Part 5 (2/2)
”I sent them to hide in the forest when we heard the horses. I think they will come back before nightfall.”
”s.h.i.+zuka,” Kaede said, ”go to the kitchen and see what there is. Prepare food and drink for the men. They may rest here tonight. I shall need at least ten to stay on with me.” She pointed at Long Arm. ”Let him pick them. The others must return to Inuyama. If they harm any of my people or my possessions in any way, they will answer with their lives.”
s.h.i.+zuka bowed. ”Lady.”
”I'll show you the way,” Ai said, and led s.h.i.+zuka toward the back of the house.
”What is your name?” Kaede said to Long Arm. He dropped to his knees before her. ”Kondo, lady.”
”Are you one of Lord Aral's men?”
”My mother was from the Seishuu. My father, if I may trust you with my secrets, was from the Tribe. I fought with Arai's men at Kus.h.i.+moto, and was asked to enter his service.”
She looked down at him. He was not a young man. His hair was gray-streaked, the skin on his neck lined. She wondered what his past had been, what work he had done for the Tribe, how far she could trust him. But she needed a man to handle the soldiers and the horses and defend the house; Kondo had saved s.h.i.+zuka, he was feared and respected by Arai's other men, and he had the fighting skills she required.
”I may need your help for a few weeks,” she said. ”Can I depend on you?”
He looked up at her then. In the gathering darkness she could not make out his expression. His teeth gleamed white as he smiled, and when he spoke his voice had a ring of sincerity, even devotion. ”Lady Otori can depend on me as long as she needs me.”
”Swear it, then,” she said, feeling herself flush as she pretended an authority she was not sure she possessed.
The lines around his eyes crinkled momentarily. He touched his forehead to the matting and swore allegiance to her and her family, but she thought she detected a note of irony in his voice. The Tribe always dissemble, The Tribe always dissemble, she thought, chilled. she thought, chilled. Moreover, they answer only to themselves, Moreover, they answer only to themselves, ”Go and select ten men you can trust,” she said. ”See how much feed there is for the horses, and if the barns provide shelter enough.” ”Go and select ten men you can trust,” she said. ”See how much feed there is for the horses, and if the barns provide shelter enough.”
”Lady Otori,” he replied, and again she thought she heard irony. She wondered how much he knew, how much s.h.i.+zuka had told him. After a few moments Ai returned, took Kaede's hand, and said quietly, ”Should I tell Father?”
”Where is he? What is his condition? Was he wounded?”
”He was wounded slightly. But it is not the injury... Our mother's death, the loss of so many men... sometimes his mind seems to wander, and he does not seem to know where he is. He talks to ghosts and apparitions.”
”Why did he not take his own life?”
”When he was first brought back, he wanted to.” Ai's voice broke completely and she began to weep. ”I prevented him. I was so weak. Hana and I clung to him and begged him not to leave us. I took away his weapons.” She turned her tear-streaked face to Kaede. ”It's all my fault. I should have had more courage. I should have helped him to die and then killed myself and Hana, as a warriors daughter should. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't take her life, and I couldn't leave her alone. So we live in shame, and it is. driving Father mad.”
Kaede thought, I also should have killed myself, as soon as I heard Lord s.h.i.+geru had been betrayed. But I did not. Instead, I killed Iida. I also should have killed myself, as soon as I heard Lord s.h.i.+geru had been betrayed. But I did not. Instead, I killed Iida. She touched Ai on the cheek, felt the wetness of tears. She touched Ai on the cheek, felt the wetness of tears.
”Forgive me,” Ai whispered. ”I have been so weak.”
”No,” Kaede replied. ”Why should you die?” Her sister was only thirteen; she had committed no crime. ”Why should any of us choose death?” she said. ”We will live instead. Where is Hana now?”
”I sent her to the forest with the women.”
Kaede had rarely felt compa.s.sion before. Now it woke within her, as painful as grief. She remembered how the White G.o.ddess had come to her. The All-Merciful One had consoled her, had promised thatTakeo would return to her. But together with the G.o.ddess's promise had come the demands of compa.s.sion, that Kaede should live to take care of her sisters, her people, her unborn child. From outside she could hear Kondo's voice giving orders, the men shouting in reply. A horse whinnied and another answered. The rain had strengthened, beating out a pattern of sound that seemed familiar to her.
”I must see Father,” she said. ”Then we must feed the men. Will anyone help from the villages?”
”Just before Mother died, the farmers sent a delegation. They were complaining about the rice tax, the state of the dikes and fields, the loss of the harvest. Father was furious. He refused even to talk to them. Ayame persuaded them to leave us alone because Mother was sick. Since then everything has been in confusion. The villagers are afraid of Father: They say he is cursed.”
”What about our neighbors?”
”There is Lord Fujiwara. He used to visit Father occasionally.”
”I don't remember him. What sort of a man is he?”
”He's strange. Rather elegant and cold. He is of very high birth, they say, and used to live in the capital.”
”Inuyama?”
”No, the real capital, where the Emperor lives.”
”He is a n.o.bleman, then?”
”I suppose he must be. He speaks differently from people round here. I can hardly understand him. He seems a very erudite man. Father liked talking to him about history and the cla.s.sics.”
”Well, if he ever calls on Father again, perhaps I will seek his advice.” Kaede was silent for a moment. She was fighting weariness. Her limbs ached and her belly felt heavy. She longed to lie down and sleep. And somewhere within herself she felt guilty that she was not grieving more. It was not that she did not suffer anguish for her mother's death and her father's humiliation, but she had no s.p.a.ce left in her soul for any more grief, and no energy to give to it.
She looked round the room. Even in the twilight she could see the matting was old, the walls water-stained, the screens torn. Ai followed her gaze. ”I'm ashamed,” she whispered. ”There's been so much to do, and so much I don't know how to do.”
”I almost seem to remember how it used to be,” Kaede said. ”It had a glow about it.”
”Mother made it like that,” Ai said, stifling a sob.
”We will make it like that again,” Kaede promised.
From the direction of the kitchen there suddenly came the sound of someone singing. Kaede recognized s.h.i.+zuka's voice, and the song as the one she had heard the first time she met her, the love ballad about the village and the pine tree.
How does she have the courage to sing now? she thought, and then s.h.i.+-zuka came quickly into the room carrying a lamp in each hand. she thought, and then s.h.i.+-zuka came quickly into the room carrying a lamp in each hand.
”I found these in the kitchen,” she said, ”and luckily the fire was still burning. Rice and barley are cooking. Kondo has sent men to the village to buy whatever they can. And the household women have returned.”
”Our sister will be with them,” Ai said, breathing a sigh of relief.
”Yes, she has brought an armful of herbs and mushrooms that she insists on cooking.”
Ai blushed. ”She has become half-wild,” she began to explain.
”Let me see her,” Kaede said. ”Then you must take me to Father.”
Ai went out, Kaede heard a few words of argument from the kitchen, and seconds later Ai returned with a girl of about nine years old.
”This is our older sister, Kaede. She left home when you were a baby,” Ai said to Hana, and then, prompting her, ”Greet your older sister properly.”
”Welcome home,” Hana whispered, then dropped to her knees and bowed to Kaede. Kaede knelt in front of her, took her hands, and raised her. She looked into her face.
”I was younger than you are now when I left home,” she said, studying the fine eyes, the perfect bone structure beneath the childish roundness.
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