Part 3 (2/2)
d.a.m.n, she is something.
Griff watched Emma's denim-clad a.s.s as she walked out of the room with Alaina. Feisty, independent, sa.s.sy...all the characteristics that made her a h.e.l.l of a lot of fun.
The way she looked made all his male hormones stand up and cheer.
Ignoring the way her blouse gaped to expose her b.r.e.a.s.t.s when she bent over to make a shot hadn't been easy. Ignoring the way her jeans cupped that perfect a.s.s as she made a shot right in front of him hadn't been easy either. She oozed s.e.x appeal.
Ten months without s.e.x was a long time.
”You're crazy, bro, do you know that?” Dax asked Griff.
Griff paused while gathering the b.a.l.l.s from the pockets. ”Why?”
”Emma is hot for you. If you wiggled one finger, she'd be all over you.”
”I don't want her all over me.”
”Why not? s.h.i.+t, man, you should go for it.”
”Leave him alone, Dax,” Rye said firmly.
”No.” Dax frowned at his oldest brother. ”It's time for him to let Jana go and get on with his life.”
This was the second time in two days Dax had implied that Griff should let Jana go. Griff had had enough of his brother trying to tell him how to live his life. He rounded on Dax, fists clenched at his sides.
”Shut the h.e.l.l up. You don't know how I feel.”
”I know you loved her. h.e.l.l, Griff, we all loved Jana. And I know ten months isn't a long time to grieve. But it's time to move on.”
”Who the f.u.c.k are you to tell me when it's time to move on?”
”I'm your brother and I love you! I want you to be happy again.”
He made it sound so simple, like Griff could simply snap his fingers and all the pieces of his heart would go back together. ”How am I supposed to be happy? Huh? Tell me that, Dax. I lost my wife! Jana was the only woman I ever loved, the only lover I ever had.”
”I know that-”
”You don't know s.h.i.+t. You've never been in love. You go through women more often than I change my shorts!”
”Okay, that's enough,” Rye said, stepping between the two angry men.
His vision swimming in red from rage, Griff pushed Rye aside and stepped right up to Dax, their noses almost touching. ”You don't know what it's like to love someone, to devote your whole life to her. You don't know what it's like to lose her because some f.u.c.ked-up kid decided to rob a bank to pay for his next hit!”
His anger, his grief, overwhelmed Griff. The words tumbled out of his mouth, words he'd never meant to ever say.
”You don't know what it's like to lose your child!”
Griff didn't realize what he'd said until he saw the shocked looks on his brothers' faces. His throat tightened up, making it impossible to say anything else.
”Jana was pregnant?” Rye whispered, the shock as evident in his voice as it was on his face.
Griff dropped his head and stared at the floor. After a long moment, he nodded.
”Oh, Jesus,” Dax breathed.
”Why didn't you tell us?” Rye asked.
Griff swallowed, trying to make his voice work again, then drew in a deep breath and blew it out. Raising his head, he looked into his brothers' sympathetic faces. ”We were going to on Thanksgiving. Since Jana had had one miscarriage, we wanted to wait until she was through the first trimester before we told anyone.”
”Mom and Dad didn't know either?” Dax asked.
Griff shook his head. ”We didn't tell anyone.”
Rye clasped Griff's shoulder. ”How far along was she?”
”Almost three months.”
Griff's voice gave out on the last word. His brothers' faces blurred. Pain filled his chest, squeezing his heart, his lungs.
His soul.
A strangled sound came from his throat. His knees buckled and he sank to the floor. Strong arms wrapped around him, Rye on one side, Dax on the other. Griff gripped his brothers' arms and hung his head. Tears poured from his eyes, tears he hadn't been able to shed when he lost Jana and their baby. His body shook no matter how hard he tried to stop it.
”Let it out, bro,” Dax whispered, his voice husky, rough. ”Just let it out.”
Griff had no idea how long his brothers held him while he cried. He felt completely drained when the last tear fell from his eyes. Drawing in a shaky breath, he lifted his head and looked at Rye and Dax. Both his brothers' eyes were wet with tears.
”Can you get up?” Rye asked.
Griff nodded. With his brothers' help, he managed to make his shaky legs work well enough to stand. He wiped the last of his tears from his face and lifted his head. He saw Alaina and Emma standing a few feet away. Both of them were crying.
He gazed at Emma long enough to see her mouth form the words, ”I'm so sorry,” before he looked away.
”I, uh, I think it's time for me to go home.”
”No, don't.” Alaina stepped closer and touched his arm. ”Why don't you stay here tonight?”
”Yeah, that's a good idea,” Rye said. ”You don't need to be alone.”
Griff looked back at Emma. ”You already have a guest.”
”Hey, no problem,” Emma said. ”You can sleep in the guest room. I'm short. I can sack out on the couch in the living room.”
Being alone held no appeal at all, yet Griff didn't want to inconvenience Emma. ”It isn't right for you to give up the bed for me.”
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