Part 5 (1/2)

But how would we answer if someone said, ”G.o.d wants to bless you”? We probably would say, ”I don't deserve that.”

How many of us believe we are ent.i.tled to G.o.d's blessings? We want the good things. We want G.o.d to love us, encourage us, bless us, and give us victory, but to say we deserve the blessings may be more than we are willing to accept.

Why do we struggle over the concept of deserving? Our tendency is to think that we have to do something to earn the blessings . . . that we have to be good enough or faithful enough. We miss the point of G.o.d's powerful, gracious love. Our blessings from G.o.d are not a result of our goodness. They are the result of G.o.d's goodness.

We are ent.i.tled to G.o.d's blessings for only one reason: because we are His children. It's just that simple. Those of us who are parents grasp that concept with regard to our children. We brought them into the world, and they deserve our love. We freely give them our love before they do anything good or bad. They deserve our protection and all the good things we choose to give them. They don't deserve those things because they've done something to earn them, but simply because they are our children.

Satan loves to trip us up on this one. As soon as we think it is right for us to be blessed, he points to our weaknesses or our failures. G.o.d points to our relations.h.i.+p. That's the difference.

Gracious and loving G.o.d, thank You for being willing to bless me. Even though the devil tries to make me feel undeserving, please remind me that I am Your child and You are my Father. My relations.h.i.+p to You makes me deserving, and I thank You for that in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

28.

Evil Forebodings All the days of the desponding and afflicted are made evil [by anxious thoughts and forebodings], but he who has a glad heart has a continual feast [regardless of circ.u.mstances].

-PROVERBS 15:15 Shortly after I began to seriously study the Bible, I felt an oppressive atmosphere around me. Everything seemed gloomy-as if something bad was going to happen. It wasn't anything I could explain, just a vague, dreaded sense of something evil or wrong about to happen.

”Oh, G.o.d,” I prayed. ”What's going on? What is this feeling?”

I had hardly uttered the question when G.o.d spoke to me. ”Evil forebodings.”

I had to meditate on that for several minutes. I had never heard the phrase before. G.o.d had spoken to me, and I stayed quiet before Him so I could hear the answers.

I realized, first of all, that my anxieties weren't real-that is, they were not based on true circ.u.mstances or situations. I was having problems-as most of us do -but they were not as critical as the devil was making it appear. My acceptance of his lies, even though they were vague, was opening the door for the evil forebodings. I eventually realized that I had lived in the midst of similar gloomy feelings most of my life. I was expecting something bad to happen instead of aggressively expecting something good.

I felt a dread, an unexplained anxiety around me. I couldn't put my finger on anything specific-only that sense of something evil or terrible.

The Living Bible says, ”When a man is gloomy, everything seems to go wrong.” That's how I felt, as if something-maybe everything-was wrong or was about to go wrong.

As previously stated, I realized that for most of my life, I had been miserable because of evil thoughts and anxious forebodings.

As I continued to meditate on evil forebodings, G.o.d broke through and gave me a clear revelation. I was miserable because my thoughts were miserable-my thoughts were poisoning my outlook. My thoughts robbed me of the ability to enjoy my life. I should have been saying, ”Thank You, G.o.d, for today. Thank you for Dave and my children and my friends and all Your blessings.” But, instead of being positive, I found myself even dreading to answer the phone when it rang, for fear it might be bad news.

All of this gloom and doom that surrounded me began in my abusive childhood. I endured a great deal of misery, and most of my life was unhappy and filled with disappointments. I began to live in a vague fear and dread of the future. I had not been taught to let go of what was behind. I couldn't rejoice in what I had now and the good things going on in my life. I focused on the past and what might lie ahead-and what lay ahead was usually gloom and doom and chaos because that was what I was expecting. Satan had built a stronghold in my mind, and I was trapped until I learned I could tear down that negative, evil stronghold by applying G.o.d's Word to my life and circ.u.mstances.

I once had a friend whom I'll call Marlene. She lived in a state of constant chaos. One day she had health problems. The next day Marlene's son had lost his job, and they were going to have to support him and his family. As soon as that was over, another traumatic situation would erupt. Marlene was a Christian, but she lived in fear of bad news. Marlene would not have known how to live a life that was not filled with chaos. All of her conversation was negative and gloomy. Even her countenance was sad and gloomy.

I realized that I had started to become like Marlene-I was miserable because I had allowed Satan to rob me of the ability to enjoy my life. It took a while before I was able to be positive most of the time, but little by little, my thinking changed, and so did my life. I no longer live in evil forebodings, expecting to hear at any moment of a new problem. Now I purposely expect good things to happen in my life. I realize now that I can choose my thoughts. I don't have to accept Satan's lies.

Like everyone else, negative things do happen to me from time to time, but I don't become negative because of them. I remain positive, and that helps me enjoy my life even in the midst of the storms.

Dear Lord Jesus, through so many days in my life, I have been robbed of my joy and contentment by evil forebodings. As those feelings come to me, please remind me that You are in control. Help me to rest in You and rejoice in Your power in my life. Amen.

29.

Hold Your Tongue Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit. Depart from evil and do good; seek, inquire for, and crave peace and pursue (go after) it!

-PSALM 34:13-14 ”You really have the gift of gab,” one man told me many years ago, when I first started in the ministry. He had pointed out something that I already knew: G.o.d had given me ”a ready tongue,” that is, I speak easily. Words are my tools. The Lord first gave me that gift, and then He called me into the ministry to use that ability to work for Him.

I have no trouble talking. That's my gift; that's also been my greatest problem. Because I seem to always have something to say, I have struggled many, many years over the right use of my tongue.

It has not been an easy battle.

Over the years, I heard various people saying things like, ”Hold your tongue.” ”Do you have to speak every word that comes to your mind?” ”Do you always speak first and think later?” ”Must you sound so harsh?” Had I truly listened to what people were saying, I might have realized that G.o.d was trying to tell me something. But I ignored their comments and continued in my own stubborn ways.

I know I have wounded people with my words in the past, and I am sorry for that. I'm also grateful that G.o.d has forgiven me.

Several years ago, I realized that if G.o.d was going to use my life, I had to gain control of my tongue-not to just stop talking, but to keep my tongue from evil, and my lips from speaking deceit, as the psalmist David says.

I had a choice. I could hurt people with my words-and I could do that well-or I could bring my lips into subjection to G.o.d. Obviously, I wanted to be subject to the Lord, but it was still a battle.

Our words are expressions of our hearts-of what's going on inside us. If we want to know who a person really is, all we need to do is listen to their words. If we listen long enough, we learn a lot about them.

As I learned to listen to my own words, I also began to learn a lot about myself. Some of the things I learned did not please me, but they did help me realize that I had a character flaw that needed to be addressed. My words were not pleasing G.o.d, and I wanted them to. Once I confessed my failure to G.o.d, the victory came-not all at once and not perfectly, but G.o.d is patient with me. I'm growing, and part of my growth is keeping my lips from evil.

No matter how negative you are or have been, or how long you've been that way, G.o.d wants to change you. In the early days after my confession to G.o.d, I still failed more often than I succeeded, but every time I did succeed, I knew I was closer to G.o.d's plan for my life. G.o.d can do the same for you.

It won't be easy, but you can win. And the effort will be worth it.

Lord, help me use my mouth for right things. Put a watch over my mouth lest I sin against You with my tongue. Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to You. I ask it in Jesus' wonderful name. Amen.

30.

Mind-Binding Spirits He sends forth His word and heals them and rescues them from the pit and destruction.

-PSALM 107:20 I knew G.o.d had called me to a powerful, worldwide ministry. I didn't brag about it and didn't feel that I was special. I knew I was just a woman from Fenton, Missouri, whom no one had ever heard of. Yet I believed I would have a national radio ministry. I believed G.o.d would use me to heal the sick and to change lives.

In fact, instead of being proud, I was humbled. Who was I that G.o.d would use me? The more I meditated on that idea, the more I rejoiced in the goodness and sovereignty of G.o.d. In 1 Corinthians 1:26-31, the apostle Paul pointed out that G.o.d's choices often appear mysterious. He chooses the foolish to dumbfound the wise, the weak to shame the mighty. Paul concluded, ”Let him who boasts and proudly rejoices and glories, boast and proudly rejoice and glory in the Lord” (v. 31).

I felt no cause to boast. I believed G.o.d's calling and promise to me. That's what I want to stress. And then I waited for G.o.d to open the doors that no one could shut. When He was ready, it would happen.

Although I don't know when the problem began, one day I heard myself ask, ”I wonder if G.o.d really does want to use me?” Instead of holding on to the promises of G.o.d, I looked at myself and my lack of qualifications. I started to compare myself with other servants of G.o.d. When you compare yourself with others, that's always a mistake, because you usually end up on the negative side.

Doubts began to creep in. Maybe I just made that up. Maybe I wanted something like that to happen, but it probably won't. The longer the predicament went on, the more confused I became. I questioned G.o.d and the promise. I realized I no longer had the bright vision G.o.d had given me. I was filled with doubt and unbelief.