Part 13 (1/2)

”I don't know.” The Gambler kept his voice devoid of content. ”Right now it's missing.”

”Missing? Jesus Christ. Where's, um, the guy who is supposed to have it?”

”He's gone. Gone in a permanent and messy way, if you know what I'm saying.”

”What the h.e.l.l is going on there? Who caused him to get gone?”

”No idea,” the Gambler said. ”We're working on it.”

”Yeah, you working on getting me my stuff, too?”

”We're working on it, but right now we don't have a whole lot to go on.”

”Am I going to have to come out there?” B.B. asked.

”I don't think that's necessary,” the Gambler said. ”We can take care of everything. I'll keep you updated.”

B.B. hung up the phone. He'd keep them updated. Great, with their little ”I spy with my little eye” games?

He turned to Desiree. ”Get dressed. We're going to Jacksonville,” he said.

She scrunched up her nose. ”I hate Jacksonville.”

”Of course you hate Jacksonville. Everyone hates Jacksonville. No one goes to Jacksonville because they like it.”

”Then why do people go to Jacksonville?”

”To find their money,” B.B. said, ”and to make sure their people aren't trying to rip them off.” And maybe, he thought, to take care of the Gambler. If he'd lost the payment, then there was a pretty good chance he'd outlived his usefulness. Maybe even if he could find the money.

The Gambler hung up the phone. The a.s.shole was going to come up here; he just knew it. The last thing he needed was B.B. and his freak-show girlfriend messing around with the business. Technically, of course, it was B.B.'s business, but that struck the Gambler as more a matter of happenstance than anything else. He'd stumbled into this deal. Met some people. Formed some alliances. Whatever. The money came in not because B.B. was so smart, but because people were willing to buy crank, crank was cheap to make, there wasn't much compet.i.tion for the market, and the cops were too busy chasing after cocaine cowboys to pay much mind to homemade meth. They could sell it out of ice-cream trucks-h.e.l.l, they practically did-without the feds or local law taking notice. They had bigger fish to fry than some homemade bulls.h.i.+t that you could cook up out of over-the-counter asthma medicine.

The truth was that there was a lot more money to be made, and the Gambler was sick and f.u.c.king tired of baby-sitting this encyclopedia zoo. He wasn't going to have the strength for it much longer, and he was ready to move on, to help expand the empire. He needed something less physically taxing, something that would enable him to sit and think. And make money. He'd told B.B. as much, though he left out the part about worrying about his strength. B.B. hadn't been interested.

”Right now,” he'd said, ”we're all making money, the cops are oblivious, and everything is just fine. We get greedy, everything could fall apart.”

It was easy for B.B. to be happy with the status quo. He didn't have to hang out with these door-to-door f.u.c.kos and a.s.sholes like Jim Doe. He didn't have to perform for the sales monkeys twice a day. And he didn't have to worry about the day coming-and it could be in a couple of years, maybe even next year-when he wouldn't be able to do it anymore, when the medical bills would begin to pile in, when he would need the cash to make sure someone was taking care of him so he didn't end up with psychopathic orderlies who would stick pins in his eyeb.a.l.l.s just for the fun of it.

The Gambler had never been anything but effective and loyal, and he was getting sick of B.B.'s ingrat.i.tude. Not just ingrat.i.tude-there was something else. B.B.'s new residence in the land of oblivion. He was checked out. On another planet. That was no way to run this kind of operation. The Gambler had worked with guys in Vegas who could run six operations at one time, have three phone conversations, and handicap a weekend's worth of football games-and give them all their full attention. f.u.c.king B.B. couldn't figure out if a yellow light meant speed up or slow down without f.u.c.king Desiree to tell him.

And sure, the money was good, but it wasn't going to be enough-not when he began to decline.

He'd been forced to leave off working for the Greek in Vegas when the freezing started. He probably ought to have gone to a doctor right away. You're in the middle of kicking someone's a.s.s and you just freeze, bat over your head, like you've turned into an action figure-that's usually a sign to head for the doctor. But it was an isolated incident, a freak thing, so he forgot about it. Then it happened again three or four months later, out on a date with a showgirl. Ruined the whole thing. Then three months after that, this time while playing golf. Midswing-and frozen, just like that.

He'd been with the Greek that time, and the Greek had wanted to know, reasonably enough, what the f.u.c.k was going on.

Five doctors later, it was confirmed. ALS: amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Lou Gehrig's disease. A form of muscular dystrophy. He was now one of Jerry Lewis's f.u.c.king kids. It could start in any number of ways-muscle spasms, loss of coordination, slurring of speech, clumsiness, and the Gambler's own freakish freezes. It would progress until he was a complete physical nothing, unable to move, even to breathe or swallow on his own, while his mind, meanwhile, remained in perfect working order.

It could happen slowly or it could happen quickly. No one knew. In the Gambler's case, the progress appeared to be slow, so that gave him time to get his s.h.i.+t in order. It wasn't the death he feared. He knew that death wasn't the end; he'd seen those pictures of ghosts, heard the recordings of voices from the other side, even been to a medium who let him speak to his dead mother. Knowing that the body was but a sh.e.l.l and the soul lived on had helped him in his enforcement work in Vegas. It's not so hard to beat someone to death if you know you're not doing any permanent damage. What scared him was the time leading up to death, when he was alone and helpless, and the only thing that was going to keep him from being abused and tormented was money. He needed money.

If he told B.B. the truth, B.B. would be sympathetic, understanding, and he would send him on his way. Maybe with a nice little bonus, but not nearly enough. The Gambler needed money, piles and piles of money, enough money to pay for the bills, to pay for a personal nurse and pay the nurse so well that she would do anything to keep him happy and healthy.

The way things were going, the cause was in trouble. In the last six months, B.B. had been more distracted than ever. Business was falling off, and he didn't seem to care. And Desiree, that sneaky b.i.t.c.h, was up to something. He was sure of it. Maybe she was planning a takeover, to cut out the Gambler entirely. But there was no way he was going to work for her, and he sure as h.e.l.l wasn't going to let her get rid of him. If anyone was going to take over for B.B., it would be the Gambler.

Desiree kept her eyes straight ahead. Next to her, in the pa.s.senger seat, B.B. sat quietly, his head tilted slightly away from her. She couldn't tell if he was asleep or not or maybe pretending. His tape of Randy Newman's Little Criminals Little Criminals had finished playing a minute ago, and now there was only the hissing silence of the radio. She wanted more music, the radio, anything to help keep her awake. Her fatigue, the darkness of the highway, the glare of oncoming traffic, lulled her into a hypnotic stupor. had finished playing a minute ago, and now there was only the hissing silence of the radio. She wanted more music, the radio, anything to help keep her awake. Her fatigue, the darkness of the highway, the glare of oncoming traffic, lulled her into a hypnotic stupor.

”You had a good time with Chuck?” she asked at last.

B.B. stirred. ”What do you mean?”

”I mean, did you have a good time?”

”We had a productive dinner,” he said. ”He's a good kid. Bright. Ready for mentoring. Could be more if, you know, he's willing to open himself up.”

She let that hang there. ”Okay.”

They said nothing for a few more minutes. Desiree winced when they pa.s.sed a pair of squashed racc.o.o.ns in the roadside.

”I never wanted to be like this,” B.B. said.

Desiree felt herself suck in her breath. In a way, she'd been waiting for this, the big confession, and she'd been dreading it. Once he told her of his shame, of how his desires controlled him, of how he had been victimized as a boy-whatever it was that he would say-she was afraid she would feel pity and sympathy, and the will to leave would be lost in a tangle of guilt and obligation.

”I never wanted to be in this business, you know. It just happened to me.”

Relief pa.s.sed over her. He didn't want to talk about his thing for boys, he wanted to talk about being a supplier. ”I'm in no position to judge anyone, B.B.”

”I never wanted to do this,” he said again. ”I don't like it. I'd live off the hogs if I could, except I've gotten used to the money now. But it's like a stain on my soul, you know? It's a blackness. I keep thinking that I want to get rid of it.”

”So walk away,” she said. ”Just walk away. No one is stopping you.”

”I was thinking something else,” he said. ”I was thinking that maybe someone could take over for me. That you you could take over for me. I'd cut you in on the profits, and I could retire from it all, work at the Young Men's Foundation full-time. Live a decent life.” could take over for me. I'd cut you in on the profits, and I could retire from it all, work at the Young Men's Foundation full-time. Live a decent life.”

”That's very flattering,” she said. ”It's really incredible that you trust me so much, B.B. But I need to think about it.”

”Okay,” he said. And he fell into silence again.

Desiree had no desire to think about it. B.B.'s idea of cleaning the stain off his soul was to hand the dirty work to someone else and just take the profits. Ever so slightly, she shook her head. She didn't want him to see it, but she felt she needed to offer the universe a gesture. Her decisions were getting easier all the time.

Chapter 15.

THE ALARM WENT OFF AT SEVEN A.M. Normally, after hanging out by the pool, people would begin to drift off to sleep between one and two, and hardly anyone was left by three. That meant you could get four hours of sleep easy, which Bobby said was all you needed. He ought to know. He was always among the last to leave the pool area, and he never once looked tired. I couldn't remember ever having seen him yawn. Normally, after hanging out by the pool, people would begin to drift off to sleep between one and two, and hardly anyone was left by three. That meant you could get four hours of sleep easy, which Bobby said was all you needed. He ought to know. He was always among the last to leave the pool area, and he never once looked tired. I couldn't remember ever having seen him yawn.

I had grown used to the fatigue in the way you might grow used to having a tumor on the side of your face-you never forgot about it, but not forgetting about it didn't mean you were actually thinking about it. I woke up each morning exhausted, fuzzy, slightly dizzy, and the feeling never quite went away.

Bobby tended to breeze into our room about twenty after seven, swinging the door wide and bounding in like a character in a musical about to break into song. He would make sure everyone was awake and chitchat with whoever had been the first to shower and was by then usually dressed, since they had to rush if four people were going to get showered and have breakfast in time for the prep meeting at nine.