Part 5 (2/2)

”Certainly, sir,” said the robe-maker, who stood bowing and smirking before them, - as Hood expressively says,

”Was.h.i.+ng his hands with invisible soap, In imperceptible water;”-

”certainly, sir, if you wish it: but it will scarcely be necessary, sir; as our custom is so extensive, that we keep a large ready-made stock constantly on hand.”

”Oh, that will do just as well,” said Mr. Green; ”better, indeed.

Let us see some.”

”What description of robe would be required?” said the smirking gentleman, again making use of the invisible soap; ”a scholar's?”

”A scholar's!” repeated Mr. Green, very much wondering at the question, and imagining that all students must of necessity be also scholars; ”yes, a scholar's, of course.”

A scholar's gown was accordingly produced: and its deep, wide sleeves, and ample length and breadth, were soon displayed to some advantage on Mr. Verdant Green's tall figure. Reflected in a large mirror, its charms were seen in their full perfection; and when the delighted Mr. Green exclaimed, ”Why, Verdant, I never saw you look so well as you do now!” our hero was inclined to think that his father's words were the words of truth, and that a scholar's gown was indeed becoming.

The ~tout ensemble~ was complete when the cap had been added to the gown; more especially as Verdant put it on in such a manner that the polite robe-maker was obliged to say, ”The hother way, if you please, sir. Immaterial perhaps, but generally preferred. In fact, the shallow part is ~always~ the forehead, - at least, in Oxford, sir.”

While Mr. Green was paying for the cap and gown (N.B. the money of governors is never refused), the robe-maker smirked, and said, ”Hexcuse the question; but may I hask, sir, if this is the gentleman that has just gained the Scotland Scholars.h.i.+p?”

”No,” replied Mr. Green. ”My son has just gained his matriculation, and, I believe, very creditably; but nothing more, as we only came here yesterday.”

[AN OXFORD FRESHMAN 45]

”Then I think, sir,” said the robe-maker, with redoubled smirks, - ”I think, sir, there is a leetle mistake here. The gentleman will be hinfringing the University statues, if he wears a scholar's gown and hasn't got a scholars.h.i.+p; and these robes'll be of no use to the gentleman, yet awhile at least. It <vg045.jpg> will be an undergraduate's gown that he requires, sir.”

It was fortunate for our hero that the mistake was discovered so soon, and could be rectified without any of those unpleasant consequences of iconoclasm to which the robe-maker's infringement of the ”statues” seemed to point; but as that gentleman put the scholar's gown on one side, and brought out a commoner's, he might have been heard to mutter, ”I don't know which is the freshest, - the freshman or his guv'nor.”

When Mr. Verdant Green once more looked in the gla.s.s, and saw hanging straight from his shoulders a yard of blueish-black stuff, garnished with a little lappet, and two streamers whose upper parts were gathered into double plaits, he regretted that he was not indeed a scholar, if it were only for the privilege of wearing so elegant a gown. However, his father smiled approvingly, the robe-maker smirked judiciously; so he came to the gratifying conclusion that the commoner's gown was by no means ugly, and would be thought a great deal of at the Manor Green when he took it home at the end of the term.

Leaving his hat with the robe-maker, who, with many more smirks and imaginary was.h.i.+ngs of the hands, hoped to be favoured with the gentleman's patronage on future occasions, and begged further to trouble him with a card of his establishment, - our hero proceeded with his father along the High Street, and turned round by St.

Mary's, and so up Cat Street to the Schools, where they made their way to the cla.s.sic

[46 ADVENTURES OF MR. VERDANT GREEN]

”Pig-market,”* to await the arrival of the Vice-Chancellor. When he came, our freshman and two other white-tied fellow-freshmen were summoned to the great man's presence; and there, in the ante-chamber of the Convocation House,+ the edifying and imposing spectacle of Matriculation was enacted. In the first place, Mr. Verdant Green took divers oaths, and sincerely promised and swore that he would be faithful and bear true allegiance to her Majesty Queen Victoria. He also professed (very much to his own astonishment) that he did ”from his heart abhor, detest, and abjure, as impious and heretical, that d.a.m.nable doctrine and position, that princes excommunicated or deprived by the pope, or any authority of the see of Rome, may be deposed or murdered by their subjects, or any other whatsoever.” And, having almost lost his breath at this novel ”position,” Mr. Verdant Green could only gasp his declaration, ”that no foreign prince, person, prelate, state, or potentate, hath, or ought to have, any jurisdiction, power, superiority, pre-eminence, or authority, ecclesiastical or spiritual, within this realm.” When he had sufficiently recovered his presence of mind, Mr. Verdant Green inserted his name in the University books as ”Generosi filius natu maximus”; and then signed his name to the Thirty-nine Articles, - though he did not endanger his matriculation, as Theodore Hook did, by professing his readiness to sign forty if they wished it! Then the Vice-Chancellor concluded the performance by presenting to the three freshmen (in the most liberal manner) three brown-looking volumes, with these words: ”Scitote vos in Matriculam Universitatis hodie relatos esse, sub hac conditione, nempe ut omnia Statuta hoc libro comprehensa pro virili observetis.” And the ceremony was at an end, and Mr. Verdant Green was a matriculated member of the University of Oxford. He was far too nervous, - from the weakening effect of the popes, and the excommunicate princes, and their murderous subjects, - to be able to translate and understand what the Vice-Chancellor had said to him, but he

--- * The reason why such a name has been given to the Schools'

quadrangle may be found in the following extract from ~Ingram's Memorials:~ ”The schools built by Abbot Hokenorton being inadequate to the increasing wants of the University, they applied to the Abbot of Reading for stone to rebuild them; and in the year 1532 it appears that considerable sums of money were expended on them; but they went to decay in the latter part of the reign of Henry VIII, and during the whole reign of Edward VI. The change of religion having occasioned a suspension of the usual exercises and scholastic acts in the University, in the year 1540 only two of these schools were used by determiners, and within two years after none at all. The whole area between these schools and the divinity school was subsequently converted into a garden and ~pig-market~; and the schools themselves, being completely abandoned by the masters and scholars, were used by glovers and laundresses.”

+ ”In apodyterio domui congregationis.”

[AN OXFORD FRESHMAN 47]

thought his present to be particularly kind; and he found it a copy of the University Statutes, which he determined forthwith to read and obey.

Though if he had known that he had sworn to observe statutes which required him, among other things, to wear garments only of a black or ”subfusk” hue; to abstain from that absurd and proud custom of walking in public ~in boots~, and the ridiculous one of wearing the hair long;* - statutes, moreover, which demanded of him to refrain from all taverns, wine-shops, and houses in which they sold wine or any other <vg047.jpg> drink, and the herb called nicotiana or ”tobacco”; not to hunt wild beasts with dogs or snares or nets; not to carry cross-bows or other ”bombarding” weapons, or keep hawks for fowling; not to frequent theatres or the strifes of gladiators; and only to carry a bow and arrows for the sake of honest recreation;+ - if Mr. Verdant Green had known that he had covenanted to do this, he would, perhaps, have felt some scruples in taking the oaths of matriculation. But this by the way.

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