Part 2 (1/2)
The next that came to the bar was a certain king, who had lived very near to Rome. ”Hold up your hand, prisoner,” said one of the officers. ”I hope,” said he, ”that you have some better manners and favour to show to a king.” ”Sirrah,” said Death, ”why did you not keep on the other side of the gulf where all are kings? On this side there is none but myself, and another down below, and you will soon see, that neither he nor I will rate you according to the degree of your majesty, but according to the degree of your wickedness, in order to adapt your punishment to your crimes, therefore answer to the interrogation.” ”Sir,” he replied, ”I would have you know, that you have no authority to detain me, nor to interrogate me, as I have a pardon for all my sins under the Pope's own hand. On account of my faithful services, he has given me a warrant to go straight to Paradise, without tarrying one moment in Purgatory.” At these words the king and all the haggard train gave a ghastly grin, to escape from laughing outright; but the other full of wrath at their ridicule, commanded them aloud to show him the way. ”Peace, thou lost fool!” cried Death, ”Purgatory lies behind you, on the other side of the wall, for you ought to purify yourself during your life; and on the right hand, on the other side of that gulf is Paradise. But there is no road by which it is possible for you to escape, either through the gulf to Paradise, or through the boundary wall back to the world; and if you were to give your kingdom, (supposing you could give it,) you would not obtain permission from the keepers of those doors, to take one peep through the key hole. It is called the irrepa.s.sable wall, for when once you have come through you may abandon all hope of returning. But since you stand so high on the books of the Pope, you shall go and prepare his bed, beside that of the Pope who was before him, and there you shall kiss his toe for ever, and he the toe of Lucifer.”
Immediately thereupon, four little deaths raised the poor king up, who was by this time s.h.i.+vering like the leaf of an aspen, and s.n.a.t.c.hed him out of sight like lightning. Next after him came a young fellow and woman. He had been a jolly companion and she a lady of pleasure, or one free of her person; but they were called here by their naked names, drunkard and harlot. ”I hope,” said the drunkard, ”I shall find some favour with you; I have sent to you many a bloated booty in a torrent of good ale; and when I failed to kill others, I came myself, willingly, to feed you.” ”With the permission of the court,” said the harlot, ”you have not sent half as much as I, and my offerings were burning sacrifices, rich roast meat ready for the board.” ”Hey, hey!” said Death, ”all this was done for your own accursed pa.s.sions' sake and not to feed me. Bind the two face to face, as they are old acquaintances, and cast them into the land of Darkness, and let each be a torment to the other, until the day of judgment.” They were then s.n.a.t.c.hed away, with their heads downwards.
Next to these there came seven recorders. Having been commanded to raise their hands to the bar, they would by no means obey, as the rails were greasy. One began to wrangle boisterously; ”we ought to obtain a fair citation to prepare our answer;” said he, ”instead of being rushed upon unawares.”
”But are we bound to give you that same specific citation,” answered Death, ”since you obtain in every place, and at every period of your life, warning of my coming. How many sermons have you not heard upon the mortality of man? How many books have you not seen? How many graves, how many sculls, how many diseases, how many messages and signs have you not had? What is your Sleep, but my own brother? What are sculls, but my visage? What does your daily food consist of but dead creatures? Seek not to cast your neglect upon me. Speak not of summons, when you have obtained it a hundred times.” ”Pray,” said one red recorder, ”what have you to advance against us?” ”What?” said Death. ”Drinking the sweat and blood of the poor, and levying double your wages.” ”Here is an honest man,” replied the recorder, pointing to a pettifogger behind him, ”who knows that we have never done any thing but what was fair; and it is not fair of you to detain us here, without a specific crime to prove against us.” ”Hey, hey!” said Death, ”you shall prove against yourselves. Place these people,” said he, ”on the verge of the _precipice_ before the tribunal of _Justice_, they shall obtain equity there though they never practiced it.”
There were still seven other prisoners remaining, and these kept up a prodigious bustle and noise. Some were flattering, others quarrelling, some bl.u.s.tering, some counselling, &c. Scarcely had they been called to the bar, when lo! the entire palace became seven times more horribly dark than before, and there was a s.h.i.+vering and a great agitation about the throne, and Death became paler than ever. Upon enquiring what was the matter, one of the messengers of Lucifer stepped forward with a letter for Death, concerning these seven prisoners, and Fate presently caused the letter to be read publicly, and these were the words, as far as I can remember.
”_Lucifer_, _King of the kings of the world_, _prince of h.e.l.l_, _and ruler of the Deep_, _to our natural son_, _the most mighty and terrible king Death_, _greeting_, _pre-eminence_, _and eternal spoil_.
”For as much as we have been informed by some of our nimble messengers, who are constantly abroad to obtain information, that seven prisoners, of the seven most villainous and dangerous species in the world, have arrived lately at your royal palace, and that it is your intention to hurl them over the cliff into my kingdom. I hereby counsel you to try every possible means, to let them loose back again upon the world; they will do you there more service in sending you food, and sending me better company, for I would rather want than have them; we have had but too much plague with their companions for a long time, and my dominion is still disturbed by them. Therefore turn them back, or keep them with you. For, by the infernal crown, if you send them here, I will undermine the foundations of your kingdom, until it falls down into my own immense dominion.
”_From the burning hall of a.s.sembly_, _at our royal palace in the pit of h.e.l.l_, _in the year of our reign_, 5425.”
King Death, hereupon, stood for some time with his visage green and pale, in great perplexity of mind. But whilst he was meditating, behold _Fate_, turned upon him such an iron-black scowl, as made him tremble.
”Sirrah,” said he, ”look to what you do. It is not in my power to send any one back, through the boundary of eternity, the irrepa.s.sable wall, nor in yours to harbour them here; therefore forward them to their destruction, in spite of the Arch Fiend. He has been able hitherto, in a minute to allot his proper place to every individual, in a drove of a thousand, nay, even of ten thousand captured souls; and what difficulty can he have with seven, however dangerous they may be. But though these seven should turn the infernal government topsy-turvy, do you drive them thither instantly, for fear I should receive commands to annihilate you before your time. As for _his_ threats, they are only lies; for although thy end, and that of the old man yonder, (looking at Time,) are nigh at hand, being written only a few pages further on, in my unerring volume, yet you have no cause to be afraid of sinking to Lucifer; though every one in the abyss would be glad to obtain thee, yet they never, never shall. For the rocks of steel and eternal adamant, which form the roof of h.e.l.l, are too strong for anything to crumble them.” Whereupon, Death, considerably startled, called to one of his train, to write for him the following answer.
”_Death_, _the king of Terror and Conqueror of conquerors_, _to his revered friend and neighbour Lucifer_, _king of Eternal Night_, _sovereign of the Bottomless Pool_, _sends greeting_.
”After due reflection on your regal desire, it has appeared to us more advantageous, not only to our own dominion, but likewise to your own extensive kingdom, to send these prisoners, as far as possible from the doors of the irrepa.s.sable wall, lest their putrid odour should terrify the whole city of Destruction, so that no man should come to all eternity, to my side of the gate; and neither I obtain any thing to cool my sting, nor you a concourse of customers from earth to h.e.l.l.
Therefore I will leave to you to judge them, and to hurl them into such cells, as you may deem the most proper and secure for them.
”_From my nether palace in the great gate of Perdition_, _over Destruction_. _In the year_, _from the renewal of my kingdom_, 1670.”
At hearing all this, I felt a great curiosity to know who these seven people could be, whom the devils themselves held in so much dread. But ere a minute had elapsed, the clerk of the crown called their names, as follows:--Master Meddler, alias _Finger in Every Dish_; but he was so vehement and busy in advising the others, that he could not get a moment's time to answer for himself, until Death threatened to transfix him with his dart.
Then _master Slanderer_ was called, alias _Enemy of Fair Fame_; but there was no answer. ”He is too modest to hear his t.i.tles,” said the third, ”and he never can bear his nicknames.” ”Do you suppose,” said the _Slanderer_, ”that you yourself have no _t.i.tles_. Call for,” said he, ”_master c.o.xcomb_, alias _Smooth Gullet_, alias _Poison Smile_.” ”Ready,”
said a woman who was there, pointing to the c.o.xcomb. ”O,” said he, ”_madam Bouncer_! Your humble servant, I am overjoyed at seeing you well. I have never seen a woman look handsomer in breeches. But, oh! to think how miserable the country must be behind you, for want of its admirable she-governor; yet your delightful company will make h.e.l.l itself something better.” ”O son of the arch fiend!” said she. ”With you there is no need of another h.e.l.l, you are yourself enough.” Then the cryer called _Bouncer_, or _mistress Breeches_. ”Ready,” said another. But she said not a word, for want of being called madam. Next was called _Contriver of Contrivances_, alias _Jack of all Trades_; but he returned no answer either, for he was busied in devising a way to escape. ”Ready, ready,” said one behind, ”here he is, looking out for an opportunity to break through your palace, and unless you take care, he will have some notable contrivance to baulk you.” Said the Contriver, ”call him, I beseech you, _master Impeacher of his Brother_, alias _Searcher of Faults_, alias _Framer of Complaints_.” ”Ready, ready, this is he,” said a litigious pettifogger, for every one knew the name of the other, but would not acknowledge his own. ”You shall be called,” said the Impeacher, ”_master Litigious Pettifogger_, alias _the Courts Comprised_.” ”Bear witness, I pray you all,” said the Pettifogger, ”as to what the knave called me.” ”Ho, ho!” said Death, ”not by the baptismal font, but by his sins, is every one called in this country; and, with your permission, master Pettifogger, the names of your sins are those which shall stick to you henceforth for ever.” ”Hey,” said the Pettifogger, ”I swear by the Devil that I will make you smart for this.
Though you are empowered to kill me, you have no authority to bestow nicknames upon me. I will file a complaint against you for defamation, and another for false imprisonment, against you and your friend Lucifer, in the court of Justice.”
By this time, I beheld the legions of Death, formed in order and armed, with their eyes fixed upon the king, awaiting the word. ”There,” said the king, standing erect upon his regal throne, ”my terrible and invincible hosts, spare neither care nor diligence in removing these prisoners from out of my boundaries, lest they prove the ruin of my country; cast them bound, over the precipice of Despair, with their heads downward. But for the seventh, this Courts Comprised, who threatens me, leave him free over the chasm, beneath the court of _Justice_, and let him try whether he can make his complaint good against me.” Then Death reseated himself. And lo! all the deadly legions, after surrounding the prisoners and binding them, led them away to their couch. I also went out, and peeped after them. ”Come away,” said Sleep, and s.n.a.t.c.hed me up to the top of the highest turret of the palace. Thence I could see the prisoners proceeding to their eternal perdition. Presently a whirlwind arose, and dispersed the pitch-black cloud, which was spread universally over the face of the land of Oblivion, and by the light of a thousand candles, which were burning with a blue flame, at a particular place, I obtained a far distant view of the verge of the _Bottomless Gulf_, a sight exceedingly horrible; and also of a spectacle above, still more appalling, namely _Justice_ upon his _supreme seat_, holding the keys of h.e.l.l, at a separate and distinct tribunal over the chasm, to p.r.o.nounce judgment upon the d.a.m.ned as they came. I could see the prisoners cast headlong down the gulf, and Pettifogger rus.h.i.+ng to fling himself over the terrific brink, rather than look once on the court of _Justice_. For oh!
there was there a spectacle too severe for a guilty countenance. I merely gazed from _afar_, but I beheld more terrific horror, than I can at present relate, or I could at that time support, for my spirit struggled and fluttered at the awful sight, and wrestled so strenuously, that it burst all the bands of Sleep, and my soul returned to its accustomed functions. And exceedingly overjoyed I was to see myself still amongst the living. I instantly determined upon reforming myself, as a hundred years of affliction in the paths of righteousness, would be less harrowing to me, than another glance on the horrors of this night.
Death the Great.
Leave land and house we must some day, For human sway not long doth bide; Leave pleasures and festivities, And pedigrees, our boast and pride.
Leave strength and loveliness of mien, Wit sharp and keen, experience dear; Leave learning deep, and much lov'd friends, And all that tends our life to cheer.
From Death then is there no relief?
That ruthless thief and murderer fell, Who to his shambles beareth down All, all we own, and us as well.
Ye monied men, ye who would fain Your wealth retain eternally, How brave 'twould be a sum to raise, And the good grace of Death to buy!
How brave! ye who with beauty beam, On rank supreme who fix your mind, Should ye your captivations muster, And with their l.u.s.tre king Death blind.
O ye who are at foot most light, Who are in the height now of your spring, Fly, fly, and ye will make us gape, If ye can scape Death's cruel fling.