Part 46 (1/2)

Mr. Verdant Green had also a dozy idea that he was guided into a carriage by a hand that lay lovingly upon his arm; and, that he shook a variety of less delicate hands that there were thrust out to him in hearty northern fas.h.i.+on; and, that the two cracked old bells of Lasthope Church made a lunatic attempt to ring a wedding peal, and only succeeded in producing music like to that which attends the hiving of bees; and, that he jumped into the carriage, amid a burst of cheering and G.o.d-blessings; and, that he heard the carriage-steps and door shut to with a clang; and that he felt a sensation of being whirled on by moving figures, and sliding scenery; and, that he found the carriage tenanted by one other person, and that person, his WIFE.

”My darling wife! My dearest wife! My own wife!” It was all that his heart could find to say. It was sufficient, for the present, to ring the tuneful changes on that novel word, and to clasp the little hand that trembled under its load of happiness, and to press that little magic circle, out of which the necromancy of Marriage should conjure such wonders and delights.

The wedding breakfast - which was attended, among others, by Mr. and Mrs. Poletiss (~nee~ Morkins), and by Charles Larkyns and his wife, who was now

”The mother of the sweetest little maid That ever crow'd for kisses,”-

the wedding breakfast, notwithstanding that it was such a substantial reality, appeared to Mr. Verdant Green's bewildered mind to resemble somewhat the pageant of a dream. There was the usual spasmodic gaiety of conversation that is inherent to bridal banquets, and toasts were proclaimed and honoured, and speeches were made - indeed, he himself made one, of which he could not recall a word. Sufficient let it be for our present purpose, therefore, to briefly record the speech of Mr. Bouncer, who was deputed to return thanks for the duplicate bodies of bridesmaids.

Mr. Bouncer (who with some difficulty checked his propensity to indulge in Oriental figurativeness of expression) was understood to observe, that on interesting occasions like the present, it was the custom for the youngest groomsman to return thanks on behalf of the bridesmaids; and that he, not being the youngest, had considered himself safe from this onerous duty. For though the task was a pleasing one, yet it was one of fearful responsibility. It was usually regarded as a sufficiently difficult and hazardous experiment, when one single gentleman attempted to express the sentiments of one single lady; but when, as in the present case, there were ten single ladies, whose unknown opinions had to be conveyed through the medium of one single gentleman, then the experi-

[AN OXFORD FRESHMAN 313]

ment became one from which the boldest heart might well shrink. He confessed that he experienced these emotions of timidity on the present occasion. (~Cries of ”Oh!”~) He felt, that to adequately discharge the duties entrusted would require the might of an engine of ten-bridesmaid power. He would say more, but his feelings overcame him. (~Renewed cries of ”Oh!”~) Under these circ.u.mstances he thought that he had better take his leave of the subject, convinced that the reply to the toast would be most eloquently conveyed by the speaking eyes of the ten blooming bridesmaids. (~Mr.

Bouncer resumes his seat amid great approbation.~)

Then the brides disappeared, and after a time made their re-appearance in travelling dresses. Then there were tears and ”doubtful joys,” and blessings, and farewells, and the departure of the two carriages-and-four (under a brisk fire of old shoes) to the nearest railway station, from whence the happy couples set out, the one for Paris, the other for the c.u.mberland Lakes; and it was amid those romantic lakes, with their mountains and waterfalls, that Mr.

Verdant Green sipped the sweets of the honeymoon, and realized the stupendous fact that he was a married man.

The honeymoon had barely pa.s.sed, and November had come, when Mr.

Verdant Green was again to be seen in Oxford - a bachelor only in the University sense of the term, for his wife was with him, and they had rooms in the High Street. Mr. Bouncer was also there, and had prevailed upon Verdant to invite his sister f.a.n.n.y to join them and be properly chaperoned by Mrs. Verdant. For, that wedding-day in Northumberland had put an effectual stop to the little gentleman's determination to refrain from the wedded state, and he could now say with Bened.i.c.k, ”When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married.” But Miss f.a.n.n.y Green had looked so particularly charming in her bridesmaid's dress, that little Mr.

Bouncer was inspired with the notable idea, that he should like to see her playing first fiddle, and attired in the still more interesting costume of a bride. On communicating this inspiration (couched, it must be confessed, in rather extraordinary language) to Miss f.a.n.n.y, he found that the young lady was far from averse to a.s.sisting him to carry out his idea; and in further conversation with her, it was settled that she should follow the example of her sister Helen (who was ”engaged” to the Rev. Josiah Meek, now the rector of a Worcesters.h.i.+re parish), and consider herself as ”engaged” to Mr.

Bouncer. Which facetious idea of the little gentleman's was rendered the more amusing from its being accepted and agreed to by the

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young lady's parents and ”the Mum.” So here was Mr. Bouncer again in Oxford, an ”engaged” man, in company with the object of his affections, both being prepared as soon as possible to follow the example of Mr. and Mrs. Verdant Green. Before Verdant could ”put on his gown,” certain preliminaries had to be observed. First, he had to call, as a matter of courtesy, on the head of his College, to whom he had to show his Testamur, and whose formal permission he requested that he might put on his gown.

”Oh yes!” replied Dr. Portman, in his monosyllabic tones, as though he were reading aloud from a child's primer; ”oh yes, cer-tain-ly! I was de-light-ed to know that you had pa.s.s-ed and that you have been such a cred-it to your col-lege. You will o-blige me, if you please, by pre-sent-ing your-self to the Dean of Arts.” And then Dr. Portman shook hands with Verdant, wished him good morning, and resumed his favourite study of the Greek particles.

Then, at an appointed hour in the evening, Verdant, in company with other men of his college, went to the Dean of Arts, who heard them read through the Thirty-nine Articles, and dismissed them with this parting intimation - ”Now, gentlemen! <vg314.jpg> I shall expect to see you at the Divinity School in the morning at ten o'clock. You must come with your bands and gown, and fees; and be sure, gentlemen, that you do not forget the fees!” So in the morning Verdant takes Patty to the Schools, and commits her to the charge of Mr. Bouncer, who conducts her and Miss f.a.n.n.y to one of the raised seats in the Convocation House, from whence they will have a good view of the conferring of Degrees. Mr. Verdant Green finds the

[AN OXFORD FRESHMAN 315]

precincts of the Schools tenanted by droves of college Butlers, Porters, and Scouts, hanging about for the usual fees and old gowns, and carrying blue bags, in which are the new gowns. Then - having seen that Mr. Robert Filcher is in attendance with his own particular gown - he struggles through the Pig-market,* thronged with bustling Bedels and University Marshals, and other officials. Then, as opportunity offers, he presents himself to the senior Squire Bedel in Arts, George Valentine c.o.x, Esq., who sits behind a table, and, in his polite and scholarly manner, puts the usual questions to him, and permits him, on the due payment of all the fees, to write his name in a large book, and to place ”Fil. Gen.”+ after his autograph. Then he has to wait some time until the superior Degrees are conferred, and the Doctors and Masters have taken their seats, and the Proctors have made their apparently insane promenade.++