Part 43 (1/2)
[294 ADVENTURES OF MR. VERDANT GREEN]
Flexible Shanks returned, escorting between them the poker. It was cold! that was a relief. But how long was it to remain so?
”Past Grand Hodman!” said Mr. Blades, ”instruct the neophyte in the primary proceedings of the Cemented Bricks.”
At Mr. Bouncer's bidding, Mr. Verdant Green then sat down upon the lozenged floor, and held his knees with his hands. Mr. Flexible Shanks then brought to him the poker, and said, ”Tetrao urogallus orygometra crex!” The poker was then, <vg294.jpg> by the a.s.sistance of Mr. Foote, placed under the knees and over the arms of Mr. Verdant Green, who thus sat like a trussed fowl, and equally helpless.
”Recite to the neophyte the oath of the Cemented Bricks!” said Mr.
Blades.
”Ramphastidinae toco scolopendra tinnunculus cracticornis bos!”
exclaimed Mr. Flexible Shanks.
”Do you swear to obey through fire and water, and bricks and mortar, the words of this oath?” asked Mr. Blades from his throne.
”You must say, I do!” whispered Mr. Bouncer to Mr. Verdant Green, who accordingly muttered the response.
”Let the oath be witnessed and registered by Swordbearer and Deputy Past Pantile, Provincial Grand Mortar-board, and Past Grand Hodman!”
said Mr. Blades; and the three gentlemen thus designated stood on either side of and behind Mr. Verdant Green, and, with theatrical gestures, clashed their swords over his head.
”Keemo kimo lingtum nipcat! let him rise,” said Mr.
[AN OXFORD FRESHMAN 295]
Blades; and the poker was thereupon withdrawn from its position, and Mr. Verdant Green, being untrussed, but somewhat stiff and cramped, was a.s.sisted upon his legs.
He hoped that his troubles were now at an end; but this pleasing delusion was speedily dispelled, by Mr. Blades saying - ”The next part of the ceremonial is the delivery of the red-hot poker. Let the poker be heated!”
Mr. Verdant Green went chill with dread as he watched the terrible instrument borne from the room by Mr. Foote and Mr. Flexible Shanks, while Mr. Bouncer resumed his guard over him with the drawn sword.
All was quiet save a smothered sound from the other side of the door, which, under other circ.u.mstances, Verdant would have taken for suppressed laughter; but, the solemnity of the proceedings repelled the idea.
At length the poker was brought in, red-hot and smoking, whereupon Mr. Blades left his throne and walked to the other end of the room, and there took his seat upon a second throne, before which was a second altar, garnished - as Mr. Verdant Green soon perceived, to his horror and amazement - with a human head (or the representation of one) projecting from a black cloth that concealed the neck, and, doubtless, the marks of decapitation. Its ghastly features were clearly displayed by the aid of a wax light placed in a tall silver candlestick by its side.
Mr. Blades received the poker from Mr. Foote, and commanded the neophyte to advance. Mr. Verdant Green did so, and took up a trembling position to the left of the throne, while Mr. Foote and Mr.
Flexible Shanks proceeded to the organ, which was to the right of the entrance door. Mr. Blades then delivered the poker to Mr. Verdant Green, who, at first, imagined that he was required to seize it by its red-hot end, but was greatly relieved in his mind when he found that he had merely to take it by the handle, and repeat (as well as he could) a form of gibberish that Mr. Blades dictated. Having done this he was desired to transfer the poker to the Past Grand Hodman - Mr. Bouncer.
He had just come to the joyful conclusion that the much dreaded poker portion of the business was now at an end, when
[296 ADVENTURES OF MR. VERDANT GREEN]
Mr. Blades ruthlessly cast a dark cloud over his gleam of happiness, by saying - ”The next part of the ceremony will be the branding with the red-hot poker. Let the organist call in the aid of music to drown the shrieks of the victim!” and, thereupon, Mr. Foote struck up (with the full swell of the organ) a heart-rending air that sounded like ”the cries of the wounded” from ~the Battle of Prague~.
Now, it happened that little Mr. Bouncer - like his sister - was subject to uncontrollable fits of laughter at improper seasons. For the last half-hour he had suffered severely from the torture of suppressed mirth, and now, as he saw Mr. Verdant Green's climax of fright at the antic.i.p.ated branding, human nature could not longer bear up against an explosion of merriment, and Mr. Bouncer burst into shouts of laughter, and, with convulsive sobs, flung himself upon the nearest seat. His example was contagious; Mr. Blades, Mr. Foote, and Mr. Flexible Shanks, one after another, joined in the roar, and relieved their pent-up feelings with a rush of uproarious laughter.
At the first Mr. Verdant Green looked surprised, and in doubt whether or no this was but a part of the usual proceedings attendant upon the initiation of a member into the Lodge of Cemented Bricks. Then the truth dawned upon him, and he blushed up to his spectacles.
”Sold again, Giglamps!” shouted little Mr. Bouncer. ”I didn't think we could carry out the joke so far, I wonder if this will be hoax the last for Mr. Verdant Green?”