Part 28 (1/2)
It was time, Dax thought lazily. The water had gone from tepid to cool, and he'd better get out before the soothing effects of the originally steaming water were lost. Besides, just lying here gave him too d.a.m.ned much time to think. His mind had been ricocheting off painful subjects for nearly an hour now; from that glowing holograph of his home as it had been to the images he'd seen since of a blackened ruin, and from the thought of Dare enslaved and collared to an image of him free and fighting. And the image of the one collar gave rise to the other; Califa was far too muchand too vividlyon his restless mind. He knew, because every time he thought of her, his body would respond with the suddenness that he had almost come to expect.
As it was responding now, he thought ruefully, despite the coolness of the water. He stood up then, water streaming over him as he reached for a drying cloth. He rubbed down his chest and arms and belly, then stepped out of the plunge to dry his legs and hips. More than once he inadvertently brushed the flesh that had roused to thoughts of a blue-eyed Arellian, and he smothered a groan each time.
He'd forgotten to bring fresh clothes with him to the soaking room, and he couldn't bring himself to don the filthy ones he'd discarded, so he wrapped the cloth around his waist and started back to his room.
His feet were still tender, but some healing spray would ease that, and he'd be back to normal in no time, he thought. If, he thought wryly as he glanced down his body to the betraying protrusion beneath the cloth, he could ever getthat under control again.
He hadn't expected her to still be there. Yet she was, adding a finis.h.i.+ng touch to his right boot, which was barely recognizable as the scuffed, muddy thing he'd left behind. The other was the same, showing the soft gleam of thorough care. That she had done it startled him nearly as much as the sight of her kneeling at his feet had. He had sensed then that the act had nothing to do with the submissiveness of the slave; if anything, it had been the once proud Coalition officer who had been tending him with such solicitude.
The moment he came in, she leapt to her feet, the single boot clutched in her hands. He took one look at her, and slid the door tightly closed behind him. She stared at him, and he was as aware of her gaze sliding over his near naked body as he'd ever been of anything in his life. He'd never had a woman look at him with such pure need; desire, yes, even hunger, but never before pure need, untouched by any appraisal of his reputation as well as his body. It inflamed him until he knew she couldn't mistake his state of arousal, but she said nothing as her gaze flew back to his face.
”I meant to have this done,” she said haltingly.
”You didn't have to do it at all.”
He crossed the room toward her. She backed up a step, the backs of her knees coming up against the edge of his bunk. He advanced on her, and the boot slipped from her hands and fell to the floor with a soft thud. His hands came up to cup her face in the same instant as his distended flesh nudged her belly.
He heard a strangled gasp break from her in the instant before his mouth came down on hers. He didn't know how much of it came from the fact that he had nearly died last night, or how much from the fact that it had been Califa who had clearly been organizing a rescue effort. He only knew that no woman had ever had the power to do this to him, and that in these moments, when he was rigid with hot, pulsing need, whatever she'd done, whatever she'd been, mattered less than nothing to him.
As she opened for him, responding fiercely to his kiss, he wondered if she, too, was reacting to the fact that he very nearly hadn't survived his self-set mission. And then he realized it made no difference; all he cared about was that she was once more coming apart in his arms. He didn't even care that she had clawed away the cloth at his hips, that he was naked while she was still clothed; his hands were under the soft, loose s.h.i.+rt, cupping her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, and for now that was enough. Especially when she arched her back to thrust those generous curves more fully against his palms, and he felt the instant tightening of her nipples beneath his fingers.
It was as if he'd never suffered through the last time. As if he'd forgotten the excruciating tightness of a body left begging at the peak of arousal. And when she helped him strip away her clothes, revealing the slender body and impossibly smooth, pale skin, he knew it wouldn't have mattered if his body had remembered every painful second.
The moment her arms came up to wrap around his neck, he slid his hands down her naked back to the taut curve of her b.u.t.tocks. Unable to wait another instant, he lifted her, urged her to wrap her legs around him. Without a moment's hesitation she did, and he let out a groan of pained relief as he lowered her onto him. That his entry was easy, her body already slick and prepared for him, told him more of the genuineness of her need than any words could have.
He took them both down to the bunk, letting the controlled fall drive him to the hilt inside her. She gasped his name, her hips bucking in his hands as she took him deep.
”Dax,” she cried out. ”Please, now! IOh!”
The last came as he began to move, swiftly. He could sense that she was on the verge of shattering, her body already close to erupting. He thrust hard and fast, and every time he wondered if he was being too rough, she arched her hips against him, demanding no less. It happened so quickly for her, and her body convulsed so fiercely, squeezing him so tightly, that for a moment he couldn't believe he wasn't going to erupt right after her. The exquisite sensations continued until they reached the level of pain, until sweat was pouring off of him, until he swore low and harsh and guttural, and yanked himself free of her coaxing body.
She moaned, still in the throes of a release he knew had been nearly violent. He collapsed beside her, his breath still coming in rapid pants, his body shuddering its protest as his rigidly erect shaft continued to ache with unsated compulsion.
Nothing had changed. Not even this woman, who had aroused him to heights he'd never thought possible, could break the barrier. And he knew with a grim certainty that if she couldn't, no one could. Ever.
Maybe it was too bad he'd made it last night.
Chapter 19.
”You were right, you know.”
Califa barely heard him; she was still staring in shock at the controller Dax had just. handed her. He'd rolled out of the bunk, walked over to the bag that held what he'd brought from theEvening Star, and taken out the small power unit. Without a word he'd come back and held it out to her.
It was an image she knew she would remember forever; Dax, still naked, his strong, lean body still clearly aroused, standing there handing her back her autonomy. It drove all her questions about why he'd withdrawn from her before attaining his own satisfaction from her mind.
”Right?” she finally managed to ask.
”When you accused me of being suicidal.” He sounded so odd, Califa thought, his words coming in short bursts. ”I'd never thought about it. Not until last night. I realized I was worried about escaping. I'd never done that before.”
”Dax”
”And just now, I was thinking it might have been better if I hadn't.”
”Eos, Dax,” she whispered. Somehow hearing him voice what she herself had accused him of was so much worse.
”Ironic, isn't it?” His voice was sharp, caustic. ”All this time, I've been trying to get myself killed, and instead all I've managed to do is get rich. And notorious.”
”Dax, please”
He cut her off. ”So you'd better keep that. Just in case I succeed, one of these days.”
Her hand shook. He turned his back on her. He walked back to the bag, pulled out some clothing, and yanked it on. She watched him, wondering what had made him do this, now.
”Does this mean... you trust me?”
He froze, his back still to her. ”It means,” he said, his voice suddenly harsh, ”that you can do as you wish. It means thatyou shouldn't have trustedme enough to give me that thing. Or to tell me how it works. You shouldn't have trusted me at all.”
And without ever looking at her again, he walked out of the room.
Califa's fingers curled around the controller. She'd never thought to hold it again, to have in her hands the freedom once taken from her. And yet at what price? Why had he done this now, while he avoided answering the question of whether he trusted her? What did he expect her to do?
It means that you can do as you wish.
Before, she had taken that simple freedom for granted. Since, she had craved it beyond all other rights. Now, all she could do was wonder why he had given that right back to her at the moment when he as much as admitted he harbored a wish for death. She couldn't help thinking it was because he expected they would soon be separated, one way or another, either by her leaving theEvening Star, or by his death.
And as she sat there in his bed, clutching the power unit that gave her life back to her, she had to admit to herself that she found either prospect grim.
They left two nights later.
Dax had put it to a vote, as apparently he always did. All the crew had had their time in the colony, and seemed to have had enough of revelry; they were bored enough now to welcome leaving, especially after they had spent nearly a year here not very long ago, when Dax had built the fighter. Still, Califa wondered how much of the willing vote stemmed from Dax's obvious eagerness to get back flying again; this crew would do a great deal to keep him happy.
His eagerness to be off made her uneasy, wondering if it was somehow connected to heror to the fact that Larcos's image screen insured they were in little danger here. Although Dax had ignored her, as he had been since he'd returned the controller, Roxton had sensed her unease.
”You don't agree?” he asked her before the vote was taken.
She was startled that he'd even asked, but more startled that the others.e.xcept Daxseemed to be waiting for her answer. Something had changed; it was as if her willingness to risk herself to rescue Dax had made them accept her as one of them. Of course, most of them didn't know that it had been a Coalition officer giving those instinctive orders.
But Roxton knew, and it was he who had asked. So in the end she had answered honestly.
”We are apparently safe here. I don't believe the Coalition will have given up the search so soon. And as a wise old warrior once said”here her gaze roamed to Dax; that ancient fighter, Geron, had been Triotian”if you do not move, you do not leave a trail.”
It was then that Dax had spoken, although he still did not look at her.
”She speaks truly. There is a danger. I will not force you all to face it, not when I have brought it down on you.”