Part 9 (1/2)
”Until I ask you to come back.”
These were my own words to de Lorgnac, and they rang in my ears as I listened to his footsteps dying away along the pa.s.sage. Would I ever call him back? It was on my tongue to do so as he went; but I held myself in, and began restlessly to pace the room, the dog watching my movements with his grave eyes. I could not bear to have them fixed upon me--those eyes that seemed to have a soul imprisoned behind them, and that were so like, in their honest glance, to those of my husband.
I bent down and stroked the great s.h.a.ggy head.
”If I but knew myself! If I but knew myself!” I called out aloud, and then moved aimlessly towards the window. Here I looked out, but saw nothing of the view, for I was looking into my own heart, and there all was mist and fog. The more I tried to think the more hopeless it all seemed, and it came to me to abandon my position, and, accepting my fate, make the best of circ.u.mstances as other women had done. I could give respect and trust; and as long as my husband knew this, and I looked after his comforts, he would never know that I did not love him. I had seen enough of the world to know how selfishly blind men are in this respect. But de Lorgnac was not as other men. I felt that his keen eye would take in the part I was playing, that his great love for me would penetrate and grasp all my devices, and that he would feel that he had only a wife--not a lover as well. What was this love that I was in doubt about? If it meant absolute sacrifice of myself, then I could give it to no man. If it meant respect, and honour, and a desire for a constant guiding presence about me, then I felt I could give that to Blaise de Lorgnac; but I felt, too, that more was due to him, and it was well to wait--to wait until my heart told me undeniably that I had found its king.
The neigh of a horse, and the clatter of hoofs on stony ground, aroused me. Bending forward over the window, I looked out and saw de Lorgnac and a half dozen mounted men riding out of the courtyard. My husband rode a little in advance, square and erect, his plumeless helmet glittering in the sunlight; but he never gave one backward glance to the window. Even if he thought I was not there, he might have done so; he might have given me the chance. The men who rode behind him seemed stout, strong fellows, though their casques were battered and their cuira.s.ses rusty; and as the last of them went out I recognised la Coquille. I know I had no right to pick and choose for de Lorgnac, but I would have given my right hand not to have seen that swashbuckler riding behind my husband. Such men as he were never employed on honest deeds! With a stamp of my foot I turned from the window and saw Pierre, the old servant, waiting patiently near the door, with a huge bunch of keys on a salver in his hand. As our eyes met he bowed to the ground.
”I did not know it was Madame de Lorgnac who was here until an hour ago,” he said. ”Monsieur le Chevalier has directed that these should be given over to you, and the household is outside awaiting madame's orders.”
Half amused, half embarra.s.sed, I took the keys. I felt sure de Lorgnac had given no such order, but that this was the spontaneous outcome of old Pierre's politeness. Fastening them in my girdle, I said, with as gracious, yet dignified an air as I could a.s.sume, ”Call in the people, please.”
Pierre bowed once more to the ground and vanished to reappear in two minutes with a well-grown youth, and the two stood bolt upright before me. This was the household of de Lorgnac, then. The smile died away from my lips as I thought of the straits to which a gallant gentleman was reduced. ”Pierre,” I said, ”you must add Mousette, my maid, to the household, and see that the good Lalande is well treated,” and I placed a small purse containing a half dozen or so of gold crowns that I happened to have with me in the old man's hands. He held the little silken bag for a moment, and then his face began to flush.
”There is no need, madame; we have enough.”
”You forget, Pierre, what I am giving you is Monsieur le Chevalier's, to whom G.o.d grant a safe return.”
He took the money, though I saw a suspicious swimming of his eyes, and I hastily asked:
”And do those men who rode out with Monsieur belong to the household, too, Pierre?”
”St. Blaise--no, madame! They came here but yesterday morning, and with their leader have drunk and sworn about the place ever since.
They filled the lower hall with disorder; but they are stout fellows, and we had hardly been able to help you so well last night but for them; they follow Monsieur le Chevalier for a little time only.”
I well knew for what purpose, but kept silent on that point, saying, ”And how far is Lorgnac from here?”
”The town you mean, madame?”
”Precisely.”
”At the foot of the hill to the right of the chateau; we cannot see it from here. Ah! it was a fine place until Monsieur de Ganache, and his bandits of Huguenots, came over from La Roche Canillac one fine day and put the place to fire and sword. Monsieur le Chevalier has vowed his death at the shrine of Our Lady of Lorgnac. Ah! he is a devil, is Monsieur de Ganache; he is with the Bearnnois now.”
”And is there any news of the Huguenots moving now?”
”None, madame; but Antoine the peddler of Argentat says that a great lady from Paris is at the Chateau de Canillac, and that Monsieur de Turenne, and many a high lord from the south have been visiting her.
They will be tired of dancing and singing soon, those hot bloods, and we may have to look to the castle walls.”
”This evening, then, you must take me to Lorgnac,” I said with a view to end the conversation.
”It is madame's order, but----” and he stopped short for a second, and then continued, ”Antoine, the peddler's daughter, who married Gribot, the woodman of Lorgnac, has a cow and calf for sale, and there is none in the chateau.”
”Then buy it of her, Pierre,” and with another low bow the old man withdrew with the ”household,” who had evidently been trained in a severe school by Pierre, for he had stood bolt upright like a soldier at attention, and never moved muscle during the whole of the interview.
So my business as mistress of Lorgnac had begun; but there were one or two things that required immediate attention from me before I began my household duties. I called Mousette, and going over the money we had, found that it reached to about a hundred crowns. This was enough for all present requirements, though I would want much more soon, if all the designs that were flitting through my brain, in shadow as it were, were carried out; but that could be easily arranged hereafter. Then I saw Lalande, and informing him that my journey was over, asked if there would be any difficulty in his remaining at Lorgnac for at least a few days, as I wanted his help. He answered that he was at my service, and this being settled, I set about exploring the quaint old mansion, and as I did so all kinds of dreams of changing its cheerless aspect possessed me, and the time pa.s.sed on wings.
In the afternoon we visited the town. Alas! It had been for a century but a hamlet, and all traces of town, if ever there was any, had long gone. But small and poor and obscure as Lorgnac was, the hand of war had not spared it, and blackened rafter and fallen roof still bore witness to Monsieur de Ganache's pitiless visit. Privation and want had left their marks on the faces of the score or so of inhabitants of the village; but when they found out who I was, they came forward eagerly, and a small child, no doubt prompted by her elders, gave me a bouquet of wild flowers, and I went back, vowing in my heart that ere many weeks were over all this would be changed.