Part 31 (1/2)

”--In this world. G.o.d forgive me, I'd almost forgotten my cloth!

We have, I say, only one life to live in this world, and must make the best of it. I tell you so, and I'm a clergyman.”

”Indeed, sir?”

”Damme, yes; and, what's more, I'll take odds that I'm not the rector of this very parish.”

By this time, as you will guess, I had no doubt of his madness. To begin with, anyone less like a parson it would be hard to pick in a crowd, and, besides, I remembered some of his language to the highwaymen.

”It _ought_ to be hereabouts,” he went on meditatively. ”And if it should turn out to be my parish we must make an effort to get your money back, if only for our credit's sake, hey?”

”Oh,” said I, suspicious all of a sudden, ”if these ruffians are your paris.h.i.+oners and you know them--”

”Know them?” he caught me up. ”How the devil should I know them?

I've never been within a hundred miles of this country in my life.”

”You say 'tis your parish--”

”I don't. I only say that it may be.”

”But, excuse me, if you've never seen it before--”

”I don't see it now,” he snapped.

”Then excuse me again, but how on earth do you propose--here in the dead of night, on an outlandish moorland, in a country you have never seen--to discover a chest of treasure which seven or eight scoundrelly, able-bodied natives are at this moment making off with and hiding?”

”The problem, my friend, as you state it is too easy; too ridiculously easy. 'Natives' you say: I only hope they may be. The difficulty will only begin if we discover them to be strangers to these parts.”

”Have mercy then on my poor dull wits, sir, and take the case at its easiest. We'll suppose these fellows to be natives. Still, how are you to discover their whereabouts and the whereabouts of my pay-chest?”

”Why, man alive, by the simple expedient of finding a house, knocking at the door, and asking! You don't suppose, do you, that seven or eight able-bodied men can commit highway robbery upon one of His Majesty's coaches and their neighbours be none the wiser? I tell you, these rural parishes are the veriest gossip-shops on earth. Go to a city if you want to lose a secret, not to a G.o.d-forsaken moor like this around us, where every labourer's thatch hums with rumour. Moreover, you forget that as a parish priest among this folk--as curator of their souls--I may have unusually good opportunities--” Here he checked himself, while I shrugged my shoulders. ”By the way, it may interest you to hear how I came by this benefice. Can you manage to walk? If so, I will tell you on the road, and we shall be losing no time.”

I stood up and announced that I could limp a little. He offered me his arm.

”It's an instructive story,” he went on, paying no heed to my dejection; ”and it may teach you how a man should comport himself in adversity.

Six weeks ago this very night I lost two fortunes in less than six hours.

You are listening?”

”With what patience I can.”

”Right. You see, I was born with a taste for adventure. At this moment-- you may believe it or not--I'm enjoying myself thoroughly. But the deuce of it is that I was also born with a poor flimsy body. Come, I'm not handsomely built, am I?”

”Not particularly,” I answered; and indeed his body was shaped like an egg.

”Confound it, sir, you needn't agree quite so offensively. You're none too straight in the legs yourself, if it comes to that! However,” he continued in a more equable tone, ”being weak in body, I sought my adventures in a quarter where a long head serves one better than long legs--I mean the gaming table. Now comes my story. Six weeks ago I took a hand at lasquenet in a company which included a n.o.bleman whom for obvious reasons I will only call the Duke. He is of the blood royal, sir; but I mention him no more closely, and you as a gentleman will not press me. Eh? Very well. By three o'clock in the morning I had lost fifteen thousand pounds. In such a case, young man, you would probably have taken your head in your hands and groaned. We called for wine, drank, and went on again. By seven in the morning I had won my money back, and was the Duke's creditor for twenty-two thousand pounds to boot.”

”But,” said I, ”a minute ago you told me you had lost two fortunes.”

”I am coming to that. Later in the day the Duke met me in St. James'

Street, and said, 'Noy'--my name is Noy, sir, Timothy Noy--'Noy,' said he, 'I owe you twenty-two thousand pounds; and begad, sir, it's a desperate business for I haven't the money, nor the half of it.' Well, I didn't fly out in a rage, but stood there beside him on the pavement, tapping my shoe with my walking-cane and considering. At last I looked up, and said I, 'Your Grace must forgive my offering a suggestion; for 'tis a cursedly awkward fix your Grace is in, and one to excuse boldness in a friend, however humble.' 'Don't put it so, I beg,' said he. 'My dear Noy, if you can only tell me how to get quits with you, I'll be your debtor eternally.'”

The old gentleman paused, lightly disengaged his arm from mine, and fumbled among his many waistcoats till he found a pocket and in it a snuff-box.