Part 22 (1/2)

THE KEEL ROW.

Weel may the keel row, the keel row, the keel row, Weel may the keel row, and better may she speed: Weel may the keel row, the keel row, the keel row, Weel may the keel row, that gets the bairns their breed.

We teuk wor keel up to the d.y.k.e, Up to the d.y.k.e, up to the d.y.k.e, We teuk wor keel up to the d.y.k.e, And there we gat her load; Then sail'd away down to s.h.i.+elds, Down to s.h.i.+elds, down to s.h.i.+elds, Then sail'd away down to s.h.i.+elds, And s.h.i.+pp'd wor coals abroad.

Singing--Weel may the keel row, &c.

Then we row'd away up to the fest, Up to the fest, up to the fest, We row'd away up to the fest, Cheerly every man; Pat by wor gear and moor'd wor keel, And moor'd wor keel, and moor'd wor keel, Pat by wor gear and moor'd wor keel, Then went and drank wor can, Singing--Weel may the keel row, &c.

Our canny wives, our clean fireside, Our bonny bairns, their parents' pride, Sweet smiles that make life smoothly glide, We find when we gan hyem: They'll work for us when we get au'd, They'll keep us frae the winter's cau'd; As life declines they'll us uphaud-- When young we uphaud them.

Weel may the keel row, &c.

THE BARBER'S NEWS;

_Or, s.h.i.+elds in an Uproar._

Great was the consternation, amazement, and dismay, sir, Which both in North and South s.h.i.+elds, prevail'd the other day, sir; Quite panic-struck the natives were, when told by the Barber, That a terrible Sea Monster had got into the harbour.

”Have you heard the news, sir?” What news, pray, Master Barber?

”Oh a terrible Sea Monster has got into the harbour!”

Now each honest man in s.h.i.+elds--I mean both North and South, sir, Delighting in occasions to expand their eyes and mouth, sir: And, fond of seeing marv'lous sights, ne'er staid to get his beard off; But ran to view the Monster, its arrival when he heard of.

Oh! who could think of shaving when inform'd by the Barber, That a terrible Sea Monster had got into the harbour.

Each wife pursu'd her husband, and every child its mother, Lads and la.s.ses, helter skelter, scamper'd after one another; Shopkeepers and mechanics too, forsook their daily labours, And ran to gape and stare among their gaping, staring neighbours.

All crowded to the river side, when told by the Barber, That a terrible Sea Monster had got into the harbour.

It happens very frequently that Barber's news is fiction, sir, But the wond'rous news this morning was truth, no contradiction, sir; A something sure enough was there, among the billows flouncing, Now sinking in the deep profound, now on the surface bouncing.

True as Gazette or Gospel were the tidings of the Barber, That a terrible Sea Monster had got into the harbour.

Some thought it was a Shark, sir; a Porpus some conceiv'd it; Some said it was a Grampus, and some a Whale believ'd it; Some swore it was a Sea Horse, then own'd themselves mistaken, For, now they'd got a nearer view--'twas certainly a Kraken.

Each sported his opinion from the Parson to the Barber, Of the terrible Sea Monster they'd gotten in the harbour.

”Belay, belay!” a sailor cried, ”What that, this thing a Kraken!

'Tis no more like one, split my jib! than it is a flitch of bacon!

I've often seen a hundred such, all sporting in the Nile, sir, And you may trust a sailor's word, it is a Crocodile, sir.”

Each straight to Jack knocks under, from the Parson to the Barber, And all agreed a Crocodile had got into the harbour.

Yet greatly Jack's discovery his auditors did shock, sir, For they dreaded that the Salmon would be eat up by the Croc, sir: When presently the Crocodile, their consternation crowning, Rais'd its head above the waves, and cried, ”Help! O Lord, I'm drowning!”

Heavens! how their hair, sir, stood on end, from the Parson to the Barber, To find a speaking Crocodile had got into the harbour.

This dreadful exclamation appall'd both young and old, sir In the very stoutest hearts, indeed, it made the blood run cold, sir; Ev'n Jack, the hero of the Nile, it caus'd to quake and tremble, Until an old wife, sighing, cried, ”Alas! 'tis Stephen Kemble!”

Heav'ns! how they all astonish'd were, from the Parson to the Barber, To find that Stephen Kemble was the Monster in the harbour.