Part 13 (1/2)

FIRST CHATTY SIGNALLER. This is Beer Company, sir. Weel, Jock, did ye get a quiet nicht?

SECOND CHATTY SIGNALLER. Oh, aye. There was a wee--

THE F.O.O. Is that C Battery? There's--

SECOND CHATTY SIGNALLER. No, sir. This is Don Company. Weel, Jimmy, there was a couple whish-bangs came intil--

REGIMENTAL HEADQUARTERS. HALLO, BRIGADE!

A CHEERFUL c.o.c.kNEY VOICE. Well, my lad, what abaht it?

REGIMENTAL HEADQUARTERS (_getting to work at once_). Hold the line, Brigade. Message to Staff Captain. ”Ref. your S.C. fourr stroke seeven eight six, the worrking-parrty in question--”

THE F.O.O. (_seeing a gleam of hope_). Working-party? Is that C Battery? I want to speak to--

THE ADJUTANT. } BRIGADE HEADQUARTERS. } Get off the line!

REGIMENTAL HEADQUARTERS. }

FIRST CHATTY SIGNALLER. Haw, Jock, was ye hearin' aboot Andra?

SECOND CHATTY SIGNALLER. No. Whit was that?

FIRST CHATTY SIGNALLER. Weel--

THE F.O.O. (_doggedly_). Is that C Battery?

REGIMENTAL HEADQUARTERS (_resolutely_). ”The worrking-parrty in question was duly detailed for tae proceed to the rendiss vowse at”--

THE ADJUTANT. Is that B Company, curse you?

REGIMENTAL HEADQUARTERS (_quite impervious to this sort of thing_),--”the rendiss vowse, at seeven thirrty Akk Emma, at point H two B eight nine, near the cross-roads by the Estamint Repose dee Bicyclistees, for tae”--honk! honkle! honk!

BRIGADE HEADQUARTERS (_compa.s.sionately_). You're makin' a 'orrible mess of this message, ain't you? Shake your transmitter, do!

REGIMENTAL HEADQUARTERS (_after dutifully performing this operation_).

Honkle, honkle, honk. Yang!

BRIGADE HEADQUARTERS. Buzz it, my lad, buzz it!

REGIMENTAL HEADQUARTERS (_dutifully_). Ping, ping! Ping, ping! Ping, ping, ping! Ping--

GENERAL CHORUS. Stop that ----, ----, ----, ---- buzzing!

FIRST CHATTY SIGNALLER. Weel, Andra says tae the Sergeant-Major of Beer Company, says he--

THE ADJUTANT. Is that B Company?

FIRST CHATTY SIGNALLER. No, sir; this is Beer Company.

THE ADJUTANT (_fortissimo_). I _said_ Beer Company!