Part 8 (1/2)

'You cold, La?' Elliot reaches over to rub my bare arm. 'Here, put this on.' He pulls off his sweater in that weird way men do, reaching back and dragging the whole thing over his head for maximum hair-rumpling potential. It's still warm as he heaps it into my lap.

'But now you'll be cold,' I half protest, slurring rather more than antic.i.p.ated.

'I'll be fine,' Elliot a.s.sures me. 'I've got this one to keep me warm,' he adds, concertina-ing Elise with his embrace.

'Careful!' she whines, wriggling free.

I can't help but snort out loud I love how Elise makes out she's this fragile little sugar-spun waif who'll snap if you hug her with any kind of sincerity. Oh to set Zo-The-Human-Pulverizer on her.

'Shall we go down on to the beach for the sunset?' Helen suggests, noting that all the drinks are now satisfactorily drained. 'I like to huddle up by the rocks - it feels like you're sitting on the edge of the world looking out ...'

'Won't the sand be cold now?' Elise complains, reluctant to leave her floral cus.h.i.+on.

'I'll get some blankets.' Helen jumps up.

'I'll come with you,' I volunteer, eager to compensate for not being one hundred per cent embracing of the new Helen, just in case she's noticed.

'It's just through here ...' Helen leads the way, around to a staff side entrance.

'I can't believe the changes in you,' I pipe, trying to sound as upbeat as possible.

'I can't believe I lived like I did for so long,' Helen sighs.

'How do you mean?'

'Oh you know, I was putting so much energy into being the me I always saw myself becoming, never really stopping to ask whether I was happy.' She frowns, and for a second I see a flash of the old Helen and I don't want her to go back.

'So what happened?' I quickly move her on.

'Reuben took me surfing and I didn't recognize myself out there!' she marvels. 'It was such a good feeling, in that moment I just let it all go.'

'How you thought things should be?' I check, wanting to be clear on how the miracle began.

She nods.

'We lay out on the beach all night and all these thoughts kept whizzing through my head and I just kept coming back to the same thing: ”This is it! This is what really matters the rest is just a distraction.'''

I get a rush of vicarious adrenalin and then ask, 'Is that when you gave up your job in Arizona?'

Helen nods. 'That night, when I went back to Reuben's apartment, I faxed a resignation letter to work. I didn't want to risk going back on Monday and slipping into my own routine, losing my nerve.'

'That was a big step.'

'Yes it was, but I had some help.'

The California Club, I think to myself. I want to ask more but I'd feel sneaky getting information before the others.

'Here!' Helen loads my arms with an array of Mexican rugs and throws.

'Are these all yours?' I admire the streaky ridges of color pink to burgundy to blue to brown - like a series of woven sunsets.

'Yup, I've got quite a collection going little tip I learned from your mum: why sit on one thin layer when you could be snuggled in seven!'

Mum never believed in traveling light to the beach there was no need. We were so close we could make five trips if we wanted. Everyone else was on damp towels with rolled-up T-s.h.i.+rts propping up their heads, while we looked like some sumptuous bedouin scenario with winds.h.i.+elds and cus.h.i.+ons and fleece blankets in jewel-bright colors. I feel swimmy with nostalgia and contemplate telling Helen about the B&B, but I don't want to ruin the mood, besides the others will be getting chilly.

'Great blankets!' Zo covets them the second we reach the rocks.

'I got them at this market in Tijuana, fiver each,' Helen brags.

'I'd love to go shopping there!' Zo enthuses. 'I bet Lara could find some real treasures.'

'The border's only twenty minutes away,' Helen tempts her further. 'My sous-chef actually lives over there.'

'Imagine commuting to work from a different country every day!' Elliot smiles. 'That's so cool'

As we snuggle into the blankets Helen deftly rustles up a beachfire and invites us to bliss out as the sun puts on the most spectacular show, melting from hot gold to moody orange and then seeping across the sky, turning the clouds alternately pink and baby blue. Just when we think the maestro is going for a subtle fade-out, a blinding electric yellow streaks the vista and we gasp at the beauty and ingenuity.

'There's definitely a magic in the air here.' Helen inhales the last breath of suns.h.i.+ne then continues speaking, almost as if in a trance. 'I just feel so free, so happy for every little thing.'

The rest of us stare at her through the now misty darkness, as one by one she strikes at our Achilles' heels.

'I feel lighter, not just physically but in my heart. I feel loved, connected, part of the world. So peaceful and yet so energized. So hopeful ...'

There's a silence while we contemplate what it would be like to feel even one of those things wholeheartedly. The want in us is palpable. It's not just me and Sasha.

'So come on, Helen!' I beg, all out of patience. 'Tell us about The California Club!'

Elise shoots me a poisonous look but everyone else gives an encouraging, 'Yeah!'

She beams back at our expectant faces. 'Okay. But I'm going to ask you all to do one thing first.' Sitting up on her haunches she rummages in her rucksack, this time pulling out a little block of paper and a collection of biros.

'Are we playing some kind of game?' Elise sneers.

'No, I just need you all to write something down,' she explains, handing out a sheet of paper and a pen to each person. 'Ready?'

We nod, looking a little wary.

'I want each of you to write down what you'd most like to happen during your vacation here.'

'Vacation?' teases Elliot in his best Valley Girl voice, 'Holiday, whatever!' Helen dismisses his friendly carping.

'Do you mean like a list of activities?' I ask.

'Stick my hands in cement on Hollywood Boulevard, get discovered by a movie director, get it on with Josh Hartnett,' Zo offers.

'Well, you're halfway there but I'm not after a list. This is more of a wish. What would be the one thing that would make your holiday complete?'