Part 22 (2/2)

The Putney Pet stared. If the Rev. Thomas Tozer had asked him for the name of his Academy, he would have been able to have referred him to his s.p.a.cious and convenient Sparring Academy, 5, Cribb Court, Drury Lane; but the inquiry <vg155.jpg> for his ”College,” was, in the language of his profession, a ”regular floorer”. Mr. Blades, however, stepped forward, and explained matters to the Proctor, in a satisfactory manner.

”Well, well!” said the pacified Mr. Tozer to the Pet; ”you have used your skill very much to our advantage, and displayed pugilistic powers not unworthy of the athletes, and xystics of the n.o.blest days of Rome. As a palaestrite you would have gained palms in the gymnastic exercises of the Circus Maximus. You might even have proved a formidable rival to Dares, who, as you, Mr.

Blades, will remember, caused the death of Butes at Hector's tomb.

You will remember, Mr. Blades, that Virgil makes mention of his 'humeros latos,' and says:-

'Nec quisquam ex agmine tanto Audet adire virum, manibusque inducere caestus;' *

--- * AEn., Book v., 378.

[156 THE ADVENTURES OF MR. VERDANT GREEN]

which, in our English idiom, would signify, that every one was afraid to put on the gloves with him. And, as your skill,” resumed Mr.

Tozer, turning to the Pet, ”has been exercised in defence of my person, and in upholding the authority of the University, I will overlook your offence in a.s.suming that portion of the academical attire, to which you gave the offensive epithet of 'mortar-board ;'

more especially, as you acted at the suggestion and bidding of those who ought to have known better. And now, go home, sir, and resume your customary head-dress; and - stay! here's five s.h.i.+llings for you.”

”I'm much obleeged to you, guv'nor,” said the Pet, who had been listening with considerable surprise to the Proctor's quotations and comparisons, and wondering whether the gentleman named Dares, who caused the death of beauties, was a member of the P.R., and whether they made it out a case of manslaughter against him? and if the gaining palms in a circus was the customary ”flapper-shaking” before ”toeing the scratch for business?” - ”I'm much obleeged to you, guv'nor,” said the Pet, as he made a sc.r.a.pe with his leg; ”and, whenever you ~does~ come up to London, I 'ope you'll drop in at Cribb Court, and have a turn with the gloves!” And the Pet, very politely, handed one of his professional cards to the Rev. Thomas Tozer.

A little later than this, a very jovial supper party might have been seen a.s.sembled in a princ.i.p.al room at ”the Roebuck.” To enable them to be back within their college walls, and save their gates, before the hour of midnight should arrive, the work of consuming the grilled bones and welch-rabbits was going on with all reasonable speed, the heavier articles being washed down by draughts of ”heavy.” After the cloth was withdrawn, several songs of a miscellaneous character were sung by ”the professional gentlemen present,” including, ”by particular request,” the celebrated ”Marble Halls” song of our hero, which was given with more coherency than on a previous occasion, but was no less energetically led in its ”you-loved-me-still-the-same”

chorus by Mr. Bouncer. The Pet was proudly placed on the right hand of the chairman, Mr. Blades; and, when his health was proposed, ”with many thanks to him for the gallant and plucky manner in which he had led on the Gown to a glorious victory,” the ”three times three,” and the ”one cheer more,” and the ”again,” and ”again,” and the ”one other little un!” were uproariously given (as Mr. Foote expressed it), ”by the whole strength of the company, a.s.sisted by Messrs.

Larkyns, Smalls, Fosbrooke, Flexible Shanks, Cheke, and Verdant Green.”

The forehead of the last-named gentleman was decorated with a patch of brown paper, from which arose an aroma, as

[AN OXFORD FRESHMAN 157]

though of vinegar. The battle of ”Town and Gown” was over; and Mr.

Verdant Green was among the number of the wounded.

CHAPTER V.

MR. VERDANT GREEN IS FAVOURED WITH MR. BOUNCER'S OPINIONS REGARDING AN UNDERGRADUATE'S EPISTOLARY COMMUNICATIONS TO HIS MATERNAL RELATIVE.

”COME in, whoever you are! don't mind the dogs!” shouted little Mr.

Bouncer, as he lay, in an extremely inelegant att.i.tude, in, a red morocco chair, which was <vg157.jpg> considerably the worse for wear, chiefly on account of the ill-usage it had to put up with, in being made to represent its owner's antagonist, whenever Mr. Bouncer thought fit to practise his fencing. ”Oh! it's you and Giglamps is it, Charley? I'm just refres.h.i.+ng myself with a weed, for I've been desperately hard at work.”

”What! Harry Bouncer devoting himself to study! But this is the age of wonders,” said Charles Larkyns, who entered the room in company with Mr. Verdant Green, whose forehead still betrayed the effects of the blow he had received a few nights before.

”It ain't reading that I meant,” replied Mr. Bouncer, ”though that always ~does~ floor me, and no mistake! and what's the use of their making us peg away so at Latin and Greek, I can't make out. When I go out into society, I don't want to talk about those old Greek and Latin birds that they make us get up. I don't want to ask any old dowager I happen to fall in with at a tea-fight, whether she believes all the crammers that Herodotus tells us, or whether she's well up in the naughty tales and rummy nuisances that we have to pa.s.s no end of our years in getting by heart. And when I go to a ball, and do the light fantastic, I don't want to ask my partner what she thinks about Euripides, or whether she prefers Ovid's Metamorphoses to Ovid's Art of Love, and all that sort of thing; and as for requesting her to do me a problem of

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