Part 14 (1/2)
[AN OXFORD FRESHMAN 101]
at once came to the rescue with the simple but energetic compendium of boating instruction, ”Put your oar in deep, and bring it out with a jerk!”
Bearing this in mind, our hero's efforts met with well-merited success; and he soon pa.s.sed that mansion which, instead of cellars, appears to have an ingenious system of small rivers to thoroughly irrigate its foundations. One by one, too, he pa.s.sed those house-boats which are more like the Noah's <vg101.jpg> arks of toy-shops than anything else, and sometimes contain quite as original a mixture of animal specimens. Warming with his exertions, Mr.
Verdant Green pa.s.sed the University barge in great style, just as the eight was preparing to start; and though he was not able to ”feather his oars with skill and dexterity,” like the jolly young waterman in the song, yet his sleight-of-hand performances with them proved not only a source of great satisfaction to the crews on the river, but also to the promenaders on the sh.o.r.e.
He had left the Christ Church meadows far behind, and was beginning to feel slightly exhausted by his unwonted exertions, when he reached that bewildering part of the river termed ”the Gut.” So confusing were the intestine commotions of this gut, that, after pa.s.sing a chequered existence as an aquatic shuttlec.o.c.k, and being a.s.sailed with a slang-dictionary-full of opprobrious epithets, Mr. Verdant Green caught another
[102 ADVENTURES OF MR. VERDANT GREEN]
tremendous crab, and before he could recover himself, the ”tub”
received a shock, and, with a loud cry of ”Boat ahead!” ringing in his ears, the University Eight pa.s.sed over the place where he and ”the Sylph” had so lately disported themselves.
With the wind nearly knocked out of his body by the blade of the bow-oar striking him on the chest as he rose to the surface, our unfortunate hero was immediately dragged from the water, in a condition like that of the child in ~The Stranger~ (the only joke, by the way, in that most dreary play) ”not dead, but very wet!” and forthwith placed in safety in his deliverer's boat.
”Hallo, Giglamps! who the doose had thought of seeing you here, devouring Isis in this expensive way!” said a voice very coolly. And our hero found that he had been rescued by little Mr. Bouncer, who had been tacking up the river in company with Huz and Buz and his meerschaum. ”You ~have~ been and gone and done it now, young man!”
continued the vivacious little gentleman, as he surveyed our hero's draggled and forlorn condition. ”If you'd only a comb and a gla.s.s in your hand, you'd look distressingly like a cross-breed with a mermaid! You ain't subject to the whatdyecallems - the rheumatics, are you? Because, if so, I could put you on sh.o.r.e at a tidy little shop where you can get a gla.s.s of brandy-and-water, and have your clothes dried; and then mamma won't scold.”
”Indeed,” chattered our hero, ”I shall be very glad indeed; for I feel - rather cold. But what am I to do with my boat?”
”Oh, the Lively Polly, or whatever her name is, will find her way back safe enough. There are plenty of boatmen on the river who'll see to her and take her back to her owner; and if you got her from Hall's, I daresay she'll dream that she's dreamt in marble halls, like you did, Giglamps, that night at Smalls', when you got wet in rather a more lively style than you've done to-day. Now I'll tack you up to that little shop I told you of.”
So there our hero was put on sh.o.r.e, and Mr. Bouncer made fast his boat and accompanied him; and did not leave him until he had seen him between the blankets, drinking a gla.s.s of hot brandy-and-water, the while his clothes were smoking before the fire.
This little adventure (for a time at least) checked Mr. Verdant Green's aspirations to distinguish himself on the river; and he therefore renounced the sweets of the Isis, and contented himself by practising with a punt on the Cherwell. There, after repeatedly overbalancing himself in the most suicidal manner, he at length peacefully settled down into the lounging blissfulness of a ”Cherwell water-lily;” and on the hot days,
[AN OXFORD FRESHMAN 103]
among those gentlemen who had moored their punts underneath the overhanging boughs of the willows and limes, and <vg103.jpg> beneath their cool shade were lying, in ~dolce far niente~ fas.h.i.+on, with their legs up and a weed in their mouth, reading the last new novel, or some less immaculate work, - among these gentlemen might haply have been discerned the form and spectacles of Mr. Verdant Green.
CHAPTER XI.
MR. VERDANT GREEN'S SPORTS AND PASTIMES.
ARCHERY was all the fas.h.i.+on at Brazenface. They had as fine a lawn for it as the Trinity men had; and all day long there was somebody to be seen making holes in the targets, and endeavouring to realize the ~pose~ of the Apollo Belvidere; - rather a difficult thing to do, when you come to wear plaid trousers and s.h.a.ggy coats. As Mr.
Verdant Green felt desirous not only to uphold all the inst.i.tutions of the University, but also to make himself acquainted with the sports and pastimes of the place, he forthwith joined the Archery and Cricket Clubs. He at once inspected the manufactures of Muir and Buchanan; and after selecting from their stores a fancy-wood bow, with arrows, belt, quiver, guard, tips, ta.s.sels, and grease-pot, he felt himself to be duly prepared to
[104 ADVENTURES OF MR. VERDANT GREEN]
represent the Toxophilite character. But the sustaining it was a more difficult thing than he had conceived; for although he thought that it would be next to impossible to miss a shot <vg104-1.jpg> when the target was so large, and the arrow went so easily from the bow, yet our hero soon discovered that even in the first steps of archery there was something to be learnt, and that the mere stringing of his bow was a performance attended with considerable difficulty. It was always slipping from his instep, or twisting the wrong way, or threatening to snap in sunder, or refusing to allow his fingers to slip the knot, or doing something that was dreadfully uncomfortable, <vg104-2.jpg> and productive of perspiration; and two or three times he was reduced to the abject necessity of asking his friends to string his bow for him.
But when he had mastered this slight difficulty, he found that the arrows (to use Mr. Bouncer's phrase) ”wobbled,” and had a predilection for going anywhere but into the target, notwithstanding its size; and unfortunately one went into the body of the Honourable Mr. Stormer's favourite Skye terrier, though, thanks to its s.h.a.ggy coat and the bluntness of the arrow, it did not do a great amount of mischief; nevertheless, the vials of Mr. Stormer's
[AN OXFORD FRESHMAN 105]
wrath were outpoured upon Mr. Verdant Green's head; and <vg105-1.jpg> such ~epea pteroenta~ followed the winged arrow, that our hero became alarmed, and for the time forswore archery practice.
As he had fully equipped himself for archery, so also Mr. Verdant Green, (on the authority of Mr. Bouncer) got himself up for cricket regardless of expense; and he made his first appearance in the field in a straw hat with blue ribbon, and ”flannels,” and spiked shoes of perfect propriety. As Mr. Bouncer had told him that, in cricket, att.i.tude was every thing, Verdant, <vg105-2.jpg> as soon as he went in for his innings, took up what he considered to be a very good position at the wicket. Little Mr. Bouncer, who was bowling, delivered the ball with a swiftness that seemed rather astonis.h.i.+ng in such a small gentleman. The first ball was ”wide;” nevertheless, Verdant (after it had pa.s.sed) struck at it, raising his bat high in the air, and bringing it straight down to the ground as though it were an executioner's axe. The second ball was nearer to the mark; but it came in with such swiftness, that, as Mr. Verdant Green was