Part 40 (2/2)

LETTER 135.

To the Earl of ----.

Silleri, May 5.

My Lord,

I have been conversing, if the expression is not improper when I have not had an opportunity of speaking a syllable, more than two hours with a French officer, who has declaimed the whole time with the most astonis.h.i.+ng volubility, without uttering one word which could either entertain or instruct his hearers; and even without starting any thing that deserved the name of a thought.

People who have no ideas out of the common road are, I believe, generally the greatest talkers, because all their thoughts are low enough for common conversation; whereas those of more elevated understandings have ideas which they cannot easily communicate except to persons of equal capacity with themselves.

This might be brought as an argument of the inferiority of women's understanding to ours, as they are generally greater talkers, if we did not consider the limited and trifling educations we give them; men, amongst other advantages, have that of acquiring a greater variety as well as sublimity of ideas.

Women who have conversed much with men are undoubtedly in general the most pleasing companions; but this only shews of what they are capable when properly educated, since they improve so greatly by that accidental and limited opportunity of acquiring knowledge.

Indeed the two s.e.xes are equal gainers, by conversing with each other: there is a mutual desire of pleasing, in a mixed conversation, restrained by politeness, which sets every amiable quality in a stronger light.

Bred in ignorance from one age to another, women can learn little of their own s.e.x.

I have often thought this the reason why officers daughters are in general more agreable than other women in an equal rank of life.

I am almost tempted to bring Bell as an instance; but I know the blindness and partiality of nature, and therefore check what paternal tenderness would dictate.

I am shocked at what your Lords.h.i.+p tells me of Miss H----. I know her imprudent, I believe her virtuous: a great flow of spirits has been ever hurrying her into indiscretions; but allow me to say, my Lord, it is particularly hard to fix the character by our conduct, at a time of life when we are not competent judges of our own actions; and when the hurry and vivacity of youth carries us to commit a thousand follies and indiscretions, for which we blush when the empire of reason begins.

Inexperience and openness of temper betray us in early life into improper connexions; and the very constancy, and n.o.bleness of nature, which characterize the best hearts, continue the delusion.

I know Miss H---- perfectly; and am convinced, if her father will treat her as a friend, and with the indulgent tenderness of affection endeavor to wean her from a choice so very unworthy of her, he will infallibly succeed; but if he treats her with harshness, she is lost for ever.

He is too stern in his behaviour, too rigid in his morals: it is the interest of virtue to be represented as she is, lovely, smiling, and ever walking hand in hand with pleasure: we were formed to be happy, and to contribute to the happiness of our fellow creatures; there are no real virtues but the social ones.

'Tis the enemy of human kind who has thrown around us the gloom of superst.i.tion, and taught that austerity and voluntary misery are virtue.

If moralists would indeed improve human nature, they should endeavor to expand, not to contract the heart; they should build their system on the pa.s.sions and affections, the only foundations of the n.o.bler virtues.

From the partial representations of narrow-minded bigots, who paint the Deity from their own gloomy conceptions, the young are too often frighted from the paths of virtue; despairing of ideal perfections, they give up all virtue as unattainable, and start aside from the road which they falsely suppose strewed with thorns.

I have studied the heart with some attention; and am convinced every parent, who will take the pains to gain his children's friends.h.i.+p, will for ever be the guide and arbiter of their conduct: I speak from a happy experience.

Notwithstanding all my daughter says in gaiety of heart, she would sooner even relinquish the man she loves, than offend a father in whom she has always found the tenderest and most faithful of friends. I am interrupted, and have only time to say, I have the honor to be,

My Lord, &c.

Wm. Fermor.

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