Chapter 28 (2/2)

Zhang Yuan laughed. “You want to F2 me?”

He Luo’s expression was stern. “Why not? But can you give up your career here?”

Zhang Yuan said nothing.

He Luo smiled wanly. “I too can’t give up my future. My university admission was also the result of my efforts. If our efforts are going to end up like foam, then we might as well forget the world [in difficult circ.u.mstances, help each other with what little we have, even if it sometimes includes giving up our obsession to meet the new world].”

“Why can’t we roam the world together?” Zhang Yuan caught up to He Luo, standing beside her. “No matter how many years it take, I can wait for your return.”

“Did I say I would return?” He Luo looked at the sky desolutely. “The world is too wide, we’ve long become estranged. Don’t you get it?”

Dad was teaching He Luo how to drive. She was in a daze. She would sometimes forget to turn on the turn signal. When she stopped the car, she would not stop in line. When she started the car, the engine would die.

“Stop, stop. You’re not paying attention. This is too dangerous!” Dad sighed. “Luo Luo, do you have anything on your mind? You’re so sad the past few months.”

“Who told you I’m sad?” He Luo was still stubborn.

“You’re our daughter. How could we not be able to tell? Your mom and I treat you like our precious baby. When you’re unhappy, we also won’t be happy. All these years, we’ve never let you be this unhappy. We’ve also never seen you force your smile like this.” Dad hesitated for a moment, as if he was making a difficult decision. “I once said you can’t let a boy interfere with your choice of a lifetime. But you’re our baby. When we see you this exhausted, mom and I don’t feel happy at all. Forget it. If you love him, just go. It doesn’t matter if you don’t go overseas or can’t get a job, dad will support you.”

He Luo’s vision blurred momentarily. She stopped the car aside and collapsed at the steering wheel, sobbing. “Daddy, it’s impossible. There’s no more hope for us.”

At the end of May, Zhang Yuan came to Beijing and asked He Luo when she was leaving. “I’ll go send you off, is that okay?”

“No. I’ll be going to emba.s.sy to get my visa in two days. I don’t want to argue with you again. It will affect my mood,” she said.

Cai Man Xin had finished her interns.h.i.+p and persuaded He Luo to go on a trip with her after she got her visa. When she refused, Cai Man Xin panicked. “You still want to see him? Hurry up and leave this sad place!”

He Luo smiled mournfully. “Leave? I’ll be chased out of this place soon. It’s better to just die cruelly and mercilessly like this, lest I have any illusions after I’m overseas.”

“You mean, you still have illusions previously?”

“No.” He Luo shook her head. “But perhaps I would think of the past and reminisce.”

The United States emba.s.sy was packed with people and the air-conditioning was left on full blast. He Luo only wore a short-sleeved t-s.h.i.+rt, she was breaking out in gooseb.u.mps all over. She smiled as she answered the visa officer’s questions. Since she was on a full scholars.h.i.+p to a famed university and spoke fluent English, the officer smiled and said, “Go to Window 10, good luck!”

Outside the emba.s.sy, the weather was 40 degrees. Holding the visa, she stood on the street, the comfort of air-conditioning slowly disappearing. The sun was blazing above her, the shadow at her feet was shrinked into a small figure. There was endless people who came over and asked, “How is the situation today?” There were even people stuffing flyers into He Luo’s hands. In the moment she felt dizzy, a hand pulled her over under the shade. Something cool was placed on her forehead.

Zhang Yuan’s slender figure was wrapped in backlight. Both his hands were holding a large bottle of yoghurt drink. “Your favourite drink in original flavour.”

After the anger had dissipated, any argument had become pointless. The two of them no longer continued to be stubborn with each other. Zhang Yuan wanted to call for a taxi but He Luo wanted to go on the bus to see the scenery around their hometown. Fortunately, there were few people on the bus. She leaned against the window, feeling the breeze in her face. The ruthless future caused her to feel stuffy and out of breath.

This bus was not in the path to He Luo’s university. The two of them got off at the terminal. They didn’t take another bus and only walked on. When they pa.s.sed a sports inst.i.tute, Zhang Yuan pointed at the climbing wall inside. “This is much shorter than the one in your campus. Do you want to try climbing?”

“I don’t like risky things.” He Luo shook her head.

Zhang Yuan smiled. His hand on the edge of the fence, he easily turned over. He easily climbed to the top. He didn’t wear any protective gear, there wasn’t anything to restrict him. He Luo smiled.

A few children who were playing basketball came over, staring at Zhang Yuan as they shouted, “Big brother, hurry up and come down. It’ll hurt if you fall. Big sister will worry.”

He Luo was holding Zhang Yuan’s phone and wallet, her heart unbelievably heavy. Forgetting the world and forgetting the time, she only wanted to greedily remember today’s suns.h.i.+ne, sweat, and that calmness at the end.

He Luo departed from the Beijing International Airport. Zhang Yuan didn’t go and send her off. He only asked Li Yun Wei to hand He Luo a letter. When she opened it, it was his drawing of a cartoon. A little octopus was carrying a sign that said, “The Ten Commandments of the Octopus [Zhang Yu].”

1) Stop eating sweet stuff. A girl as wide as boxes couldn’t get past the boarding gate.

2) Stop staying up. The same girl with dark circles and red eyes.

The list went on.

The last one was simple, like a few fan-like gingko leaves falling in the autumn. He wrote, “Stop losing confidence in yourself. I believe in you like I believe in myself.”

Words she had once told him, now that it had returned to her, her heart ache. She took out her phone, opened the draft box, and read the sentence in it repeatedly: “The one I like you is still you.”

She deleted the text and turned off her phone.

Yesterday was something that, other than the 64 kg baggage limit the airline had set, she could not bring with her.

The plane travelled through thick clouds, over 30,000 ft high across the ocean. Flying over the horizon, the sound of conversation in the plane gradually quieted. A middle-aged blonde woman asked kindly, “Miss, it’s time for rest. Can I pull down the shutters?”

He Luo nodded. The last rays of suns.h.i.+ne in the hemisphere eventually died. When the last gleam of golden light disappeared, a heavy heart sank in the boundless deep sea.

She could no longer hold in her tears and allowed them to flow freely.

That day, standing at the intersection of their parting, the sunset was red and brilliant.

Zhang Yuan had asked, “Are we just going to say goodbye like this?”

“Yes. From now on, let’s both…” He Luo’s voice languished as she continued, “...respectively seek our own happiness in the future.”

She could no longer go on. She avoided Zhang Yuan’s outstretched hands and turned around, hailing a taxi. She did not turn to see him rooted in his place, his figure getting smaller and smaller in the rear-view mirror.

From now on, they will be flying on their own.

Let the past be the past. It was too late for her to start falling for him all over again.

Just let it be.

Let us part.

Forget everything.

<script>