79 Chapter 78. (1/2)

(POV Chu Yue)

Stupid random earthquake, I just want to sleep and dream about master. Are even the heavens plotting against my dreams? Give me a break.

After I was startled out of my mind and fell off my bed due to the unexpected earthquake, I couldn't fall asleep again. Since that was the case I figured I'd surf the net a bit so I headed over to the usual manga cafe to waste some time. I really don't want to practice such unfeminine death metal screams.

For some reason I felt like an author running away and procrastinating under the pressure of his incoming self imposed deadline.

However, I was not avoiding my work, this was all for the sake of educational purposes. Yes, this was research. I am a woman of high standards. How can I let this tiny wall known as death metal block my path? Thus I searched up in g*ogle, ”how to death metal.”

The first result was a video so I opened it up. What I found was a guy holding an electric guitar. He gave a few simple instructions on the notes to play. At the end he was even nice enough to provide a phone number if one wanted to find out more about death metal, it was ”1-800-YOU-STFU.”

”...”

”Like hell you're nice! Are you kidding me?!”

Ugh, next. The second video left me even more confused. It was something about drums being cats, books, 'pings dings tings' and later on about an electric guitar and 'banana, bun, quack.'

Wow, death metal is so deep. Don't be deceived by my hollow eyes clearly showing my lack of understanding. I'm not raging on the inside or anything either.

What the hell is all of that nonsense even supposed to mean?!

Whatever, what's important is the scream, yes, the scream. I changed up my search query to ”how to death metal scream.” Finally I got some more serious results compared to my first unsuccessful search query. I looked through a few different videos and came to an understanding.

Death metal screams were actually a lot harder than I first thought. I might actually have a talent for it when I consider how successful I was earlier. It might just be thanks to being a cultivator and having better control over my body though.

There were some instructional videos that broke down the various death metal screams step by step. I had a pen and paper with me so I took down the important points like a good student.

After I finished with the boring research I figured it was time to take a break. Naturally I started searching for cat pictures to soothe my weary soul. However, as time went on I fell further and further into depravity and found myself at a very strange part of the internet. I had heard rumours of this weird part of the internet.

I won't go into much detail, but whoever made this stuff should just die. I might be a bit scarred, I don't think I want to see another cat again. Why would harmless cats become so daring and perverse?

I closed all those obscene cat pictures and with renewed vigor I started to research further on even more perverse cat pictures, I mean death metal. Ehem. I misthought just now.

I listened to the many different types of screams and how to make them until I felt confident enough to practice them myself.

In the deepest satanic death metal voice I could muster, I screamed out a few practice lines, ”I will donate money to charity. I will help old grandmas cross the road. I will give you compliments. I will end your world... poverty.”

”Pfft. What the hell? It sounds so stupid.”

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Ah. I forgot it was a manga cafe and got a bit carried away.

I felt embarrassed to stick around after my slip, so I quickly left the room. I can't practice here after all or I will probably get kicked out or at the worst banned.

As usual, on my way out, there was a large group of people staring at me in secret. They likely thought I didn't notice them, but they were dealing with a cultivator with heightened senses. However, this time, among the crowd, there were three suspicious individuals sitting together near the exit that were covertly throwing occasional glances towards my direction.

When I examined them closer, they appeared to be a bunch of weaklings so I paid no attention to them. Even if they wanted to pick a fight, I normally wouldn't give them the time of day.

Ignoring them, I left the manga cafe and made my way down the street and turned into an alleyway. After I reached ten meters into the alley I climbed up a ladder to a suspended staircase and waited.

A few minutes later the three suspicious individuals from the manga cafe entered the alleyway. I was hidden behind a metal sheet and peeking through a hole curious as to why they were following me.

When they were directly below me they conveniently stopped like it was the work of some god. Well, of course they didn't, they just kept walking forward because there were no such convenient events in this world.

Since there were no such convenient events, I stood up from behind the cover of the steel plate and asked, ”why are you creepers following me?”

They froze startled in place and awkwardly turned around. I wasn't really worried about what they would do, but it was a bit creepy being followed like this.

I jumped down from the staircase and landed directly in front of them. With my eyes narrowed and locked on them, I pushed further for a response from them. No lie would slip past someone like me who was far above them in cultivation base.

”Well? Who sent you to follow me?”

”W-w-we're not really following you in particular or anything like that. I-i-it's not like we're your fans or anything either. Don't get cocky. We don't think you're cute either, you ugly! Don't get ahead of yourself.”

Ugh. What a pain. That was the response of the tsundere sounding nerd in the middle. What the hell? Ugly? Me? Fans? Whose?

”Uhh. So you're actually fans of mine?”

”Who're your fans? We're not fans. Are you deaf? Hmmp!”

”Okay… so if you're really not fans, why are you stalking me?”

”Con.. wo… rls.. t.”

The nerd on the right who wore a black baggy sweater with his hood up mumbled something I couldn't quite make out. I was a bit impressed, to be able to speak quiet enough for a cultivator like me to not hear, could he actually be extremely talented?

”Speak up so I can hear you.”

”Constru… wor… gir... re… hot.”

”Damn it, louder maggot!”

”Construction worker girls are hot!”

Ha?

”I'm sorry, I don't think I quite understand. Is there something wrong with your heads? You know I'm actually an idol in training, right?”

”You are?”

”Yes.”

”Who cares about that? Your main job is as a construction worker, right?”

”No. I'm just a part timer. Idol work is what I plan to make my main job. I also plan to quit construction work as soon as possible.”

””What?! Why?!””

They looked pretty heartbroken when I said that. It appeared as though their entire lives had just ended, like their raison d'être was cruelly taken away from them. The three of them even started to tear up.

The third stalker on the left even got down on his knees tearfully and prostrated himself before me like he were about to beg me to not quit being a construction worker. However, contrary to my expectations the words that came out of his mouth was, ”please carry me on your shoulder and treat me like I'm a sandbag at your workplace, just once is enough! I beg of you!”

”No fair! What are you doing getting one up on us?”

I shook my head robotically to try to snap myself out of it then looked at them with dead eyes and steeled my will and asked, ”sorry, I think I misheard. You actually just wanted my autograph, right?”

”Autograph? Why would we want something useless like that?”

He looked up at me from the ground with eyes that felt like they would pierce the heavens in retaliation towards the dumbest question he had ever heard. I can kill this guy, right? It's not a crime if I'm so disgusted I feel threatened. It's considered self defense, right?

What's with that overly defiant look you scumbag? Do I really have to consider these clowns my first fans? A tsundere, a creeper who mumbles everything he says, and a down right pervert with bizarre masochistic fetishes?

Umu. I decided to do the only natural thing. Let's just leave and act like we saw nothing. I don't have such fans. Yep, none. I'm just a little idol in training minding her own little business. Escaping from reality was really the only possible solution to my crisis.

As soon as they realized I was leaving they naturally tried to cut me off and block my path. Nope, if that's what anyone thought, we'd both be wrong. They just silently recollected themselves and with dead serious faces like they were going to war, they started to openly follow behind me like following me was their calling.

Am I actually a commander heading to war or something? Do we have some sort of unspoken understanding here? No this is definitely wrong.

Once I turned the corner and I was out of their line of sight I sprinted away at the fastest speed possible. They were too creepy, I'd really rather not even touch them. I'm a girl okay, there are certain lines I'm not willing to cross. What does that creeper mean, ”carry him around like a sandbag anyways?” It's probably better I don't know.

After I lost the three stalkers, since I was already out, I figured I'd grab some things to bring back home to eat during the week. I came to a stop outside a convenience store nearby and took a deep breath.

In truth, aside from food, I had an ulterior motive as well and I needed to prepare my heart. After a few moments of silence I braved through my nervousness and strut in with a confident expression. I picked up a few random fashion magazines and some boxed meals before I came to a stop in front of a certain section.

I looked left and right to make sure the coast was clear before I squat down and started the inspect the goods in front of me. I first discovered these items through a pop up advertisement online. When I researched further, I understood it was an essential to have when in a world without alchemy. Herbs that were common in my world for alchemy were very uncommon in this world, in fact nearly none existed. Although there was birth control in this world, it was only effective on those below the mortal realm due to the low level ingredients used.

A woman must always be prepared for battle. Yes, in front of me now was an essential item that I would like to call by code name, the Trojan horse. Who knew how long I'd be in this pocket realm, what if a convenient emergency situation arises where there could be some development with master? Also, if I get him to let his guard down, due to the false sense of security of this thin barrier of protection, and I secretly poke a tiny hole in it, wouldn't that be perfect? He'll have no way to escape from taking responsibility.

I'm just kidding, an innocent little girl like me would never think of doing such a devious thing. Please don't misunderstand me to be a diabolical scheming woman. Just to be clear, the smile stretching from one ear to the other on my face is one of pure innocence.

(POV Megumi)

This girl is definitely scheming something. What are you looking all happy while purchasing a box of condoms and hiding it among food and fashion magazines? Do you really think I'm blind?

I've naturally been observing her the whole day to see how she would spend it. In the end she just went to a manga cafe, studied a bit, got stalked, confronted her stalkers, ran away, then went to buy miscellaneous goods along with condoms on her way back home. Hasn't she gotten a bit too used to this realm?

Not only that, but this brat still has the energy to have designs for my husband when I'm running her ragged? Should I intensify her training? What about getting her a gig on the international space station? She'd then have to get training as an astronaut as well. Haha, I'll call the program death metal idols in space. Oh well, she'll need to go up to the moon at some point anyways. Might as well start her training sooner rather than later.

(POV Chu Yue)