Part 18 (1/2)

IT WAS KAREN. I didn't know what to do first, throw her out or ask her how the h.e.l.l she got inside my house. Before I could wrap my mind around any words at all, she spoke.

”Did you miss me, baby? Are you surprised?” She smiled in what I had once considered a seductive manner. Now, I found that it made me slightly nauseated.

”Disturbed is more like it! How did you get in here, Karen? Do you realize you are guilty of breaking and entering, not to mention trespa.s.sing?” I could feel my blood starting to boil as I struggled to keep a handle on my rage. I flicked on the light switch by the door, bathing the room in light.

”Honey! Aren't you glad to see me? I thought you would have missed me?” Karen leaned back against the pillows as I made a mental note to throw them out.

”I'm not your 'honey' and no, I'm not glad to see you,” I growled at her.

”Why, Chloe, I swear I have no idea why you're so upset! I just wanted to surprise you. I'm thinking of moving back in to the area and I thought we could work things out.”

”What's the matter, Karen? Someone dump you? You can't come running back here after all this time and expect me to be waiting for you.” I knew I was acting like a b.i.t.c.h but she deserved no better from me. ”Besides, we weren't working remember? You told me you weren't happy with me and I still remember you in bed with that guy! Did you think I would have forgotten that?”

She rose up from the bed, confusion written all over her face. ”I can't believe you're being so hateful! After all we shared?”

I shouted, ”I'm sorry, do you not remember arranging for a new job and moving across the country and telling me about it less than a week before you left? I know I wasn't a perfect partner, but I deserved better than that.”

I took a deep breath and lowered my voice. ”You walked out without a word or hint that you were upset until I found the two of you together. You took what you wanted, left no forwarding address, and I haven't heard from you in over four years. You made your choice long ago, and I wasn't what you chose.”

Karen lowered her head and had the decency to look embarra.s.sed. In a quiet voice she replied, ”You're right. I know you're right. You didn't deserve what I did to you back then. I was pretty messed up by not being able to have a baby. I thought leaving was the answer but the problems followed me. I went into therapy and learned a lot of things, Chloe. One of which was that I regretted the way I acted and the way I treated you. Is there any way you could forgive me? Could we try again?”

”I'm glad you got the help you needed, Karen. But there is no way we are going to try again. I have someone very special in my life now, someone I love with all of me. I wish you luck in the future but it won't be here or with me. Now, I need to ask you to leave and not come back.”

She pulled on the clothes she had left on the floor, her eyes never leaving my face. She looked sad and part of me, a small part, still wanted to go over and put my arms around her to make her feel better. Thankfully, the majority of me was smart enough to stay in the doorway. Karen blew out the candles as she made her way towards the door and I backed into the hallway.

”I'm sorry, Chloe, I really am sorry. I made a lot of mistakes and this one cost me more than you know.” We walked down the staircase and headed for the door. She turned to me, a quiver in her lips and tears in her eyes. ”I'm glad you're doing so well. I'm glad you're happy too. I'm just sorry I blew my chance with you. Can you ever forgive me for the way I acted?”

I blew out a breath and examined my feelings. I was amazed, but the truth was, I no longer harbored any real anger or hurt in connection with Karen. ”Karen, you are forgiven. We both made mistakes and we just didn't fit each other well. I think we both learned things that will help us but you need to accept that our time is over.”

She offered a shy smile. ”Thanks, Chloe. I'm sorry for barging in, and for a.s.suming that you weren't already taken. I thought if I just tried, it would work this time. I'll leave you to your new life. Be safe and be happy.”

She threw her arms around me for a hug that happened so quickly I didn't have time to react. She left quickly and I watched her get into a car I hadn't recognized across the street. I closed the door, and leaned against it for a moment, taking time to ground and center myself after the shock of the afternoon. Once that was done, I headed upstairs to change the sheets and discard the pillows. It may have been overkill, but I knew I would feel better with all traces of Karen gone from our bedroom.

”Honey, I'm home!” I heard Caity call as I tossed the sheets in the dryer in the bas.e.m.e.nt. About d.a.m.n time, since you made me promise to leave work to get home, I thought. I realized that I was just grumpy from dealing with Karen so I let it drop. I tromped up the steps to see Caity and find out where she had been for so long.

When I got upstairs I was greeted by a bouquet of flowers, my favorite flowers in fact, tiger lilies. ”Thanks! Were we sharing a brain today? I got you flowers too. They're on the dining room table.”

She chuckled as she shed her coat and dropped a few bags on the floor. ”Must have been. I saw those and I decided you needed them. You've been working so hard and you never reward yourself.”

I didn't really know what to say to that, so I said nothing. I knew she was right. I worked overtime and socked the money away. The whole reason I bought so large a house, other than hoping for a family at some point, was that it was a good investment.

I decided to take care of filling her in about Karen instead, so that we could deal with it right away. Besides, I needed to talk to her about it and see what she thought. Lover or not, she was still my best friend and that was who I needed right then.

I followed her to the kitchen so I could put the lilies in water while she checked out her flowers in the dining room. She thanked me profusely for remembering her favorite flowers and then pulled back a bit. ”What's wrong, Chloe?”

Slightly startled I asked, ”Why do you think something's wrong?”

She shrugged. ”I don't know. I just know that something is wrong. It's like your whole body feels different when you have something on your mind that you don't like.”

”d.a.m.n, you're good woman! Tell you what, let's order a pizza, I'm feeling like some junk food. Do you want to order or get the wine?”

”I'll order, you're better at picking wine out. Just make it a red... a Chianti or merlot would be nice. Any topping requests?”

”Nope. You know what I like and don't like. I'll meet you in the living room with the wine.”

I went back downstairs to our small wine collection. We had recently gone to a few wine tastings, and a few local vineyards, and made some purchases of things we liked. We didn't know much about wine other than what we enjoyed drinking, but it was always a fun day out and we always had something on hand too. I decided on a nice Chianti we had picked and had both enjoyed.

Upstairs again, I took a couple of wine gla.s.ses and the corkscrew to the living room where Caity already sat waiting for me. I opened the wine and felt the weight of Caity's eyes on me as I delayed our talk. Finally, I had no other stall tactics. I decided on the direct approach after I took a fortifying sip of the wine. ”Karen was here today.” I cringed slightly, waiting for the reaction I a.s.sumed was coming.

Silence. Not a sound, not a peep, nothing.

”I said, Karen was here today. In our home.”

No reaction. None at all. I wasn't certain but I was pretty sure she was able to hear me.

”Are you going to say anything?”

She s.h.i.+fted on the couch, looked over at me, and said nothing. I couldn't figure out what she was thinking. Her expression was blank, her eyes said nothing to me for the first time that I could remember.

”Caity! Don't you want to know why she was here?”

”I know why she was here. She came to ask you to give her another chance.” There was no trace of my Caity in her voice, just a flat monotone.

I was confused and astounded. ”Are you psychic? How did you know that?”

Caity looked at me with the first expression she had shown since we sat down. ”How do you think she got in the house? Why do you think I wasn't here when I said I would make dinner?”

”Why would you let her in, never mind leave her here alone? I don't understand, Caity. Are you mad at me?”

She drained her wine gla.s.s and poured more wine. ”Just tell me what you have to tell me.”

I was struggling to figure out why she was suddenly acting this way. I really must have part of my brain turned off. ”Uh, well, when I came in the house, it was dark... I didn't know where you were so I looked around cause something felt wrong. I finally found her in our bedroom. She was trying to seduce me, Caity, but I told her the truth, I am over her. I am in love with you, and I asked her to leave.”

”You did? You weren't tempted? I know how much she hurt you, which means you had to have a lot of feelings for her.”

I struggled, but I finally understood. Caity was worried that I was trying to end things with her! I rushed to make her understand. ”Baby, it is you and only you I want! Whatever she and I shared is ancient history. I did tell her how much it had hurt, why I wouldn't want her back even if I was single, and I walked her to the door. That was it.”

Finally, a wan smile broke out across her features. ”So, nothing happened?”

”Well, not nothing, I was able to realize that I had let go of all that pain and baggage from my past. I forgave her and wished her well. She apologized and wished us well, then she gave me a quick hug and left. I made it clear that I was only interested in one woman and she wasn't the one.”

Tears started trailing down Caity's face. It almost broke my heart to know she had doubted us, doubted me and my commitment to her. I gathered her in my arms and held her tightly. ”Baby, don't ever question my love for you. You are it for me, my other half, my soul mate. You are who I have searched for my whole life. There is no one else who holds any interest for me, only you can love me the way I want to be loved. Only you let me love you the way I need to love someone.”

I felt tears welling in my own eyes and didn't even try to fight them. I felt Caity brus.h.i.+ng them away with her thumbs. ”I'm sorry for doubting us, Chloe. I guess I wonder if I'm enough for you sometimes. If I'm exciting enough.”

”Caity, look at me.” I waited for her eyes to lock with mine and I saw the pain there as well as the doubts. ”You are the most interesting and exciting woman in the world to me. You are my best friend as well as my lover. I'm so sorry I gave you room to doubt that. I want to make sure you know how important you are to me. How important we are to me.”