Part 33 (1/2)

Hwel said nothing. The air was was good, rolling down the unclimbable slopes of the Ramtops like a sinus wash, tinted with turpentine from the high forests. They pa.s.sed through a gateway into what was, up here, probably called a town; the cosmopolitan he had become decided that, down on the plains, it would just about have qualified as an open s.p.a.ce. good, rolling down the unclimbable slopes of the Ramtops like a sinus wash, tinted with turpentine from the high forests. They pa.s.sed through a gateway into what was, up here, probably called a town; the cosmopolitan he had become decided that, down on the plains, it would just about have qualified as an open s.p.a.ce.

”There's an inn,” said Tomjon doubtfully.

Hwel followed his gaze. ”Yes,” he said, eventually. ”Yes, it probably is.”

”When are we going to do the play?”

”I don't know. I think we just send up to the castle and say we're here.” Hwel scratched his chin. ”Fool said the king or whoever would want to see the script.”

Tomjon looked around Lancre town. It seemed peaceful enough. It didn't look like the kind of place likely to turn actors out at nightfall. It needed the population.

”This is the capital city of the kingdom,” said Nanny Ogg. ”Well-designed streets, you'll notice.”

”Streets?” said Tomjon.

”Street,” corrected Granny. ”Also houses in quite good repair, stone's throw from river-”

”Throw?”

”Drop,” Nanny conceded. ”Neat middens, look, and extensive-”

”Madam, we've come to entertain the town, not buy it,” said Hwel.

Nanny Ogg looked sidelong at Tomjon.

”Just wanted you to see how attractive it is,” she said.

”Your civic pride does you credit,” said Hwel. ”And now, please, leave the cart. I'm sure you've got some wood to gather. Lawks.”

”Much obliged for the snack,” said Nanny, climbing down.

”Meals,” corrected Hwel.

Tomjon nudged him. ”You ought to be more polite,” he said. ”You never know.” He turned to Nanny. ”Thank you, good-oh, she's gone.”

”They've come to do a theater,” said Nanny.

Granny Weatherwax carried on sh.e.l.ling beans in the sun, much to Nanny's annoyance.

”Well? Aren't you going to say something? I've been finding out things,” she said. ”Picking up information. Not sitting around making soup-”

”Stew.”

”I reckon it's very important,” sniffed Nanny.

”What kind of a theater?”

”They didn't say. Something for the duke, I think.”

”What's he want a theater for?”

”They didn't say that, either.”

”It's probably all a trick to get in the castle,” Granny said knowingly. ”Very clever idea. Did you see anything in the carts?”

”Boxes and bundles and such.”

”They'll be full of armor and weapons, depend upon it.”

Nanny Ogg looked doubtful.

”They didn't look very much like soldiers to me. They were awfully young and spotty.”

”Clever. I expect in the middle of the play the king will manifest his destiny, right where everyone can see him. Good plan.”

”That's another thing,” said Nanny, picking up a bean pod and chewing it. ”He doesn't seem to like the place much.”

”Of course he does. It's in his blood.”

”I brought him the pretty way. He didn't seem very impressed.”

Granny hesitated.

”He was probably suspicious of you,” she concluded. ”He was probably too overcome to speak, really.”

She put down the bowl of beans and looked thoughtfully at the trees.

”Have you got any family still working up at the castle?” she said.

”s.h.i.+rl and Daff help out in the kitchens since the cook went off his head.”

”Good. I'll have a word with Magrat. I think we should see this theater.”

”Perfect,” said the duke.

”Thank you,” said Hwel.

”You've got it exactly spot on about that dreadful accident,” said the duke. ”You might almost have been there. Ha. Ha.”

”You weren't, were you?” said Lady Felmet, leaning forward and glaring at the dwarf.

”I just used my imagination,” said Hwel hurriedly. The d.u.c.h.ess glared at him, suggesting that his imagination could consider itself lucky it wasn't being dragged off to the courtyard to explain itself to four angry wild horses and a length of chain.

”Exactly right,” said the duke, leafing one-handedly through the pages. ”This is exactly, exactly, exactly how it was.”