops walking and pulls me into the biggest hug I think she's ever given me. So big that I feel like I'm surrounded in a blanket of cosy-Kazness.

”I love you to bits, Ruby Kalinski,” she murmurs.

”Back atcha, Karizma Asante-Blake.” I give her an extra tight squeeze. People talk about love all the time, but they mean all that romantic c.r.a.p that comes with s.e.xtras and heartbreak. The kind of love that drives you mental and changes you into a different kind of person the kind of love Kaz felt/feels for Tom.

That isn't something I ever plan on feeling.

The love I have for my best friend? That's the kind I plan on feeling for ever.

KAZ.

Ruby's solution to cheering me up is to distract me with shopping. When she buys a vest with a whimsical unicorn on, she haggles with the stallholder until she leaves with a bonus whimsical badger vest for me, and at the vintage clothes stall she joins me in looking through the racks of dresses rather than standing by the mirror trying on all the hats and annoying the vendor the way she usually would. It's hard to be miserable in the face of such relentless determination to cheer me up.

That's not to say that my conscience isn't putting up a pretty good fight. I'm torn between blaming myself for being so stubborn that I refused to accept Tom could have a new girlfriend, to feeling white-hot fury for how he's handled it.

He had known when he held me, when he kissed me, when he tugged off my dress and ran his hands over my skin. And when he did say something, when it was already too late, he still didn't tell me the whole truth: that Lauren would be here.

When Ruby disappears behind a curtain to try on a playsuit covered in lightning bolts, I take out my phone and reread his messages.

Give me the weekend to make things right, OK?

Now I understand why that was how long he needed, given that he'd been planning on spending it with Lauren...

Please don't hate me.

I love you.

Tom is treading a very fine line between the two.

I force myself to think of them together, hoping it might work like aversion therapy: by facing my fears so I shall conquer them.

Beautiful Lauren, with her thumb hooked in Tom's belt loop.

The familiarity with which she greeted Naj.

A glisten on Tom's cheek where she'd kissed him.

Her apparently genuine pleasure at meeting me.

She seemed so nice.

”Are you going to be sick again?” Ruby's in front of me, the playsuit she was trying on inside out and back on the rack. I shake my head, although I keep my mouth shut, just in case. So much for my therapy session.