54 Chapter 53. (1/2)
(POV crown prince, Ten Jo)
When I opened my eyes what came into view were cold metal bars. Having lived a life of luxury I couldn't quite believe my eyes so I rubbed them to make sure I was really seeing things correctly.
When I came to understand this was reality and not a dream, the first thing I thought was... I'm free? No more forced cultivation? No more acting like a arrogant crown prince? Could this be heaven?
Can I just stay in this room for the rest of my life and not do anything anymore? I don't ever have to lift a finger again? No more hard problems involving politics?
No more father to beat my ass senseless whenever I mess up or say something stupid?
No more aides, retainers, or attendants secretly thinking of me as an idiot and making snide remarks behind my back?
No more father to beat my ass senseless? Yes this was the most important part. Hence the need to emphasize it twice.
This is a prison, right? It's the place I've always dreamed of!
Isn't this the life I've always wished to live?
I couldn't stop my tears from flowing down my cheeks as I revealed the happiest smile I had ever shown in my entire life.
If I could stay here forever, wouldn't that be great?
”Hey, buddy there's no need to cry, is there? I understand for a first timer it may be a bit scary, but I'll have you know, it is your lucky day to come to the shangri la known as prison where meals are free. You don't have to do any work and you can sleep all day and not worry about having to find a place to shelter yourself against the harsh winter nights alone on the streets.”
”Mister, you don't need to tell me, my good man. It has been my dream since I was a child to come to this place. To have my dreams come true, you can't understand how moved I am at this moment.”
”Eh? Is this kid actually a pervert or something. Kid, don't tell me you want to drop the soap.”
”What? What does that mean?”
The beggar like man sitting on the bench across from me opened his eyes wide like he couldn't believe what I just said.
”Kid don't tell me you've never watched a movie before? Even a beggar like me has seen and heard things.”
”Old man what are you talking about?”
”Kid trust me, whatever you do. When you are taking a shower… do not drop the soap. If you do happen to drop it, if someone from behind you asks you if you are going to pick it up… do not pick it up! I'll repeat this since it's important, but at all costs, you must never bend over to pick it up with someone behind you.”
”But it would be such a waste of soap, wouldn't it? I may not look like it, but I am a rather frugal prince. I will save and cut costs anywhere and everywhere I can.”
”A prince? Kid… are you actually an uke?”
”Eh? What's that?”
”It's fine if you don't know. Just don't go around spouting about being a prince here. You won't have a good time.”
”Old man where are we anyways?”
”Well it's natural you don't know, you were tossed into this jail cell while you were unconscious. We are presently in the slammer downtown”
”Kid, what are you even in here for?”
”Uh I took someone's car after winning a fight with them and drove off at high speed. At some point I took a heavy hit from my left side and eventually passed out when the car was sent flying through the air.”
”I see, in summary, you held someone up, beat them down, stole their car and drove off. You likely got chased by the cops and then got into a car accident. From the sounds of it, you probably got hit by a truck to be sent flying through the air like that.”
”Kid, aren't you actually hot stuff?”
”Not bad kid. If you were aiming for prison, that should get you quite a bit of time in here.”
”I'd never have the guts to pull that off. The most I could do was pissing on public property and indecent exposure. I spent a majority of my time flashing my junk out to pedestrians passing by.”
”I'll have you know, I was pretty famous. I even had quite a few titles.”
”The little elephant that could.”
”The helicopter man.”
”The worm.”
”The little brother every woman wants to get a bite out of.”
”The endowed one.”
”Gifted one punch shiner.”
”The list goes on, but I am pretty well off if I do say so myself.”
This pervert kept boasting on and on about how disgusting he was, it was to the point where I regretted ever talking to him.
”Hey, losers. It's time for your meals.”
The old man in front of me started salivating and his expression turned serious. He said, ”kid, don't blame me, blame yourself for being too weak.”
The old man got up and jumped towards me with a hand looking like he was about to karate chop me from behind my neck.
I opened my eyes wide at his sudden change in attitude when the food was suddenly brought. Old man, I don't even want it that badly. It's just prison food, it's not like it's fine cuisine. Not that I know what that tastes like anyways. I was forced to eat fasting pills day in and day out. You think as a crown prince I would have tasted an unimaginable amount of delicacies, but reality is cruel.
Before I could get out a single word, the old man, who in my eyes was incredibly slow, whom I thought was aiming for behind my neck raised his other hand while I was busy watching his hand that formed into a karate chop.
Before I realized what happened, two fingers penetrated deep into my eye sockets leaving me completely blinded.
”What the hell?! You dirty old fart! Why were you acting all strong when you were just going to play dirty and poke me in the eyes.”
”Kid, prison may be nice, but it's only nice to those with the power to take the resources they want. I've been kind enough to give you this lesson early on. Never let your guard down in the world of prisons. It's a rat eat dog type of world.”
”What? Don't you mean dog eat dog?”
”Ha! Moron! The intelligent scheming rat will be the one to triumph over the idiotic panting dog any day.”
”I see.”
While I was busy rubbing my eyes that were throbbing in pain. Ugh. So humiliating, to be taught a lesson by a 2nd realm mortal. It's a good thing no one I knew was around to see that.
”Crown prince?”
”Eh?”
When I regained my vision what came into view was a familiar muscular black man with a thirsty look on his face.
Ugh. Don't tell me my short lived heavenly prison life is about to end so quickly. It can't be they are already sending people to break me out.
Damn, I was just starting to enjoy being able to talk like a normal person too.
”Hmmp! It's about time you morons came to bail me out. What took you so long?”
”Ah. Sorry crown prince. There were a few complications that came up.”
”Where is that useless incompetent aide of mine? That fool Hosa Kan better get his ass over here soon.”
”Boss, sorry to inform you, but the break out party only consists of me.”
”What?”
”Why?”
”It's complicated.”