Part 17 (1/2)

Sasha rolls her eyes. 'Now you!'

The jellybean game lifts our spirits and takes us as far as Temecula. By which time, unsurprisingly, we're feeling rather sick.

'I can't believe you've eaten all the Juicy Pears,' Sasha groans.

(What can I say? It was such a taste sensation, I emptied the whole box into my lap and picked them out one by one.) 'I can't believe you thought Pink Grapefruit and Top Banana would taste good together,' I counter.

Sasha grimaces at the memory. 'Can you put them away? Just knowing they're there is making me nauseous.'

I oblige. 'Gummi Bear?'

'Oh go on then!' Sasha rustles into the bag. 'So, how do you think the others will get on?'

'Well Zo's going to love it, no matter what. That girl is out to have a good time in this life and woe betide anyone who gets in her way.'

'I wish I was more like her,' Sasha sighs. 'She's so gung-ho, party-hearty, make-the-most-of-every-situation. Where does she get her energy?'

'No idea.' I shake my head. I still haven't got over the maracas.

'Do you think LA will be what she thinks it's going to be?'

'Even if isn't, she can handle it.'

'I just hope she doesn't get disillusioned, she's been dreaming about going there for so long.'

Uh-oh. Sasha's starting to worry about other people when she's already got her plate full worrying about herself.

'Fret ye not,' I advise. 'Zo would have just as good a time at a Dyspraxia benefit as the Oscars.'

'It's a gift.'

'Total blessing,' I agree. 'In fact, if I ever have kids that's the one thing I'd wish for them not the fingers of a concert pianist or a Genius IQ but a sunny disposition.' I reach for my bag. 'Let's give her a call-christen the Batphone!'

'Aaaghhhhhhhhhhh!'

I hold the phone away from my ear. 'Zo, are you okay?'

'Oh La, this is brilliant! I'm just pa.s.sing one of those big water viaducts like Danny and Crater Face raced along in Grease! It's all graffittied and there's these little rows of flowerpots by one of the spillage pipes, I think someone lives there. Oh G.o.d there's a naked man bathing! No way!'

The phone cuts out.

I look at Sasha. 'Do you think it was wise to let her loose unescorted?'

'Probably not,' she concedes.

I try Zo's phone again but no reply she must be in a tunnel, I'll try again in a minute.

'How are we doing?' Sasha nods at the map.

'Not far till our next freeway change.'

'Would you say I've got a melancholy disposition?' Sasha asks, trying to sound casual about her non sequitur.

'Did someone tell you that?' I ask, treading carefully.

She nods. 'The make-up artist on the Michael Kors shoot. It's one of the most depressing things I've ever heard. It makes me think I'm going to feel like this for ever.'

'You could look at it another way if you accepted that melancholy is your natural state rather than trying to reinvent yourself, then any good times would be a bonus.'

'Is that supposed to make me feel better?'

'Yes, but I can see why it wouldn't,' I admit, then try again. 'I remember watching this interview with Carrie Fisher and she was saying she's given up trying to fight her depressions when they hit, she's even given her miserable alter ego a different name so if someone rings up for her she says, ”Mildred's in town” or whoever, so people know which state she's in.'

'Sounds scary!'

'I think it's quite a good way of dealing with it. At least she knows Mildred is just visiting.'

I can't quite believe it but I seem to be experiencing a craving for a tangerine jellybean. I try to sneak the box on to my lap without alerting Sasha.

'I think I'd find it too exhausting being Zo,' Sasha decides. 'In my next life I'm coming back as one of those naturally contented people. You know those folk who seem comfortable in their own skin.'

'Like Elliot,' we say in unison. He really is the most relaxed individual I know. Or at least he was.

'91 freeway, exit here,' I direct Sasha before asking, 'Do you think he seems different?'

She pulls a contemplative face.

'I don't mean in a Helen dramatic-new-ident.i.ty way, just not quite himself.'

'Like when Aaron Spelling brought back a different actor to play Blake's son in Dynasty?' Sasha deadpans.

I chuckle. 'No. He's obviously the same guy, it's just ... his little twinkle's gone.'

'I didn't know he had a little twinkle,' Sasha teases.

'I think the E numbers in the Gummi Bears are getting to you,' I tut, then smile to myself: that's two out-of-character jokes in a row. The fact that Sasha's nearly at her mission destination seems to be giving her a boost. Or maybe it's just the hysteria setting in.

'I haven't noticed, to be honest.' Sasha tries to give my question about Elliot its due. 'He was a laugh at the beach.'

'Yeah. I just got the feeling that he was holding himself in check. Like he'd mess around and then pull back, as if Elise might disapprove or something.'

I'm so transparently trying to kick-start some Elise-bas.h.i.+ng. I swore I wasn't going to b.i.t.c.h about her any more but I can't help it.

'You know, I wouldn't have thought Elliot was her type,' Sasha muses.

Excuse me? Elliot's everyone's type, surely?

'Not saying that he's not fantastic, but I probably would have put her with someone a bit more ... a bit less ...' Sasha can't seem to find the words.

'What?' I laugh, dying to know.