Part 37 (1/2)
She put the paper down and drew the bed jacket around her shoulders. It was growing chilly. She looked over at the clock. It was almost midnight and Johnny hadn't come in yet. It had been an exciting day.
She could still hear von Elster's panicked cry through the closed doors of the projection room as she waited in the outer hall. ”But, Mr. Edge, how did I know she vas your vife? She didn't tell me!” And then she fled.
Something of the panic in von Elster's voice had transferred itself to her. She could imagine the mood Johnny was in that could bring it about and she didn't want to face him. Not there. Not on his grounds.
She would face him in their apartment in the hotel, where she could meet him on her terms. Where she could talk to him not only with her lips but with her body. She had confidence in her body. She knew Johnny.
She had remained close to the phone all afternoon. She expected Johnny to call her and ask her about it. But he didn't call until it was almost seven o'clock.
Then his voice was cool and impersonal. ”I'll have to miss dinner, darling,” he said. ”I'm stuck at the studio for a while tonight. You have dinner and go to bed. I'll be home about midnight.”
”Yes, Johnny,” she breathed obediently into the phone, and waited for him to say something about the test.
He hesitated for a moment, she could hear him clear his throat. ”So long, Dulcie,” he said.
”So long, Johnny,” she said into the phone, and heard the click of the receiver being put back on the hook. A vague feeling of disappointment swept over her. He hadn't spoken about it. Then she smiled to herself. Good. The battle would be fought on even more favorable grounds for her than she had expected.
She heard footsteps in the hall and the sound of a key being inserted in the lock. Quickly she reached up and turned off the lamp near the bed, plunging the room in darkness. She threw her bed jacket onto a chair and lay back against the pillow.
The door opened and she could hear him walking through the other room to the bedroom. He stopped on the threshold and stood there.
She sat up in the dark. ”Johnny?” Her voice was low and almost frightened.
She could hear him expel a deep breath. ”Yes.”
She reached out an arm toward the bed lamp. She felt a shoulder strap of her gown slip as she reached out. She let it slip all the way before she snapped on the light.
There was a hurt look on his face as he stood there.
”I must have dozed off while I was waiting for you,” she said lamely.
He didn't answer. He walked over to the closet and took off his jacket. He moved stiffly as if he weren't sure of himself.
She watched him from the bed. ”Did you have a tough day, darling?” she asked in a sympathetic tone of voice.
He turned and faced her. His face was impa.s.sive and she couldn't tell what he was thinking. He was silent for a long moment while they looked at each other. At last he spoke. ”You didn't make it any easier,” he said heavily.
She looked at him appealingly. ”You're angry with me,” she said in a very small voice.
He took off his tie and placed it on the tie rack in the closet before he answered. He unb.u.t.toned his collar and looked down at her. ”No, I'm not angry, Dulcie,” he said slowly, ”I'm hurt.” She could see a muscle working in his face. He turned away, stiffly walked to the dresser, and put his cuff links on it. His voice was filled with pain. ”Dulcie, why did you do it?” He didn't turn around.
She scrambled from the bed and ran to him. He half turned toward her and she slipped her arms under his and around him. She placed her head against his chest. His arms hung loosely at his side.
”Oh, Johnny,” she cried in the same small voice, ”I didn't mean anything! I thought it would be fun and you would get a laugh out of it!”
Involuntarily his arms went around her. He looked down at the top of her head. She was so warm against him. His voice was softer now. ”It wasn't funny,” he said, his voice trembling a little.
She kissed his chest where the s.h.i.+rt was open. She didn't look up, she knew she had him. Her voice seemed almost at the point of tears. ”We're quarreling, Johnny.”
He put a hand under her chin and turned her face up to his. He looked deep into her eyes, then he kissed her and placed his cheek against hers. ”We're not quarreling, darling,” he whispered. ”But why did you do it? Aren't you happy with me? I thought you'd forgotten about being an actress.”
”I had, Johnny,” she said quickly. ”Honest, I had. But something happened. I don't know what it was. Maybe it was being alone all day. You're always at the studio. You're so busy. When that funny little man came up to me on the street, I didn't think. It happened almost before I knew it. It was something different to do, something to do to fill up the time until I saw you.” She hesitated for a second and then looked up into his face. ”It's so lonely staying here in the hotel all day waiting for you. I don't know anybody here.”
His voice was sympathetic now. ”I'm sorry, darling,” he apologized. ”I should have realized how it was for you.” He kissed her cheek and smiled. ”Anyway, we won't be here for long. Soon we'll be back in New York.” A thought struck him, and his smile grew a little broader. ”Maybe soon you won't have to worry about taking up your time,” he added meaningfully.
She stood very still within his arms. It was time for him to learn his first lesson. That was not the time-killer she wanted. Ever. She looked at him silently. Slowly the tears began to well into her eyes.
He looked down at her. A puzzled expression began to creep over his face.
Suddenly she broke from his arms and flung herself face-down on the bed and began to sob.
He followed her to the bed and sat down beside her. He put his hands on her shoulders and tried to turn her around. She wouldn't turn, only sobbed harder. His voice was frightened. ”Dulcie, honey, what's the matter? What did I say?”
Slowly she turned around and sat up. Her gown slipped to her waist and the tears ran down her cheeks. ”Johnny,” she wept, ”You're going to hate me! I fooled you!”
He put his arms around her and drew her to him. He pressed his lips to her ear. ”I'm not going to hate you,” he whispered tenderly. ”What are you crying about?”
She buried her face against his shoulder. ”I should have told you before, but I was afraid you wouldn't marry me!”
His voice was genuinely frightened now. She fought an impulse to keep her triumph from showing on her face. His hands gripped tightly into her shoulders, hurting her. She welcomed the pain. It was a sign of the power she had over him.
”Dulcie, what do you have to tell me?” His eyes were staring into hers searchingly.
She looked up at him bravely. Her voice was low and full of self-reproach. ”I had an accident. Years ago. When I was a kid.” Her gaze fell from his. She looked down at the bed. ”The doctor said I could never have a child.” She looked up at him again, her eyes filled with tears.
Slowly the tenseness was disappearing from his face.
”Johnny, you're disappointed!” she cried, the tears contorting her face once more. ”You wanted a child!”
A look of tenderness came to his eyes. She had never seen them so soft and warm. She didn't know they were mellowed by his disappointment. She didn't guess how close she was to the truth.
He pressed her head to his chest. ”No, darling,” he lied, his eyes looking somberly over her head to the picture of Peter he had on the dresser. He was going to name his first son after him. ”It really doesn't matter.”
She kissed his cheek, his chin, his lips. Short, quick kisses. Light as the flutter of a b.u.t.terfly's wings. ”Johnny, you're so good to me!”
He smiled slowly. ”Why shouldn't I be?” he asked. ”Ain't you my baby?”
She snuggled her head against his shoulder. ”Then you're not mad at me?” she asked in a small and hesitating voice.
He kissed her neck for an answer. He held his face against her and guided it toward her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. She bent forward and kissed the top of his head and smiled. He was so simple. It was so easy to keep him happy.
Her voice was still low and small. ”Johnny,” she asked, ”how was the test?”
She could feel him start with surprise. He tried to raise his head, but she wouldn't let him. Her hands kept his face between her b.r.e.a.s.t.s.