Part 21 (1/2)

[_Reads._] Gown of white cloth with Postillion coat of Rose du Barri silk, motifs of silver, forty-five guineas----

_Dolly._ You won't grumble at that, for when I first put it on, you stood and looked at me and said, ”I want to know how it is, Doll, that the moment a dress gets on to your shoulders, it seems to brisk up, and be as c.o.c.ky and proud of itself----”

[_Again attempting to embrace him._

_Harry._ [_Again repulsing her._] Yes, well now I do know! Jolly proud and c.o.c.ky your dresses ought to feel at this price! [_Reads._] ”Evening cloak of strawberry satin charmeuse, trimmed silk pa.s.s.e.m.e.nterie, motifs and fringed stoles of dull gold embroidery, thirty-five guineas.” What's a motif?

_Dolly._ It's a tr.i.m.m.i.n.g--a lot of little touches--a sort of--a--a--a--[_making a little descriptive gesture_] a suggestion--a motif----

_Harry._ And Mr. John Spearman's motif is that I should pay him five hundred and fifty-six pounds. Well, I don't like Mr. John Spearman's motifs, and I'm not going to fall in with them. [_Puts the bill on the table rather angrily, takes up another, reads._] ”Artistic lingerie!” I wonder why all these people call themselves artists! ”Underwear of daintiness and distinction.”

_Dolly._ Well, you've always praised----

_Harry._ Yes. In future, I'm going to be very careful what articles of your dress I praise. ”Three pairs of blue silk garters, forty-five s.h.i.+llings.” [_She has settled herself in the armchair, looking a little sulky and obstinate, leaning back and pettishly swinging one leg over the other._] What have you got to say to that?

_Dolly._ Garters are necessary.

_Harry._ Yes, but why three? And why blue silk? Why don't you speak?

_Dolly._ The garters can speak for themselves!

_Harry._ Very well. Garters that can speak for themselves can pay for themselves! [_Dashes the bill on the table, takes up another. Reading._]

Three bottles coeur de Janette--three bottles Souffle de Marguerite--fifteen pounds for scent--and I have to smoke sixpenny cigars! And sometimes only fourpenny!

_Dolly._ Well, if you will smoke those horrid strong things you can't wonder I have to disinfect the house for you.

_Harry._ Disinfect the house _for_ me! You'll very soon disinfect the house _of_ me! [_Glances through the remaining bills, groans, puts them on the table, and walks about in despair._ DOLLY _rises and is going off._] Where are you going?

_Dolly._ To bed.

_Harry._ [_Stopping her._] No! Now we've begun, we'll go through to the bitter end, if you please. I want you to explain----

_Dolly._ My dear Harry, it will be quite useless for me to try to explain in your present state----

_Harry._ [_Getting furious._] In my present state----

_Dolly._ Dancing about the room and shouting!----

_Harry._ I'm not shouting!

_Dolly._ You're not shouting?!

_Harry._ No, and if I am, isn't it enough to make a man shout when his wife----

MATT _appears at the door in his dressing-gown and slippers._

_Matt._ Excuse my interrupting. But you know my room is just above this, and if you could manage to pitch your voices in rather a softer key----

_Harry._ By Jove, I'd forgotten! We were getting a little noisy. I'm awfully sorry.