Part 12 (1/2)

I grin and hug her, closing my eyes as I press my cheek to her bony shoulder and whisper, 'I'm so proud of you!'

'Don't I'll cry!' Sasha laughs.

'G.o.d imagine staying at Marilyn's Beach House!' My mind leaps ahead.

'Everyone!' The others have returned and Helen reconvenes the meeting before I can get too carried away. 'Do you have a verdict?'

All eyes are on Elise. She knows she holds the casting vote and she's milking it for all it's worth.

'Well?'

I cross my fingers, Sasha gnaws a nail, Zo scrunches her eyes closed. Nothing. Elliot nudges Elise into making a response. She makes a big show of crumpling her brow like she's in pain then concedes, 'All right ...' with a look of supreme martyrdom.

We all charge across the room and pile on top of her in a noisy, boisterous hug. Not a scene I visualized happening in this lifetime.

'That's wonderful,' Alex claps his hands together. 'I just have to go back to base and confirm the arrangements and then we can meet again at about 4pm.'

'Is that when you'll tell us where we're going?' Zo asks.

'That's right,' Alex confirms.

'Oh my G.o.d!' Zo bounces with glee.

'Well, enjoy your afternoon. I know Helen has got something special planned...'

'Am I okay in this?' I nudge Helen and tug at yesterday's travelling outfit 'Only my suitcase hasn't arrived yet.'

She gives me a sympathetic smile. 'Don't worry, where we're going you won't need clothes.'

As she marches ahead towards the door, the rest of us exchange concerned looks. No clothes? Oh G.o.d! Not only is Helen part of a cult turns out it's a nudist cult!

Elliot leans close and whispers: 'Gives a whole new meaning to the term ”Moonies”, doesn't it?'

Chapter 10.

'You can go naked if you prefer,' Helen chuckles when Elliot tells her what we were expecting. 'I just meant you didn't need any of your clothes: we supply every thing here.'

We're at La Jolla Sh.o.r.es. About to brave the waves. In wetsuits. I feel somewhat daunted.

'Helen, are you sure about this?' I ask, kneading the dense black foam.

'Yes, yes put it on. I've worked out the sizes, they should be a good fit.'

Zo's already in hers, zipper straining over her cleavage like she's doing a rubber fetish shoot for Playboy, Sasha is sleek Catwoman, Elise is refusing to join in and Elliot is falling about laughing at himself 'I look like the stick of licorice in a Sherbet Dib-dab!'

In actual fact he looks divine. His tousled hair and lean physique suits the surfer look. He's even got the right stance. I remember him saying he used to go to Newquay as a kid, before he got pale and into computers.

With a helpful hoik from Helen I manage to squirm into mine. It feels tight and restrictive yet bendy and pliant. Strange. Part of me wants to claw it off, but as I begin to calm down from the effort of getting it on, I adjust to the sensation of having a second coa.r.s.er skin and reach out to shake Elliot's hand, 'Hi, Licorice Man? I'm Lara the Human Tire!'

Elise is not amused. 'I don't know why we couldn't just stay by the hotel pool.'

'There's no better cure for jet lag than surfing,' Helen insists. 'You'll feel totally revitalized after, I promise.'

'She's right,' Elliot agrees. 'In fact I think I'm going to brave it in my shorts I want to feel the water on my skin ...'

I experience a flutter of l.u.s.t as I watch him peel himself free of the wetsuit it's all a bit slo-mo after-shave ad for my delicate sensibilities.

'What color rash guard do you want?' Helen nudges me, emptying a bag of stretchy surf T-s.h.i.+rts on the sand. 'You're supposed to wear them under your wetsuit but if you put them on top I'll be able to keep track of you.'

Zo nabs the pink, Sasha green, Elliot blue, Helen opts for yellow and hands me the red. Red for emergency. Red for STOP!

'Helen, I don't know if I can,' I bleat, noticing a surfer lose his footing and get whisked into a foamy froth out at sea. It's all too easy for me to imagine the pounding-drumming-glugging pressure as he claws his way up to the surface, gasping for air.

'You can stay with me:' Elise offers. 'I'm not going in.'

Suddenly I'm hurdling the waves like a Baywatch babe. What's a little light drowning compared to death by Elise?

'Okay,' Helen commands our attention. 'Before we get in the water there's some basic stuff you should know. I could tell you myself but instead I want you to meet the woman who taught me and totally upgraded my life Isabelle Tihanyi, she's co-owner of-'

'The California Club?' Zo jumps in.

'Actually no, she's the woman who started Surf Divas the world's first surf school for women.'

'Um, Helen.' Elliot tugs at her elbow with a wry look. 'There's something I've been meaning to tell you... '

'That's fine,' Helen a.s.sures him. They make allowances Guys on the Side, they call it. Besides, you're so pretty all we need is pop a couple of clams in your suit,' she teases, grabbing his pecs.

'Get off!' he laughs, batting her away.

'She's over in the parking lot so I'm just going to help her with her gear, back in a mo.'

'Helen!' I call after her.

'What?' She turns back.