Part 13 (1/2)

On the other hand, there was very little that the crew could do in the dark with what amounted to a group of kids. And, frankly, all of them were worn out. Oh, the soldiers among them had toughed out worse things than this for longer periods of time, but trying to figure out who was out to kill them next could really wear a body out.

On the way to his room, Lasher pa.s.sed by Bronse's. He entertained doing a situation evaluation with his boss for all of ten seconds, but the soft feminine cry that eddied past the door quickly brought him up short with surprised and outright disbelief. He'd known the commander for a long time. He'd seen the unusual way he was taken with the high priestess of the temple, and had found that baffling enough on its own, but this ... this was something totally different. This proved just how much Bronse's head was not in the game.

Masin couldn't help the bemused smile that toyed at his lips. As a soldier, he supposed that Bronse's activities should really disturb him. For one, it was a huge violation of on-mission behavior expectation. Second, this kind of distraction could really affect the commander's motivations when making decisions.

But the fact of the matter was that this was a mission unlike any other. This was a woman unlike any other. Her abilities alone were simply astounding. All of the psionics they had seen displayed by the Chosen Ones were far out of the scope of anyone's experience. It did change the rules a bit. Especially when one of them could see things coming in a way that no soldier ever could.

Then there was Masin's viewpoint as Bronse's friend. He'd never before seen the man show such partiality toward a woman. Even when he'd stumbled onto Liely, Bronse had never been swept up in what he was feeling to the point where he'd forgotten himself. As a soldier this should scare the s.h.i.+t out of Lasher, but as a friend it was refres.h.i.+ng to experience it. And now, by the sound of it, Bronse had taken things with Rave to a whole new level. It was baffling, amusing, and frightening all at once. In the span of a single day, this woman had managed to get under Chapel's skin. On the one hand, Lasher couldn't understand how that was even possible. On the other hand, it was nice to see Bronse acting like a human being for a change.

Lasher was giving himself a headache as he stood there thinking himself into nice concentric circles, so he moved on to the room he'd been a.s.signed. It was a functional and even cozy twelve by twelve s.p.a.ce with a roomy bed covered with soft furs to keep out the cold wilderness air. It was ten times as luxurious as what he was used to while on-mission, and it looked like a little slice of heaven. He undressed his vest and his weapons belt, the antic.i.p.ation of his bed making him more tired.

He had just begun to crawl onto his bed when a rapid, panicked sounding, two-fisted knock banged against his door. He was wide awake and hurrying across the room in an instant, yanking open the door.

He was surprised to find Ophelia there and not Justice or Ender. Then again, neither of them would have bothered to knock. The delicate little blonde was wide-eyed and frantic, fear written starkly over her features. The minute he opened the door to her, she threw herself against him in a clinching hug that squeezed the breath right out of him. Stunned but still alert, he grabbed hold of her arms and demanded, ”What is it? What's happened?”

”I can't find Ravenna!” The girl was bordering on hysteria, her eyes br.i.m.m.i.n.g with tears. ”Not anywhere!”

Masin winced when he recalled why that was and wondered if it was his place to tell a sixteen-year-old girl about her sister's s.e.xual business.

”Why do you need Ravenna? Did something happen?”

”I had such a horrible dream! So terrible! People were sick and dying all around me and they kept clawing at me, grabbing me, demanding I help heal them. But I couldn't. I was so exhausted and there was no way for me to save them all.”

A nightmare? Masin exhaled with some relief. As far as he knew, Ophelia was just a healer. There was nothing prophetic about her. And it didn't take a shrink to understand that Ophelia was always afraid of not being able to do enough for those in need. In fact, she had no sense of self-regulation. She would probably burn herself out if given half the chance. And, in a certain light, he could understand the feeling. It was hard not to help when you knew how but your body just didn't have it to follow through. It was something that men in his profession had to face all the time.

”Honey, it was just a dream,” he tried to rea.s.sure her, feeling like he was failing when she began sobbing. Still, he didn't want to send her off crying to others, like maybe her hotheaded brother Kith, about how she could not find Rave. Worse would be if she did find her and then proved not to have any discretion. He didn't think she would be that way, but he wasn't willing to risk any altercations between Bronse and the other men in the temple. It was clear how protective they were of one another, and Kith at least would burst a vessel if he caught the two of them together. Luckily for Bronse, the kid had been preoccupied with one of the serving girls earlier and wouldn't likely be looking for Rave.

With protecting his commander on his mind, Masin drew Ophelia into his room and shut the door. He sat her on his bed, taking a moment to wipe away her tears with his fingertips and cradle that frightened elfin face in his hands.

”It's all right,” he rea.s.sured her. ”I won't let anything bad happen to you tonight.”

She looked up at him with those incredibly huge eyes of hers, and he felt a knee-jerk response of anger over her vulnerability. Ravenna was the only one he had seen behave protectively of her. The boys in the temple had treated her much more matter-of-factly, as if she were required to do their bidding and fulfill the healing needs of those around her regardless of what it might cost her. On some level, she had to be aware of that. She had to know there was little to no protection for her in this place. What had it been like for her without Rave to s.h.i.+eld her? To care for her? No wonder she had sought her sister for comfort on her first night back at the temple.

”Really?” she asked, looking so starkly in need of rea.s.surance. ”You have no idea what it's been like here without Rave.”

But he could easily imagine.

”What has it been like without Rave?”

”Well,” she sniffled, ”so many people came to her seeking something, some kind of rea.s.surances about their future or help counseling them about their lives. She can see the past, present, and future, you know.”

”No, I didn't know.”

”She helps people with their marriages, their family relations.h.i.+ps. She helps them understand the difference between the right and wrong of what they are doing. She brings them so much clarity, and they depend on her greatly. I think that's one reason why it was so shocking that they would betray her. They were so shortsighted about it. They didn't realize just how much she did for them. All they wanted was to ensure that the s.h.i.+asha would not raid the village. They thought they could placate the warlord by gifting him with Kith and Rave. It might have worked, but it really was terribly shortsighted, don't you think? It would be only a matter of time before the s.h.i.+asha would reconsider. Or after tasting the powers of the Chosen Ones, he might then want the rest of us. As it is, there is no way for us to ever live here safely again. If you had not come along, I don't know what we would have done. When I think of what could have become of us ...” She trailed off and shuddered delicately.

”If Ravenna can see so much, how did she not know about them coming to take her and Kith?” he found himself asking.

”She sensed that something was going to happen, but without reading someone directly for the clearest vision, she really is limited in what she knows. It's a capricious ability sometimes. It's always hard to read one's own future.”

”I see.”

”And when she was gone, everyone was coming to me and Vivienne, trying to replace their need for her with us. People come to me with all manner of illness, and I know how to fix that. But I cannot heal a broken heart or shattered trust. When they come to me for that, I have to turn them away. I don't know what to do, so I have to turn them away!”

Ophelia was so upset by her perceived failure that she began to cry again. It tore at Lasher to see her beating herself up for things she couldn't control. Wanting to comfort her, he drew her into his arms and hugged her close to his chest. He had a sister close to her age, one who had the luxury of a concerned and caring big brother, whom she often took advantage of in their communiques. Because he was rarely at home and traveled out of touch so much, he would often come back to base and find a long list of letters from her. She would write to him about everything; he was a distant confidant she could always count on even if he wasn't immediately able to respond.

Ophelia's older brother was far too self-centered a little b.a.s.t.a.r.d for her to turn to. Lasher wanted to excuse him just by virtue of his immaturity, but it went deeper than that. Kith was as spoiled as they came.

Masin waited until Ophelia grew quiet. He simply sat there and enjoyed the flowery smell of her hair and the way the young had of being able to hug someone to within an inch of their life. Then, after a while, he pulled back.

”You should get back to bed. We're going to have a long day tomorrow.”

”Oh! No! Please don't make me,” she begged him. She crawled all the way onto the bed, nearly sitting on the pillow beside him and clinging to the headboard. He tried not to smile when he realized that she intended to force her way into staying, as if her slender little arms could hold on against him if the two of them went in a head-to-head contest of strength. ”I'll never be able to sleep anyway. And if I did, I'd just have another terrible dream. I want to stay here with you.”

She punctuated the point by pulling up a corner of the cover and drawing it over herself. ”I'll go to sleep and I won't be any bother. You won't even know I'm here.”

He doubted that. Ophelia was one of those people who, as small as she was, would always have a dynamic presence. She would always leave a mark wherever she went.

”I don't think that's a very good idea,” he told her. ”Your family would pitch a fit if they caught you in here.” Not to mention what Bronse would do.

”They won't care,” she said, the bitterness in her voice telling him just how aware she was of the callousness of the men around her. ”They never care about me. Only Rave cares about me, and I know she wouldn't mind. She likes you. All of you.”

”That isn't the point,” Masin hedged, finding it difficult to look into those big, liquid eyes of hers and think clearly about what was the right thing for him to do.

After all, it wasn't as though he was taking advantage of her. Sure, she was sixteen, a beautiful young woman by anyone's standards, but she was much too young to ever interest him. The idea was preposterous. But she d.a.m.n well reminded him of his sister too much for him to resist her fearful vulnerability for long.

”Look, I'll sit up and keep an eye out. You can sleep. But I'm going to wake you in a few hours so you can go back to your own bed, got it?”

”Oh, yes. I understand. Thank you!” She hugged him around his neck fast and tight, and then snuggled down beneath the covers. Masin leaned back against the headboard and watched her as she drifted off to sleep.

Ravenna stirred. Bronse was very unused to sleeping with someone, so she woke him with her restlessness for the third time. She was sprawled over his body, her cheek pressed to his heart, her arms flung out in opposite directions, and a leg insinuated around one of his. He touched his hand to her back, instinctively trying to soothe her with his touch. It seemed that every time she fell asleep, she began to dream fitfully. It worried him, considering all she had been through lately.

He tucked a hand into her hair, fondling the strands absently as he stared up at the ceiling through the darkness. It had probably been wrong for him to take her to bed in the face of all the trauma and life changes she'd been pushed through recently, but in his heart he couldn't make himself feel guilt or regret or even the smallest flash of conscience. She belonged in his arms.

Bronse held his breath at the possessive thought. He consciously controlled his breathing-since his chest was currently fulfilling the role of her pillow-not wanting her disturbed any more than she already was. He had learned long ago that he had no right to make any demands on a woman, and to be honest he'd never had any trouble with that. His one exception, his marriage, had turned out to be a disaster, and he wasn't willing to go through that again. He'd been devastated on a personal level by that failure. Not because he'd been attached to Liely, though. He'd felt as if he'd failed the code of the exceptional men in his family by ruining their track record of long, fulfilling marriages.

His father had been quick to point out that one failed marriage and the future ability to have a relations.h.i.+p were not exclusive to each other. His mother had agreed. They felt that he had settled with Liely because he hadn't thought he'd do better, and he hadn't expected better. A strange realization, considering his penchant for perfectionism, Bronse thought. But Masin had told Bronse his own theories about that as well. Although the brain, Masin had said, looks for perfection, the heart is what actually finds it. Bronse had used his brain when selecting Liely, using rationale and balancing pros and cons. Love had never entered the equation.

It was odd that Bronse, of all people, should make such a mistake. He'd had something that a great many people never had. Perfect examples of love and its enduring qualities. And friends like Justice and Ender, who had grown up so cruelly in worlds so lacking in love, had shown him how fortunate he was. As hard as Bronse had worked for his calling, he had been given the luxury of being perfectly nurtured and groomed for it. Jus and Rush had struggled every inch of the way, making themselves their only source of support. It was what made them so close to one another. Bronse knew that he and Masin with their experience in love and close family, and Justice and Rush and their family deprivation, all combined to make a new family with a mesh of loyalty that couldn't be broken.

Where would Ravenna fit into such a family?

That was another shock to Bronse's system. These were very personal, intimate thoughts, and his mind told him that it was far too soon to consider these questions.

Ravenna moaned softly in her sleep, her arm twitching until her hand dropped onto his chest next to her nose. It brought his attention back to her. The previous two times this had happened, his comforting had woken her, and they had ended up making love again. Knowing already that he wanted her still, he refused to wake her. He had gone well beyond all chivalrous intentions tonight as it was. She was too new to this intimacy to take his pa.s.sion so often without repercussions. She was going to be sore come the morning, and that was bad enough on its own. He didn't want to compound her discomfort any more than he already had.

So much for all his proclamations of honor and integrity. He'd behaved like an adolescent, completely lacking in self-control. Even as an adolescent, he had actually shown more discretion. Ravenna simply blew his mind. She was beyond even his experiences, both in and out of bed.

She s.h.i.+fted restlessly against him, making a distressed sound that tore at his heart. Her opposite hand drew in as well, sliding beneath his neck and grasping him lightly in her sleep.

Suddenly she jerked, and he looked quickly at her face. Her eyes moved rapidly behind her lids. She seemed to be dreaming, only something was wrong. It felt different, felt wrong and distressing to him somehow. She jerked harder, crying out in a sound of terror that chilled him. He brought both hands to her shoulders, determined to stop this torture, when she suddenly jolted awake on her own.