Chapter 12 (1/2)
Chapter 12: Loving You Makes Me Courageous
The rain poured endlessly, through leaking into her house through gaps [metaphor].
She had entered into the state of cold war with her parents and now even Zhang Yuan was intentionally avoiding her. She had not seen him properly for two days straight. He Luo felt she was pressed from all sides.
When results for the mathematics periodic test was revealed, He Luo did very badly. Even homeroom teacher Lin Shu Zhen was incredibly surprised and told her to see her in her office. She asked, “You actually left two major questions unanswered, what’s wrong? The mathematics teacher even boasted that you’re doing increasingly well.”
“People make mistakes sometimes,” He Luo mumbled her excuses. “I’ll now go and see the mathematics teacher for guidance.”
“Don’t leave, don’t leave.” Lin Shu Zhen stopped her. “Is there something else going on that has affected your mood?”
He Luo pressed her lips into a thin line.
“Don’t a.s.sume that just because I’m in the background, I know nothing. I know everything that you guys talk about.” Lin Shu Zhen looked a little smug. “You’re all a bunch of overgrown children. It’s nothing more than today he and she are dating and the next [another] he and she have gotten back together. I am someone who has gone through that stage of life too.”
“Do you think we are wrong?” He Luo asked. She was not satisfied, she felt wronged. Isn’t your husband also a high school cla.s.smate? Truly the winner becomes the king and the loser becomes the rebel.
“There is no one inherently wrong in this matter. But if it affects your studies, then the matter is wrong.” Lin Shun Zhen explained, “You’re all good children, don’t make the matter complicated. I have also opened an eye, and closed another. Why do you have to score so badly in your exams, and let this be an ammo to other teachers and parents? If I don’t talk to you now, wouldn’t I be an accomplice too?”
Lin Shu Zhen was doubtlessly correct. The tests and exams need the signature of a parent. He Luo didn’t have the guts to just ask a random uncle on the street and mimic her father’s signature. So when she showed Dad the results, she saw how red his face was. His eyebrows were knitted tightly together. He only sighed but before he could say anything, He Luo interrupted. “Dad, don’t say anything. I know what you want to say.”
Naturally he would earnestly plead for her to go to Wellesley, considering that her current relations.h.i.+p was already affecting her results.
He Luo returned to her own room and slammed her door shut. She grabbed the stack of newly bought mathematics revision books sitting on her desk. What Hai Dian [school’s name], Hua Gang, Dong Bei third school – she really wanted to tear them all to pieces. Inside, she secretly said, Fine, fine. You all want me to go to America, then I don’t even have to sit for the university entrance examination. I will play around for this entire year and get a bunch of zeros for the exams, and see if Wellesley still want me!
But she couldn’t bear to do anything to the new revision books. Will she really give up like this? And give up on her future completely? And be unable to look up in front of her parents and teachers? And just let them protest her relations.h.i.+p and grow further apart from Zhang Yuan each day?
Li Yun Wei complained, “He Luo, you’re getting more boring. You don’t even play with us anymore and don’t talk to my seatmate. Each day you’re only facing your mathematics books, endlessly accompanying them.”
Tian Xin said, “Ai, the two of them have some conflict. You should argue in the front of the bed, reconcile at the end. Why do you treat each other like invisible every day?” As soon as she finished, she immediately jumped away, fearing He Luo rus.h.i.+ng to her and squeezing her cheeks. A proper young girl who suddenly became a snout under He Luo’s claws, that would really destroy her image.
He Luo only raised an eyebrow at her. “I’m going to the library.”
“Hey, Zhang Yuan and the others are having a match in the court. Aren’t you going to support him?” Tian Xin yelled after her.
“It’s useless.” Bai Lian helplessly shook her head. “But she actually talked to me for half an hour yesterday.”
“What did she say?”
“Hyperbola, parabola, coordinate transformation, polar coordinate.”
When she walked past the basketball court, He Luo hesitated in her steps. Must not see, must persevere! Hugging her books tightly to her chest, she cheered herself up. Not watching him play today is so that there would be more opportunities to watch him play in the future!
But she was still unable to stop herself. Before she entered the library, very briefly she searched for a glimpse of him. It was not difficult to find him on the court, even as far away as he was. She was unable to trace his features this far away but his every little movement was deeply imprinted in her mind. It was as if her eyes were radars, targeting him in the shortest time possible.
Intently, she watched with longing.
An examination that had to be done in 120 minutes took He Luo almost three hours. Further, there was a question worth 20 marks that she was unable to solve. She did not move at all as she studied. Only when she was packing up did she realise her legs were all numb.
7 pm. There was still a faint trace of light. In the court there was still a silhouette of a boy shooting hoops. It took only a brief glance for her to see who it was.
“Come over and play!” Zhang Yuan yelled.
“It’s already this dark, I can’t see well!”
“Come and loosen your muscles. You’ve been daydreaming these few days, you look like you’re going to rust anytime to me.”
“I’m not daydreaming, I’m doing questions!” He Luo lifted the ball and threw it into the hoop. The ball hit the frame and rebounded with a loud clang.
“You’re obviously daydreaming. You don’t talk either.”
“It’s you who don’t talk to me!” He Luo was angry. “Fine, fine. Then do you have anything to tell me?”
Zhang Yuan asked, “Have you seen s.p.a.ce Jam? Inside there was a line that said when you make a wish as you dunk, that wish will come true.”
He Luo retrieved the ball, dusted it, and shot again. All three did not made it in. “Waste of my time. I’m leaving.”
“Do you know why you couldn’t get it in?” Zhang Yuan held the ball next to his waist. “You used too much strength and did not angle it properly. In the first place girls have lesser strength, they have to be gentle and aim at an exact angle, pointing at the hoop. Your eyesight has to be further [t/n: double meaning].”
“I’m short-sighted, I can’t see far,” He Luo replied. “What are you trying to say?”
“Do you what wish did I make earlier?” Zhang Yuan smiled.
She shook her head and thought, is it that you don’t want me to go to Wellesley?
“My wish is that in the future I can watch Jordan play in the NBA live with you. Worse comes to worst, you can go to America first. I will apply again after graduating university. Isn’t it just four years? You will definitely come home in between, won’t you?” Zhang Yuan said. “Do you believe in me? Do you in believe in yourself?”
He Luo softly nodded, and then shook her head again. In her opinion, her feelings were as firm as they can be but why do they have to part? Must they experience the pain of longing after separation?
He continued, “I know you did badly in your tests this time. I will help you catch up. If I caused any obstacles to your future, I can’t bear the consequences.”
He Luo was angered. “You didn’t talk to me the past few days, it’s because you’re afraid of bearing the responsibility for asking me to stay, isn’t it?”
“Such words are truly hurtful.” Zhang Yuan kept a poker face. “This responsibility is too heavy. I can’t afford to provide for you… you’re such a glutton.”
The both of them stared at each other for a moment before laughing.
She said, “You wanted to say that my eyesight is short and narrow, isn’t it? I have already thought about it. From today onwards I want to put more effort into my studies. If I can manage to get into Tsing Hua University, maybe I won’t have to attend Wellesley anymore.”
“I won’t give my opinion. I will only support your decision.” Zhang Yuan said, “These few days I stopped myself from talking to you, so that I won’t influence your decision.”
“Then why are you waiting for me here today?”
“I’m worried that you would spit fire after not being able to do your questions and then set the library on fire.”