Part 19 (1/2)
”I hope yes is the right answer.”
”It's the right answer. I'll take my clothes off if you take the sheets off.”
I threw the covers off and the king sat next to me on the bed again.
”Now I'm going to tie you to the bed,” the king said.
”How come?”
”You said I could do anything I wanted.”
I couldn't argue with that, so I held up my hands and he held out a golden rope.
It didn't take long for him to tie my wrists to the big s.e.xy headboard of his bed. The ropes felt tight but not too tight on me. I could wiggle my fingers and move my hands. But I couldn't touch him, which made me want to touch him even more.
He took another rope and tied my ankles down to the bed. Once he finished I realized I couldn't close my legs. This king knew what he was doing.
Xerxes took off his jeans and I tried not to watch. Well, I didn't try very hard not to watch.
”Oh, wow,” I said once he was naked. I looked back up at the ceiling.
”Just wow?”
”Holy wow?”
”Much better.”
I moaned a little when the king stretched out on top of me. His skin felt so warm next to mine. His body was strong and muscular, and I felt safe underneath him. Who could ever hurt me now with the king like a s.h.i.+eld over me? Who could steal me now that I was tied to his bed? No one.
The king kissed my mouth again and my neck. He rubbed my b.r.e.a.s.t.s, which felt better than I ever dreamed it would. He kissed them, which was embarra.s.sing at first until I realized that it was the best thing anyone had ever done to me. He put his hand between my legs and pushed a finger inside me. I wanted to close my legs, but the ropes stopped me. But he moved his finger in and out of me and I tensed up and relaxed at the same time. He touched me for a long time until I thought I would die from wanting him so much. I couldn't touch him because he'd tied my hands. I couldn't close my legs because he'd tied my ankles. I couldn't kiss him because I couldn't rise up. All I could do was lie there and want him and want him and want him.
Then he was inside me.
”Xerxes,” I said as he pushed all the way into me.
”Good girl,” he said. He'd told me to say his name while he was inside me. I wanted to obey him. Obeying him was the most important thing.
He moved inside me and it hurt. I didn't care that it hurt, though, and I didn't want it to ever end even if it did hurt. The pain stopped but the pleasure stayed behind. I felt a storm in my stomach like lightning and thunder were throwing down inside me. My whole body crackled with electricity. I wasn't sure if electricity had been invented yet but I didn't care anymore. I only cared about Xerxes, about my king.
Xerxes lowered his head and bit my chest over my heart. I flinched from the pain.
”Why did you do that?”
”You're beautiful, and if another man sees that bruise he'll know you belong to me.”
”I belong to you,” I said. I loved those words. I loved belonging to the king. I loved it so much I said it again. ”I belong to you.”
”You're mine.”
The ceiling had lied to me. It wasn't over soon. We slept a little bit, but then we woke up and he made me his again.
At dawn I woke up in his arms. Even while I was sleeping he'd kept one of my ankles tied to the bed. I liked that he wanted to keep me in his bed, in his arms.
Then morning came, and I was mad at it for coming so soon.
Xerxes untied my ankle from the bed and helped me put my dress back on.
”I'll miss you, Xerxes.”
”I'll miss you, too, Esther. Last night was better than any song or any poem.”
”Or cardigan,” she said.
”In fact, it was so good, I think we should have a thousand more nights like that.”
”I'll be in the harem if you want me.”
”Or ...”
”Or what?”
”You could be my queen.”
Eleanor waited in the hallway outside of S0ren's office. He'd told her that if she figured out what happened between Xerxes and Esther on her audition night, she should tell him. So she rewrote her story by hand as neatly as she could, put it in a nice new folder and gave it to him. It seemed like such a great idea right up until the moment he opened the folder, started reading and shut his office door in her face.
Why had she given it to him? That whole story was ridiculous. She had Esther talking like she lived in 1993 instead of in ancient Persia, and she put the king in jeans and made him kind of funny and goofy instead of kingly. Regal. Kings were supposed to be regal. And the story ... Oh, G.o.d, she had a whole s.e.x thing going on in the story with Esther being tied to a bed while the king f.u.c.ked her.
And now her priest was reading it.
Eleanor went back to the fellows.h.i.+p hall food pantry and sorted through the donations. Why did no one ever donate Oreos? All she wanted was to eat an entire bag of Oreos and cry for a few hours while listening to Whitney Houston sing ”I Will Always Love You” on repeat. Instead she went to the bathroom and discovered she'd started her period. That explained the tears and the Oreo obsessing. Maybe it even explained her sudden moment of temporary insanity when she decided to let S0ren read her stupid Esther story.
She grabbed her backpack and sat down on the bench outside S0ren's office. If he was in there calling the men in white coats to come get her, she wanted to be on standby to knock the phone out of his hand and plead her case.
To kill time, she pulled her new math textbook out and flipped through it.
”What the holy f.u.c.k is this bulls.h.i.+t?” she yelled as she tried to decipher the precalculus before her.
S0ren's office door swung open.
”Eleanor. Inside voice.”
”Sorry,” she said. ”Math.”
”Forgiven.”
She looked up at him. He held her story in his hand.
”You're excommunicating me, aren't you?”
”Why did you write this story?” he asked.