Part 56 (1/2)
[Ill.u.s.tration: THE LAST TURNING.]
She shut the window softly, and s.h.i.+vered all over. She left the attic and went to her own room; but she did not begin to take off her out-of-door things till she heard Cynthia's foot on the stairs.
Then she hastily went to the toilet-table, and began to untie her bonnet-strings; but they were in a knot, and took time to undo.
Cynthia's step stopped at Molly's door; she opened it a little and said,--”May I come in, Molly?”
”Certainly,” said Molly, longing to be able to say ”No” all the time.
Molly did not turn to meet her, so Cynthia came up behind her, and putting her two hands round Molly's waist, peeped over her shoulder, putting out her lips to be kissed. Molly could not resist the action--the mute entreaty for a caress. But, in the moment before, she had caught the reflection of the two faces in the gla.s.s; her own, red-eyed, pale, with lips dyed with blackberry juice, her curls tangled, her bonnet pulled awry, her gown torn--and contrasted it with Cynthia's brightness and bloom, and the trim elegance of her dress. ”Oh! it is no wonder!” thought poor Molly, as she turned round, and put her arms round Cynthia, and laid her head for an instant on her shoulder--the weary, aching head that sought a loving pillow in that supreme moment! The next she had raised herself, and taken Cynthia's two hands, and was holding her off a little, the better to read her face.
[Ill.u.s.tration: ”OH! IT IS NO WONDER!”]
”Cynthia! you do love him dearly, don't you?”
Cynthia winced a little aside from the penetrating steadiness of those eyes.
”You speak with all the solemnity of an adjuration, Molly!” said she, laughing a little at first to cover her nervousness, and then looking up at Molly. ”Don't you think I've given a proof of it? But you know I've often told you I've not the gift of loving; I said pretty much the same thing to him. I can respect, and I fancy I can admire, and I can like, but I never feel carried off my feet by love for any one, not even for you, little Molly, and I'm sure I love you more than--”
”No, don't!” said Molly, putting her hand before Cynthia's mouth, in almost a pa.s.sion of impatience. ”Don't, don't--I won't hear you--I ought not to have asked you--it makes you tell lies!”
”Why, Molly!” said Cynthia, in her turn seeking to read Molly's face, ”what's the matter with you? One might think you cared for him yourself.”
”I?” said Molly, all the blood rus.h.i.+ng to her heart suddenly; then it returned, and she had courage to speak, and she spoke the truth as she believed it, though not the real actual truth.
”I do care for him; I think you have won the love of a prince amongst men. Why, I am proud to remember that he has been to me as a brother, and I love him as a sister, and I love you doubly because he has honoured you with his love.”
”Come, that's not complimentary!” said Cynthia, laughing, but not ill-pleased to hear her lover's praises, and even willing to depreciate him a little in order to hear more.
”He's well enough, I daresay, and a great deal too learned and clever for a stupid girl like me; but even you must acknowledge he's very plain and awkward; and I like pretty things and pretty people.”
”Cynthia, I won't talk to you about him. You know you don't mean what you are saying, and you only say it out of contradiction, because I praise him. He shan't be run down by you, even in joke.”
”Well, then, we won't talk of him at all. I was so surprised when he began to speak--so--” and Cynthia looked very lovely, blus.h.i.+ng and dimpling up as she remembered his words and looks. Suddenly she recalled herself to the present time, and her eye caught on the leaf full of blackberries--the broad, green leaf, so fresh and crisp when Molly had gathered it an hour or so ago, but now soft and flabby, and dying. Molly saw it, too, and felt a strange kind of sympathetic pity for the poor inanimate leaf.
”Oh! what blackberries! you've gathered them for me, I know!” said Cynthia, sitting down and beginning to feed herself daintily, touching them lightly with the ends of her taper fingers, and dropping each ripe berry into her open mouth. When she had eaten about half she stopped suddenly short.
”How I should like to have gone as far as Paris with him!” she exclaimed. ”I suppose it wouldn't have been proper; but how pleasant it would have been! I remember at Boulogne” (another blackberry), ”how I used to envy the English who were going to Paris; it seemed to me then as if n.o.body stopped at Boulogne, but dull, stupid school-girls.”
”When will he be there?” asked Molly.
”On Wednesday, he said. I'm to write to him there; at any rate he's going to write to me.”
Molly went about the adjustment of her dress in a quiet, business-like manner, not speaking much; Cynthia, although sitting still, seemed very restless. Oh! how much Molly wished that she would go.
”Perhaps, after all,” said Cynthia, after a pause of apparent meditation, ”we shall never be married.”
”Why do you say that?” said Molly, almost bitterly. ”You have nothing to make you think so. I wonder how you can bear to think you won't, even for a moment.”