Part 10 (1/2)

”I didn't call her no kind!” declared the Colonel. ”All I say is, I've been married once already, and I know how women are. And I know Skinner.

He's lookin' for to pay for that opery house with Pap Brigg's money that he'll git if he marries Sally. But he won't git it! I'm a-goin' to----”

He was going to say he was going to get it, but he caught himself in time, and subst.i.tuted ”I'm a-goin' to see to that.”

”I see,” said Toole, ”and you want to retain me as your attorney in case you have to sue for breach of promise?”

The Colonel scowled.

”I don't want to retain, and I don't want to sue, and I don't want no fees to pay. You get that clear in your mind. If I did, I'd go to a lawyer that had some experience. I jest dropped up----”

”Well, any time you wish, you can just drop down again, Colonel,” said Toole, but not ill-naturedly.

”Now, don't git that way,” said the Colonel. ”I jest dropped up to do you a favor, and you git mad about it! I don't call that friendly. If you was to do me a favor I wouldn't git mad.”

”Go ahead with the favor, then,” said Toole, leaning back in his chair and putting his feet on his table.

”Miss Sally,” said the Colonel, ”she told me all about this feller Rossiter, an' what he said, an' what she said, an' how he come to go to her house for board, an' how he skipped off, an' she showed me the note he left on the pin cus.h.i.+on, an' then she come down to business.

'Colonel,' she says, 'have I a right to take an' keep that box? Have I a right to open it? Is it mine by law? If I open it can he come back an'

sue me, or anything?'

”'Can he?' says I. 'That's the question. Can he?'

”'It's a large box,' says Miss Sally.

”'A large box, hey?' says I. 'Of course if it was a small box, Miss Sally--but it is a large box! How large?'

”'Quite large,' she says. 'About medium large. Not too large. Besides anything very large it would be small, but beside anything very small it would be large.'

”I nodded my head to her, to let her see I knew what she was tryin' to say. 'Medium large,' I says, 'yes, I know just about how big you mean, but what I'd like to know is, is it heavy?'

”'Medium,' she says, 'just medium heavy.'

”Well, there she was! A medium heavy, medium-sized box. If it had been a little bit of a light-weight box I'd 'a' told her to open it and keep it, for there couldn't have been much in it; and if it had been a big heavy box I'd have told her she'd better leave it alone; for there wouldn't be any tellin' whether she had any right to open a box like that one might have turned out to be. I didn't know how the law stood on that kind of a box. But it was medium-sized, and I didn't know WHAT to say.

”'Miss Sally,' I says, 'I'd like to help you out on this. Any time I can give you any advice on anything, I'm glad to, but I don't know what to say about a box that is medium size and medium heavy. You'd ought to get the law on that subject before you touch that box. Don't you touch that box. Don't you open it unless there's a law officer standin' by to see you do it.'

”She seen that was good advice,” continued the Colonel, ”and I sat there right in her parlor and thought it over. 'Miss Sally,' I says, after I had thought all I could about it, 'I believe Attorney Toole would tell you what to do about that box. There ain't nothin' a lawyer needs more than to be popular, and there ain't no way to git popular quicker than by doin' little favors, an' he ought to be glad to do a favor for you, for you're almost an orphan. Your ma's dead, an' Pap Briggs ain't overly strong, an' you're liable to be an orphan almost any minute. I can tell by the looks of Attorney Toole,' I says, 'that he's got a good heart, and if you say the word I'll ask him what he says to do about that box.'

She seemed sort of put out at what I'd said about orphans, but I seen she was willing to have me ask you about that box, and I seen it would be doin' you a favor, too, to tell you about it, so you could sort of exercise your mind on it, so I jest dropped up----”

”Colonel,” said Toole, ”this is a very serious case.” He put his hand over his mouth to hide the smile he could not prevent from coming to his lips.

”You don't mean to tell me!” exclaimed the Colonel. ”I was afraid there might be somethin' wrong about it somewheres. But I ain't goin' to go to no expense about it. It ain't my box----”

”I would not take a case like this for money,” said the attorney, turning suddenly and facing the Colonel with a seriousness that frightened that cautious soul. ”I would not take a case involving a medium-sized, medium-heavy box; a box left for board by a man from parts unknown, now departed to parts unknown; a box that may contain stolen property; I would not take such a case for money, Colonel. But I'll undertake it for friends.h.i.+p. For friends.h.i.+p only. You ARE my friend, aren't you, Colonel?”

”Surely! Surely!” exclaimed the Colonel eagerly.

”A medium-sized box,” said Toole, turning his head to hide his smile, ”should be opened only in the presence of an attorney-at-law. That is legal advice and worth five dollars, but I charge you nothing for it, you being my friend. Consider it a gift from me to you.”