Part 12 (1/2)
”It'll just make me feel better.”
”Then I'm sorry to tell you that Heather eats all the time. She has to eat constantly or she becomes too thin.”
”That's just not right. Oh I see! She wors.h.i.+ps at the porcelain altar then?”
”What?” Ross said in confusion.
”Bulimia?”
”Is this important?”
Heather pa.s.sed her hand through her hair, fluffing the long blonde locks, and then struck a pose in a white mini halter dress that Mo had only seen in vogue. Mo had hated her on first sight but even more now.
”It appears that I was right,” Mo said. ”Your girlfriend is obviously the one who convinced Clarence to have me break into your car.”
”Ex-girlfriend, if you please. And nothing is obvious in this scenario.”
”Why would he be talking to Heather if she wasn't involved?”
Mo saw Heather clutch Clarence's arm and then she furtively surveyed the crowd around her. Mo and Ross ducked simultaneously behind a teddy bear head.
They each inched their heads up to peek over the bar of the costume rack and found themselves face-to-face with a young woman wearing a nametag that read Susie, Costume Adviser.
”Are you two going to rent those costumes or just pet them all day?” Susie carped with a pinched expression on her face.
Susie was probably twenty and dressed in a black leotard with pink ballet tutu. Realistic cat ears sprouted up from the top of either side of her head. Susie's face was a heart shape with a pointed chin. If she hadn't worn the ears she would still have resembled a cat with her pet.i.te upturned nose and slanted green eyes.
Mo glanced around Susie and saw Heather lean toward Clarence, gesturing animatedly while she talked. Satisfied that the subjects hadn't escaped, Mo turned her attention to the costume rental clerk.
”Thank you, but I don't think we need costumes.”
Susie's right eyebrow spiked as she scanned first Ross and then Mo. ”You look okay,” she said to Ross. ”Great Stephen Dagger make-up. Although, you could use a big gun and a little restyling of your hair.”
”Brilliant. Thanks. I'll take that under advis.e.m.e.nt.” Ross had a large dollop of sarcasm in his tone.
”But you,” Susie spoke to Mo. ”You're in serious need of a costume. What are you dressed as? A librarian?”
”What?” Mo sputtered, looking down at herself. This skirt and blouse combo was one of her favorite outfits.
”What movie is that costume from? Grumpy old women?”
Ross's snicker was cut off as he coughed into his fist.
”I didn't say it.” He c.o.c.ked his head toward Susie. ”She did.”
”Yeah, but you thought it was funny,” Mo complained.
”No, I didn't.” He widened his eyes in mock innocence, which slowly dissolved into a smile. ”Maybe a tad bit funny.”
”Hardee har har har,” Mo said.
Heather was still talking as Clarence nodded. Cream cheese. Did the girl ever run out of things to say?
”Listen,” Mo said to Ross. ”Maybe we should rent costumes if we're going to follow those two around. That way we wouldn't have to keep hiding behind stuffed toys.”
”They're j.a.panese anime characters.” Susie huffed with disgust.
Mo ignored her comment. ”They've got a replica of the big gun here and you're obviously a natural for a costume of -”
”If you say the name Stephen Dagger I'll go barking.”
”Go where?”
”Barking mad, totally insane.”
”Okay, then. You're a natural for a costume of the nameless one.”
Ross rolled his eyes. ”And what will your costume be?”
Mo looked around the booth and spotted something in the corner. ”What about a southern belle?” Mo spoke in her most extreme drawl and gave an exaggerated batting of her eyes. She motioned toward the replica of a Civil War era ball gown.
”Cute, but you need something with a head or the lad will recognize you.”
”Of course, that means I'm going to have an itchy and hot costume, but you have a point.” Mo turned to Susie. ”Oh well. If I have to be an animal, I want to be a cat. Those ears are very realistic. Do you have any more of them?”
”These aren't part of a costume.” Susie grabbed Mo's hand and then brought it to the top of her head to stroke her ears. ”See? They're real.”
Mo squeezed the pointed end of one ear and began to stroke the fur. ”They're quite soft too.” When she noticed what she was doing, she jerked her hand away. ”You were born with cat ears?”
”Don't be ridiculous.” Susie laughed and reached up to push her black, chin-length bob behind two very human ears. ”These are my biological ears. The cat ears are implants I got last year.”
”They aren't covered in actual cat fur are they?” Ross asked. ”I'm terribly allergic to cats.”
”No it's not actual cat fur.”
Ross moved in closer and inspected Susie's head. ”I have to say those ears are truly bizarre.”
”Not at all,” Susie said happily. ”It's quite natural really. I'm a trans-species.”
”A what?” Mo asked.
”You've heard of transs.e.xuals. An example of that would be a guy who feels he's a woman in a man's body. The guy gets surgery to become a woman, right? Well, I'm a trans-species. I'm a cat born in a human's body. So I'm getting surgery to change species.” She beamed with pleasure. ”I'm saving up for my whisker implants.”
”What's next after the whiskers? Are you going to get a tail?” Ross asked.