Volume 8 Chapter 9 (1/2)
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After that, shi+mako decided to come and help out
But that didn'tchats over tea that were our everyday activities
She wasn't the type to get ahead of herself Yoshi+no-chan or Sachiko would call on her e really needed help and she would respond You could say she drew a clean distinction between the two activities At any rate, her approach to the Yamayurikai was clearly different to that of a bouton or their petit soeur
June
With May over, and so too the Maria cere ceremony, the Yamayurikai didn't have any public events scheduled and had entered into a relatively quiet period where we started preparing for the sports carnival and school festival in autumn
”So given that, why are you dragging shi+mako in?”
I jabbed at Youko one day For the first ti lunch in the Rose Mansion
”No real reason”
Youko smoothly sidestepped the question
”She's nobody's petit soeur, so you shouldn't be bringing her in during the planning stage”
shi+mako was an assistant we inevitably turned to when short of hands - that was the expedient Youko used to bring her in to the Rose Mansion
”But given our current situation, we'll have to get her to help out with the school festival So the sooner we get her involved the better, right? Ahh, right We'll need help with the Hanadera Academy cultural festival too My petit soeur's such a troubleso to do with an event at a boys' school shi+ to become more and more important”
What Youko said was true Although I had a sneaking suspicion it was a justification she'd made up after the fact
”But besides that, Sei, don't you want to improve the ”current situation?””
The current situation The phrase she used to point out that while I was the white Rose, I did not have a petit soeur People who did not fulfill all their responsibilities did not have the right to find fault with others Indeed, if I did have a petit soeur, then there would be no need to ask shi+mako
”You know, Youko, your personality really has taken a turn for the worse”
”What choice do I have, given how rebellious ?”
Youko really did have a sharp tongue Despite her good manners, she was caustic towards me Maybe ere alike in that only our surface appearance was good
Looking at it that way, Sachiko was also veryRei was almost idiotically honest, so her surface and her inside were the same, but Yoshi+no-chan, hmm, she looked like a bit of a lion at home and a mouse abroad
shi+mako was -I had a think about it, but didn't really know It didn't feel like I'd ever caught a glimpse of what lay beneath her surface
”That girl does that a lot”
Youko said, looking out the
”That girl?”
I asked, then looked out the here Youko pointed It was shi+ a stack of printouts, probably either committee work or because she was on duty today
”I did think about her becoo would be such a waste”
”How so?”
”You haven't considered her as a Rose? Losing her would be a great loss to the Yamayurikai”
A loss to the Yamayurikai I smiled bitterly So sorry to bother you Youko was even worried about as going to happen after she'd graduated
”Even though you've given up onher my petit soeur?”
”I wouldn't say I've given up - ”
shi+ and Youko shut theand turned to face me
”But there are other ways”
”Other ways, huh”
At that ti to try and persuade shi+mako to run in the election in February of next year I had no petit soeur The annual student council elections usually took the form of a vote of confidence in the boutons, but if the current situation continued then the caantea could turn into a fierce contest
If that happened, ould shi+ht like that
(Pity?)
A strange emotion I orried about shi+mako
(Right)
Certainly, I felt concern for shi+mako Or, to put it another way, I was charmed by her - but it didn't feel like it should be bundled up that neatly
At the very least, the feelings I had for shi+ emotions I'd felt towards shi+ori
As an example, they did share many co hair, as well as being neat and beautiful But that wasn't what had charmed me
I wanted the entirety of shi+ori, and to give myself entirely to her Our relationshi+p ended when it became obvious that that wish couldn't come true shi+ori was the first to realize it So, for us to keep living, we had to separate
Thinking about it now, shi+ori was el It was fundamentally iround
In that regard, shi+mako was a human
I watched shi+mako from a short distance away
That alone was enough
Before I knew it, it had even beco
shi+mako
Being addressed in thatto me
Not shi+mako-san or shi+mako-chan Just plain shi+mako
With the exception of my fellow first-year Yoshi+no-san, everyone in the Rose Mansion called roup every time they called me that, even if it was only temporary
Rosa Gigantea was the first to call me ”shi+mako”
It started with Rosa Chinensis taking a jab at her, saying, ”Not using an honorific, even though she's not your petit soeur?” to which Rosa Gigantea had gloomily responded with, ”Well, everyone should call her that” Sachiko-sama faithfully followed that directive and eventually they all settled on addressing me that way
In every group, there were generally rules that governed how the members addressed each other If everyone just did whatever they wanted, it would be chaos
Take Yoshi+no-san as an exarades and ”Yoshi+no-san” by students in the sarade as her Her onee-sama, Rei-sama, was the only one that called her ”Yoshi+no”
As an example, if ”-san” or ”-chan” were attached to my name, then I would probably always be seen as an interloper By calling me shi+h I was everyone's petit soeur Even though I had no specific onee-sama
I liked my time in the Rose Mansion
I liked each and every one of the ”Rose families” that formed the Yamayurikai executive
Consequently, I'd occasionally forget roup Because there was such a gentle, co atmosphere
My i on the situation She was solib and soh all this, she remained consistently conscious of me
Whenever I was doing so, I'd look over antea was there Even when she wasn't looking atat me in a foul mood No matter when
I wonder why I found it cal
It was, figuratively speaking, as though ere kindred spirits, and I could feel relaxed siaveI wasn't alone
In early suantea in the courtyard after school
She was iven it
”Do you like cats?”
I quietly asked her from behind
It took a lot of courage for antea, but I felt compelled to
”Yeah, I do I like most animals”
”Even snakes and worms?”
”I suppose”
Rosa Gigantea scratched the cat's head with her index finger The cat purred happily
”As long as we respect the others' territory, we should be able to coexist”
”Coexist?”
”Yep”
The cat looked too old to be called a kitten, but it didn't look like it was fully grown either It was a blackish tabby with patches of furscars that were still healing
”Even the crows that attacked her would have had their reasons Maybe they had hungry children of their own”
Neither was in the wrong, they were just two different species trying to live Rosa Gigantea mumbled that that was all it was
”It may just be selfishness, but I don't want to witness any loss over it, I know full well that killing and dying are a fixture of this world”
I wondered whether Rosa Gigantea counted humans as one of the animal species that she liked Occasionally, when she sleepily looked out theat the row of green trees, I got the sense she was longing to be in a place as far away from any humans as possible
I had the feeling that Rosa Gigantea would reject me simply because I was a human
”What are you going to do with this cat?”
The cat looked like it would be skittish, but when I reached outme pat it
”Nothing much”
Then Rosa Gigantea smiled and made a bad joke about how she couldn't sell its skin to a shamisen maker because of the wounds
”But, you're feeding it, right?”
”I shouldn't feed it?”
”I' you shouldn't, but … ”
I didn't knohat I wanted to say I didn't know, but I couldn't say nothing to Rosa Gigantea
”If it gets used to being fed, it won't survive on its own”
”I see”
”And what about su to stay here for the ten or twenty years that this cat will live for, right?”
Was I projecting ined the cat as the faithful dog Hachiko, continuing to wait for Rosa Gigantea long after she'd graduated
”Won't yourrun?”
No Even I didn't think it would have been better if it had been eaten by the crows
”As the wounds accumulate”
Rosa Gigantea smiled fondly I turned my head and rubbed beneath my eyes with the back of my hand so she wouldn't see my tears
”I suppose Maybe it was cruel of me, like you said But she's still just a child Her wounds have finally healed now So I think ence of her with an afternoon snack is so I do all the time”
Because the cat would soe where it could hunt for itself When that happened, was she intending to coolly let it go?
But was that really okay? The cat will surely reantea's hand for the rest of its life It would never be able to forget the taste of the dry, crackly, biscuit-like pet food
”Meeting and parting are a matched set Sooner or later, the time to part will come But to avoid relationshi+ps because you're afraid of that is a bit desolate, don't you think? … For me, shi+mako”
Rosa Gigantea braced her right cuff with her left hand
”I'ave me all the love she had There's no way I could resent her for leaving while I stayed One way or the other, I can still keep on living at this school without her”
I caught a glimpse of what looked like a rosary near the cuff of her summer uniform
At the ti myself that, rather than anyone else
”Things like re married for life are, in and of themselves, miraculous”
I wasn't sure how shi+mako would take that
Soon enough summer vacation arrived
I spent that long summer vacation like any other student Since I wasn't thinking at all about exams, I didn't have any summer lessons
I ith Youko to visit Sachiko at her house when invited, and pulled an all-nighter watching s, like homework, when the mood struck me
On top of that
Perhaps feeling the sting of shi+mako's words, I took some cat food to the school courtyard a nueneral it was soht
I'd leave a s, out of the rain It would be gone the next tin that the cat was alive and eating the food
Even if the pet food was being eaten by some other animal, that wouldn't have really bothered me either
With the sue I caught wind of a strange rumor
That shi+ to be Sachiko's petit soeur
”What's theof this?”
During a break, I went to Sachiko's classroom and pressed her for an answer But this was Sachiko, so she regardediciness
”Why should I listen to your coantea?”
”Huh?”
”I didn't think I needed anyone's permission to choose a petit soeur”