Part 44 (2/2)

”What?” she asked.

”It could have been one of those unexplained phenomena one hears about, something that happens only once in ten thousand years,” Matt said.

He's talking about that d.a.m.ned kiss. G.o.dd.a.m.n him, he knows knows what it did to me. what it did to me.

”What could?”

”On the other hand, it could well be a harbinger of heaven on earth,” Matt said.

”Harbinger of heaven on earth”? My G.o.d! Give credit where it's due. That's one h.e.l.l of a line.

”I think, before we have our supper, in the interest of scientific research, let the chips fall where they may, so to speak, we should attempt the experiment again.”

”Matt . . .”

”You agree?”

G.o.d, if he puts his hand on my shoulder, if he touches me, I don't know what I'll do.

”Matt . . .”

Matt pushed himself away from the door far enough so that he could reach her right shoulder with the b.a.l.l.s of his fingers.

”Matt, I don't want to kiss you, I'm not going-”

And then she was on his side of the Porsche, the gears.h.i.+ft jabbing her painfully in the back. She was breathing heavily, looking up at him, seeing that his face was really smeared with her lipstick.

”Well,” Matt said. ”Now we know, don't we?”

”The gears.h.i.+ft,” Susan said.

”Oh! Sorry!” he said, and she was aware they had moved on the seat, and that they were now close enough to conduct the experiment again.

And she became aware that his hand was under her blouse.

Why don't I slap his face, or at least push his hand away?

”Don't,” she ordered, and heard in her voice that it was a lie.

He kissed her again.

I've got to stop this! Why don't I just push him away?

And then she was looking at his face again, aware that she was breathing heavily. And then she was horrified to hear herself challenging, b.i.t.c.hily, ”Well, you seem to have recovered very well from your tragic loss of Penny, haven't you?”

”I've thought about that,” he replied immediately, matter-of-factly.

G.o.d, was he thinking about that, too?

”I don't think I ever loved Penny. She needed me. She was really f.u.c.ked up. I got sucked into that. It was the, quote, decent, unquote, thing to do. Doing the right thing keeps getting me in trouble.”

What did he say? ”She needed me. She was really f.u.c.ked up. I got sucked into that”?

He looked down at her again.

”Don't be a b.i.t.c.h, Susan.”

”Sorry,” she heard herself say, and that sounded very honest to her ears.

He kissed her again, and this time she became aware that the hand that had been on her breast was now between her legs.

Oh, G.o.d, I'm all wet! He'll know!

She freed herself violently, and sat erect in her seat and put her clothes in order.

My bra is loose. Did he unfasten it?

”I am not going to do this in a car,” she said righteously.

”Sorry, I got carried away,” he said.

That sounded sincere.

Matt opened his door and got out of the car.

What's this? What's he doing?

He walked around the rear of the Porsche and opened her door.

If he thinks I'm just going to go in there and have dinner . . .

She swung her feet out of the Porsche and got out.

She looked at his lipstick-smeared face, then for a moment into his eyes, and then quickly averted hers.

I'm not going in there with him looking like that!

She took the crisp white handkerchief from the breast pocket of his suit jacket and rubbed at his lips. When the lipstick didn't want to come off, she spat on his handkerchief and resumed rubbing with it.

I can't believe I did that.

”All right,” she said finally.

He nodded and took her elbow and led her through a rear entrance into the hotel building, and down a corridor into, finally, the lobby. She saw a green neon arrow and the word ”Restaurant.”

G.o.d, my hair must be a mess, and my face is probably as smeared with lipstick as his was and everybody in the restaurant will see.

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