45 Chapter 44. (1/2)

Safe! Hahaha, I'm safe! You hear me? I hate baseball! I'll never play that sport ever again. It's too scary!

Naturally escaping my disciple was a indication of a grand slam home run in my books! I couldn't help but feel that the whole concept was reverse from what it should be though.

Was everything actually some sort of sick twisted joke about baseball? Shouldn't a home run be the opposite of running away from the girl?

There's definitely something wrong with this world. It's all your fault little brother, heavens up above! I know it! You can't escape my eyes you sick fudge face!

Smite me down if I am wrong!

Nothing? For real? No. It can't be. Maybe he's just on vacation today. I was too afraid to ask again so I decided to keep my thoughts off of it for now.

What if everything I was doing was all mandated by the heavens? Maybe I was just a puppet of some sort in all of this and I was simply dancing in the palm of their hand.

Scary! That couldn't be possible, it's not like this is one of those stories in those novels I like to read. It definitely can't be that.

While I was distracted like this, I had managed to make it far enough away that my disciple was no longer in sight. I changed out of my robes and as soon as I finished changing my wife appeared by my side.

She didn't look happy in the slightest. Haaaah, I'm an idiot. How am I messing up our first date this badly? It already started off poorly and it is just getting worse as time goes by.

What's a poor sucker like me supposed to do at this point to turn things around? Well whatever, let's just enter the amusement park already. It's about time.

She was definitely dissatisfied and she didn't say anything to me since coming back. She gave me the silent treatment. It was only now I thought of something.

I pulled out my phone and opened the system shop. I bought chocolates and a guitar from the shop. I had absolutely no musical talent, I had no idea why I would even buy this stupid thing, but it was better than nothing right now.

I needed a miracle and I was grabbing at straws at this point.

I tapped on my wife's shoulder who hadn't bothered to spare a single glance in my direction since she returned.

She didn't bother to turn around. What am I supposed to do? I can't really give you chocolate if you won't even look my way, can I?

It looks like the only hope for a musically challenged person like me is this guitar. Yeah, that made a lot of sense right? Blame my flustered brain that does not know how to sooth his wife.

When I held it up into a position to play it, for some reason it felt really natural. I had never played a guitar before, but for some reason it felt like I knew how to play this one.

But that was as far as it went. Lyrics were another thing altogether. I'm definitely no song writer.

I could only start strumming out a melody. When my wife heard it, I saw her ears perk up a bit.

Seeing it was slightly effective my confidence in this idea increased ever so slightly.

I decided to just sing whatever came to my mind.

”My wife…”

”I'm no song writer…”

”I'm only a mu-si-cal-ly challenged man.”

”If you laugh…”

”You lose…”

”So don't you dare laugh at your husbands gifted singing talent.”

”I'm sorry…”

”What? You may ask me for…”

”Well to be honest, it's really quite simple.”

”It's obviously for my tone deaf ears and off pitch voice.”

”Pft hahaha. What the hell was that supposed to be? Were you trying to get me to drop my panties and push you down with that?”

”Naturally. What else would I use this guitar for if not that?”

”Are you still mad at me?”

”Yes.”

I handed over chocolate to her and said, ”how about now?”

”Are you bribing me?”

”Yes.”

”Then I'm a little less mad now.”

”Your cute when you get a bit jealous.”

”Hmm? Am I? I'm curious what you'd look like when you're jealous.”

”Please don't say that while you're stuffing your face with chocolate.”

”Ah. My wife, you've got something on you cheek.”

”Where?”

”Is it here?”

”No the other side.”

”Not there, but there.”

”Husband, get it for me.”

Naturally I was waiting for that. I gave her the completely wrong directions just for this. I moved in close to her face and licked the bit of chocolate at the side of her lip.

”Husband… when did you get so cunning?”

”My wife, I've always been cunning. I even had the cunning idea to die once and guilt trip you into marrying me.”

”I'll have you know it was really hard to hold my breath to the point where I died so I could ask you to take responsibility.”

”Husband, don't try hiding the fact that you just forgot to breath.”

Like this I managed to somehow placate my wife's anger. I'd say I managed that rather skillfully if I do say so myself. I actually felt a bit proud that I learned how to manage my wife a bit better. This date wasn't as big a failure as I thought.

Well this is still only the beginning.

I still need to figure out how we can spend the rest of our time on this date. We're at an amusement park after all.

We should at least go on a few rides, but would a normal amusement park really be able to entertain a god?

”Husband, husband, what is that?”

”Oh, it's a roller coaster. Do you want to go on that one first?”