Vol 1 Chapter 7.2 (1/2)
2. Guan He’s Secret
People will like a pretty girl and they will respect a strong girl. When a girl becomes both pretty and strong, she will be invincible.
For the entire winter break, my life was a mess. The only normal thing I did was go and pay Teacher Gao a new year’s call.
Teacher Gao already knew that Zhang Jun had been divided into the slow cla.s.s, she also knew that my mid-semester exam results had slipped dramatically so she was feeling quite sad. She told me that although she had taught many students, she still thought that Zhang Jun and I were the most special out of all those students. As a teacher, what she feared the most was seeing students who were clearly naturally talented waste themselves.
She wasn’t worried about Zhang Jun being divided into a slow cla.s.s, she said that Zhang Jun’s mind was stronger than many adults. On the surface he may seem like he doesn’t care about anything and go with the tide but inside, he is very attentive towards himself and wouldn’t be affected by other people’s interferences.
However, she was very worried about me. On the surface I looked stubborn and cold, it seemed hard for me to be influenced by others but actually, I was very sensitive inside and easily affected by the world’s interference. My grades sliding down quickly was enough to prove her a.n.a.lysis. She said that she didn’t hope for my middle school exam to be exceptional but I had to at least make sure I could be able to get into a top high school.
When I left Teacher Gao’s house, Zhang Jun was just parking his motorcycle outside. He was bent over with his head lowered so he didn’t see me. I increased my walking speed, wanting to quickly walk past him.
“Hey!”
I didn’t stop but I paused for a bit, not sure if he was calling me.
“Hey!”
I turned back, unsure.
“Ge Xiao Fei is very intelligent and also very strong, she will be able to get through it.” He was standing beside his motorcycle looking at me.
Only then did I confirm he was talking to me. I felt that in an instant, all my unhappiness was welling up in my eyes.
He seemed like he wanted to say a lot but finally, he said, “Don’t be too upset.”
I was scared that the tears will fall if I opened my mouth so I just nodded then turned and left.
I felt a pair of eyes stare at me as I walked so I picked up the pace wanting to quickly escape it.
The new semester started, it was our last semester of middle school.
Although Xiao Fei’s matters caused an uproar, with her disappearance, everything quickly turned back to normal. Especially during cla.s.ses, the boys running on the field would be red in the face, energetic and vigorous, the girls would laugh as they eat ice cream, sharing gossip with delight. I didn’t need to listen to know what they were talking about. Because, two years ago, I was one of them. Different people yet forever similar teenage lives, forever similar stories.
Sometimes, I find it really hard to believe, a person disappears just like that but this world is still revolving so vigorously, can’t it feel our sadness?
The earth won’t stop spinning for anyone. This is the most truthful phrase and also the most cruel.
Zhang Jun got a new girlfriend called Chen Yi Nan. She was a talented girl in our school and had once been the president of our school’s radio station and the editor of the school newspaper.
We’ve talked before, after I partic.i.p.ated in a few speech compet.i.tions and won a few awards, she came to invite me to join the school’s radio station but I politely declined.
She is currently a third year in high school in the arts stream. Her grades for Chinese literature were extremely, extremely good.
Chen Yi Nan had no similarities with Zhang Jun’s previous two girlfriends. The only similarity they shared was that they were all older than him. Everyone was taken aback back the news, unsure as to what part of Zhang Jun caught her eye.
Perhaps it was because of Xiao Fei and perhaps it was because I was numb but I didn’t have the slightest feeling of heartbreak. I only thought that Zhang Jun seemed unable to stand the slightest bit of loneliness, the girl beside him always came and left, how long would this one stick for?
I started to diligently read Agatha Christie’s novels. In the puzzles she laidout, I searched for clues to nail the murderer. As Xiao Bo was preparing hard for his gao kao, he was hardly ever in the karaoke bar so I didn’t go to there much either. Everyday, after school, I either went home or to the library.
My life became very peaceful but in Guan He’s eyes, I was giving up on myself. She worked hard in attempt to get closer to me but because of Xiao Fei, I had already locked the doors to friends.h.i.+p and I rejected her kindness.
But no matter how cold I was, she always pretended not to notice. She urged me to do my homework, to listen in cla.s.s and to study well. She would come and find me to play and whenever there were cla.s.smate meetups, no matter how big or small, as long as she went, she would drag me along too. She reminded me of a Christian nun, trying to save me from the devil.
I was helplessly pulled into her friends.h.i.+p circle. In this circle, there was our cla.s.s monitor, Li Shan, the poet, cla.s.smate Song Cheng and the pale and frail Wei Wei who we called Old Third because he was the third. There was also w.a.n.g Hao, the English cla.s.s representative who was currently staying at his sister’s house.
Guan He worked hard to make my life bright and colourful but I worked hard to cold and calm.
Song Chen was annoyed by me from early on and didn’t like how I kept an expressionless face all day so he asked, “Why don’t you smile? Don’t you know that ‘if you smile, you’ll lose ten years’?”
I told him, “Do you know why it’s ‘if you smile, you’ll lose ten years’? Because you smile too much, you’ll grown wrinkles easily and become old. When someone asks for your true age, they’ll be surprised, wow, it turns out you’re actually so young.”
Song Chen was speechless, although he was talented, he couldn’t beat me in the logical thinking field even if he was riding eight horses.