Part 13 (1/2)
”Great idea, champ.”
”And if you buy him his own real one for Christmas, Licia, I'll kill you.” Kate laughed at the thought, as she shoved a handful of popcorn into her mouth.
”When do you think you guys'll be back?”
Kate shrugged, looking down at Tygue. ”I don't know. We'll see.” She had been neglecting Tom lately, and she had some ideas for a new book. ”I really ought to do some work. And I've got Tygue set up with a group that's going to ride every day at the Adams ranch until school starts in the fall.”
”And the book?” Leave it to Felicia to bring that up. She had been trying not to think of it. Publication date was only a few days away.
”That's their problem now. I wrote it. Now they can sell it.”
”That simple, eh?” Felicia raised an eyebrow and looked pointedly at Kate. ”You wrote it, and that's it. Did it ever occur to you that they're going to want your help selling it?”
”How about door to door?” Kate lay on the floor with a giggle.
”You know what they want.” Felicia was not going to be pushed off the track. Not that easily. She had waited weeks to bring it up.
”How do I know what they want? And that's not the point.”
”Oh really? Then what is the point? What you want?”
”Maybe. I don't see why I should do anything that makes me uncomfortable.”
”Don't be an a.s.s, Kate.” Tygue got up and snapped on the TV. He was bored. He removed the bowl of popcorn and took it with him, and there was nothing left for Kate to hide in. She looked up at Felicia, and then out at the view. ”You heard me. And you're crazy if you don't do promotion work on the book. This is your big chance. You've made it. This time. If you capitalize on that now, your next book will be even bigger. And then you'll be a permanent fixture in the realm of literary successes. But this is your tryout, kiddo. Blow this one, and you'll never have the chance again. You can't afford to ignore it.”
”How do you know that's what they want? The book can sell itself.”
”You're crazy. You're throwing your career away. And you know as well as I do that that's what you want. And you can do it, dammit. You've got everything it takes to make it. Everything. Looks, brains, and talent.”
”But no b.a.l.l.s.”
”Bulls.h.i.+t. You're just so busy hiding them from yourself, you've forgotten you have them. And you know that's true. Besides, look what you've done in the last month. You've been up here twice. You're not a hermit anymore, Kate, and you know it. You don't even want to be.”
”This is different though, Licia. This isn't public. I'm not sticking my face out there on television, asking for someone to throw a pie in it. Or worse, put a knife through my heart. Or Tygue's.” She said it softly, so the boy couldn't hear. But he was wrapped up in the program he was watching on the huge color TV. ”I'm just not going to take that chance, Licia.”
”You're a tough woman to argue with, d.a.m.n you. Because if you did do it and something went wrong, I'd feel like s.h.i.+t.”
”So would I. That's why I won't do it.”
”But think how much fun it would be.”
”Would it? I'm not so sure. It wasn't really fun for Tom.”
”Yes it was.”
”Not really.”
”Maybe not for you. But it was for him. It's got to be. It's got to be the biggest high in the world.”
”I'm happier without it.”
”And lonelier too.”
”Licia, my love, success is no antidote for loneliness.”
”Maybe not. But doesn't it turn you on to see all the ads for your book? Christ, lady, it'll be out in three days. Doesn't that knock you on your a.s.s?”
Kate grinned up at her friend sheepishly. ”It sort of does.”
”See what I mean. And think what would happen if you did some publicity appearances!” Felicia was at it again, and Kate held up a hand with a grin and a shake of the head.
”Enough. Basta! No more!” But Felicia would never stop and they both knew it.
”Maybe Weinberg will change your mind.”
But this time Kate shook her head with a look of a.s.surance. ”Not a chance. And he's too smart to try.”
Kate and Tygue left San Francisco early Sunday afternoon. Felicia had taken the week off to be with them, but she was going back to work the next day, and Tygue was scheduled to start his riding group the following morning. And there was Tom. Poor Tom. He hadn't had a visit in almost two weeks. She had been so busy before she left. She would go up to see him first thing the next morning. It was a little crazy driving all this way down on Sunday, and then halfway back up on Monday. But there was no other way to do it. She couldn't take Tygue with her to Mead.
”Mom?”
”What, sweetheart?” They were just easing into the Sunday-afternoon traffic leaving the city. ”Can we come back?”
”I told you we could.”
”Soon?” She smiled over at him and nodded. ”Soon.”
And then he giggled to himself and she looked over at him again. ”What's up?”
”I can't wait to see Bert.”
She laughed at the thought too. ”Neither can I.” It would be good to get home. All these expeditions were exhausting. For a minute, she was reminded of the traveling she had once done with Tom. That had been exhausting too. She wondered how she had done it. Constantly packing, flying, driving, staying in hotels. But he had always made it fun. An adventure. A honeymoon.
”What were you thinking?”
”How much fun I used to have taking trips with your dad.” She was surprised at herself for saying it. She rarely spoke of Tom to Tygue. The subject was better left alone. And he knew she didn't like to talk about it. All he knew was that his father had died. In an accident. Before he was born. He had never even asked what Tom did for a living. But one day he would. She'd cross that bridge when she came to it. She'd come up with some lie like all the others. She'd have to.
”Did you take a lot of trips?”
”Some.” She was closing up again.
”Like to where?” Now he was all boy, settling down in his seat with Willie, wanting to hear about her adventures. The way he looked made her laugh.
”Lots of places. We went to Cleveland once.” Their first weekend together. Why had she told him that? Why had she thought of it? She felt a wave of pain turn over slowly in her heart.
”Was it neat?”
”Yes, very neat. It's not a very pretty place, but your father made it pretty.” Tygue looked bored. Pretty was for girls.
”Did you ever go to New York?” Felicia was going there soon, and he had heard them talk about it.