Volume 3 Chapter 7 (1/2)
As time passed, shi+ori meant more and more to me
September, where the shadow of summer had not yet fully receded
I had trouble adapting to the peaceful day-by-days, despite the fact that it hadn't changed since before the break This cah su Because ere in different grades, our tiether was limited, no matter how close to each other ere Whenever I beca about shi+ori all through class, too
Naturally, I began wishi+ng I could melt into shi+ori, to be absorbed into her
What is this feeling?
What lies in wait at the end of this path, as I want more and more for someone else?
I couldn't understand as different about this feeling from a heterosexual relationshi+p
I loved shi+ori'sto encase the valuable good
But I became confused
I want to be with shi+ori
I don't want to let go of shi+ori
I want to become one with shi+ori
What is this feeling?
I read through tons of romance stories Maybe there would be someone that understood how I felt, and could explain how I felt But in the end, it simply made me despise books
Even the most masterful of stories were simply textbooks about events that had occurred to the author
I read stories about homosexual love, but my ansas still never to be found
Then I began reading books about biology, and about reproduction
In the end, all I thought was that, ht inside me had broken If heterosexual love is born out of the desire to produce children, then how about our relationshi+p, where it was ienes and produce a child? Why are we so drawn to each other? I didn't know
Even the ht about not being a girl, but I began seriously questioning why gender exists
I seriously, seriously envied the hermaphrodite worms
Without an answer, the season turned its page to the school festival, so I began attending the s at the Rose Mansion
Despite wanting to be together, shi+ori was needed by her class to work on their exhibit, so she was always stuck in her classroo to boycott my class for shi+ori, I couldn't request the other way around That said, I wasn't interested in helping my class with their exhibit either, so I killed ti around caht ed me to the Rose Mansion
”If you're not doing anything, come help”
The onee-sa about my usual attitude While they probably had tons they wanted to say, theywith people whom I'd been with every day Everyone at the Rose Mansion acted this way
On one hand ittoo considerate, so I had trouble accepting their feelings Anyways, I went to the Rose Mansion on a daily basis to kill time
Attending the s for the school festival preparation wasn't as boring as I expected
That sharp, perfect Ogasawara Sachiko was actually extremely hateful of boys, and Hasekura Rei, Eriko's little sister, actually was a lot irl than she looked, and I enjoyedwith the true personalities of the first-years
That's when I thought
In truth, it's supposed to be unacceptable that Rosa Gigantea en bouton doesn't have a sœur by this point While I would have flat-out refused, if people'd tried to force me, no one bothered to ful stare Onee-sa for me, but I didn't kno to repay it
Once, I suggested to onee-sama that she should cut ties withshi+ori e voith another person just for show
”No”
Onee-sahed once and rejected
”I'randchild once I don't care who becoantea after you But please don't break our pro to be by my side”
If I became a third-year and had no sister, I'd just cross that bridge when I got to it, onee-sama said, as she played with my hair So there's no need to fret yourself Just walk the path you chose
Everyone had gone home by the time we had that conversation, and onee-saain I realized hoorthy onee-saantea” I didn't think I'd be able to say such kind words when I became a third-year
The school festival ended peacefully, and the Yamayurikai-sponsored play received favorable opinions
I resurabbed me in the hallway
”What?”
”Oh don't look at ”
You're not? I ihed, bitterly
”You seem to hate me quite a bit … Well, I don't blame you I'antea”
”What part of you is clumsy?”
Meddlesome, mannered, honor student, beautiful She looked like a complete mistress, and she still claimed to be clumsy with other people?
”Come with me, just this once”
Without waiting for an answer, Youko began walking I still had time before I was to meet shi+ori So I reluctantly followed her
”Do you remember what I said before?”
Confir there was no one in the area, Youko invited me into the courtyard
”Another sermon?”
I expected it, but it killedto me about shi+ori, and when it was Youko, for soonized me the most
”I said before that you should keep your distance”
”Did you”
”I still think it No, rather, I feel stronger about it, now You should cool your head and re-think your intimacy with shi+ori-san”
It felt a bit lonely in the courtyard The flowers that were so vibrant during spring and suone, and only the wild chrysanthemum floere in scarce bloom
”You don't know anything about us”
It was just meant as a short check, what I told Youko
”Then, what do you know about shi+ori-san?”
I stu the counter
”What…”
I knew shi+ori's pure soul, her clear, striking voice, her divine face -What more did I need to know?
”It o any further”
”Yes, it is a bother Why're you telling me this, anyways?”
”Because I don't want to see you get hurt”
Youko said so completely unexpected I didn't understand why that would cross her mind Me, hurt? How?
”It looks toto shi+ori-san Have you two even talked about the future? shi+ori-san is probably strong, so it's alright for her, but Sei, have you even thought about the daone?”
”Future? shi+ori gone?”
Youko began saying phrase after phrase, like she was a jack-in-the-box, surprising ain
Indeed, we'd never talked about the future
But at the very least, our relationshi+p would be unchanged during school As long as ent to the Lillian university after high school, we could stay together I would be able to see shi+ori every day If shi+ori wanted to attend a different school, I could take the exao there, too
As long as we lived like that, eventually we'd hopefully find an answer to our relationshi+p I was procrastinating my answer for five years
”You really haven't been told anything, have you”
Youko's tone began shi+fting from sympathy to bewilder sy behind my back
”What do you mean”
”After graduating high school, shi+ori-san is to enter a convent How do you not know this?”