Part 18 (1/2)

Once he saw that his wife was mounted and prepared to follow him, Ross turned Lady Gay toward the trees and gave her the command for speed, as if flight could free him of that which was driving him, sunder his weakness from him.

The man did not draw rein or slacken pace until he came to that high place where he and Eveleen had stood together so many months before. He dismounted there and waited for her on the crest.

The world below and around him was wonderful with the gentle sunlight and soft, pale greens of a still young spring, but no trace of its joy touched him.

He heard the weapons expert's buck approach and halt near Lady Gay but did not turn to watch her.

He felt rather than saw her come up beside him.

Eveleen waited quietly for some seconds to give him an opportunity to collect himself, but he seemed unable to begin.

”Ross,” she said softly in the end, ”please let me try to help. I can't bear to see you torturing yourself like this.”

He did not respond at first but finally shrugged. ”As I told you before, I thought I had a proper spine. It appears I don't.”

”Ross...”

He turned to her. ”When we were here the last time, I asked you to stay with me.”

”Yes. Now you don't want to remain?”

His eyes closed. ”Heart, mind, and soul!” He pressed the fingers of his hands against the lids until the pressure became painful. ”It's Sapphirehold that I want, Eveleen, and I can't have that. What I said to Allran was right. I am a mercenary, and soon there'll be nothing more for me to do here, no place for me.”

Suddenly, the too-bright eyes fixed on her. ”You knew it'd be like this, or Gordon did?”

Her head lowered. ”If it was Sapphirehold itself and not Dominion in general that was drawing you, yes. We were hoping for the last, Ross. Both of us wanted you to be spared learning that part of a mercenary's existence, at least for a while.”

Her eyes raised again and met his. ”You can still make it in that work. You're good, and with any kind of luck at all, you'd win a Commandant's rank in a very few years.”

His mouth twisted. ”I find something basically unappealing about battering my fellow creatures for fun and profit.” He scowled. ”I seem to require a genuine purpose for what I do.”

Murdock shrugged. ”I couldn't stay anyway. I blew it, or we blew it, here, where folks were sympathetic to us. It'd happen again, and maybe Terra'd get wiped out as a result. We'd most likely disappear ourselves at that point, and everything we'd managed to accomplish thus far would probably be undone as well.”

Ross sighed deeply. ”No, Eveleeni EA Riordan,” he said wearily, purposely stressing the Dominionite version of her name. ”It's back to Terra and no rank or reputation for both of us. I think I've known that for a long time and just haven't had the guts to face it.”

The Time Agent's eyes were dark, somber. He had surrendered the land and the place in it that he loved, and soon he would probably lose the rest as well.

There was no point in postponing that break if it must come. ”Does our relations.h.i.+p still stand?” he demanded bluntly.

”What the h.e.l.l do you think I am, Ross Murdock?” the woman flared, fury blazing from voice, face, and body in equal measure.

”I don't think you're a fool,” he snapped coolly. ”We could've made it big here, really carved out something for ourselves. That won't be true back home. Plain Ross Murdock's no prize, and I just want it clear that you've got an out. I won't try to chain you...”

”I fell in love with 'plain Ross Murdock' long before Firehand raised his head... Or maybe you're the one who's thinking he hasn't made so marvelous a match. I won't bring you any great glory or fatten your bank account on Terra, either.”

”No!”

His anger was sufficient reb.u.t.tal to that fear, and Eveleen's eyes slitted as her lips curved into a hunter's smile. ”I'm so far from wanting out of our partners.h.i.+p, my Dear, that I've got every intention of redoing the ceremony according to Terran specifications as soon as I can arrange to have it performed.”

”You what?”

The woman's face remained impa.s.sive for several seconds, then she took pity on him and laughed softly. ”No standing at the altar rail dressed like an undertaker,” she promised, ”but the church service is important, and so's the presence of my father and brother... Ross?”

Murdock knew he would agree. This really did mean a great deal to her. h.e.l.l, he would have given in had she asked for the whole show. ”Whatever you want, Lieutenant. I don't mind the idea of showing off that I've won a most beautiful woman.”

Murdock kissed her softly, then turned toward their mounts. ”We'd best be getting back. There's a lot to be done yet before we have to call for a pickup.”

The three months that followed pa.s.sed in a blur of activity, but at last, Ross Murdock stood once more on the narrow crest. The heart in him felt dead and heavy enough to drag him down to the planet's core. Soon now, the chopper would come, and he would lose this beauty, lose everything it represented, for all the rest of his life.

Gordon was beside him. He said nothing, but his hand rested on his friend's shoulder, its pressure firm and warm.

”I'm glad I spoke up for Karara,” the younger man said suddenly.

”She was lucky.” Ashe's eyes rested on him. ”I am, too, I guess. I'm deeply sorry this didn't work out for you, Ross, but I value our friends.h.i.+p. I didn't want to lose it.”

The other forced the shadow of a smile. ”Breaking in a new partner has to be a pain.”

”A royal pain... I'd have missed Eveleen, too. She'll be one major a.s.set to our team in the future.”

Gordon caught his sharp look. ”I doubt she'll be sent back to the cla.s.sroom. She's too good.”

Murdock glanced downslope to the place where his wife was waiting. She had not been sure enough of her control following their parting with Luroc I Loran and their springdeer to stay with her comrades.

His eyes closed. That severing had been as painful as the wound that had so nearly finished him...

The Ton of Sapphirehold alone had been told of the off-worlders' imminent departure and had insisted on accompanying them most of the way to the rise, as far as they dared permit him to come. When he had turned back, he had taken the mounts who had served them so well, promising that all three would be left to run free with the breeding herd, never again to be brought by humankind into danger and certainly never to be set to heavy labor. They, too, had served Sapphirehold with uncommon valor, and the domain was prepared to honor them for it even if it was to be prevented from honoring those they had so often borne.

Ross's head lifted sharply. There was a sound, distant yet but clear, in Dominion's still air.

Grief twisted in him, so sharp that he feared for a moment that he would not be able to master it. He turned to the archeologist in desperation. ”It'll be just a quick jump once we reach the gate, won't it, only a shot to our own time and then aboard s.h.i.+p and home? We won't have to stay there?”

”Don't you want to know if we succeeded?” Ashe asked in surprise.

”We'll be told that. -This is the Dominion I want to remember, not a tamed, citified, modern planet with Luroc, Allran, and all the others so long dust that not even a memory of them remains, as if they had never lived at all.”

Gordon looked closely, carefully, at him. ”Yes,” he said quietly. ”I agree with you. I'll see that it's arranged.”

31.

THE TIME AGENTS stepped through the gate into the age in which they had been born.

They found themselves inside a building of some sort. Ross resolutely turned toward the door but then stopped, as if frozen or held by some powerful compulsion. ”We-I have to go there,” he said abruptly, ”to Sapphirehold or what used to be Sapphirehold.”

Gordon looked sharply at him. ”You said...”