Part 30 (1/2)
From these unfortunate alliances often arise most deplorable evils.
Vicious companions not infrequently sow the seeds of evil habits far and wide, contaminating all who come within their influence.
Whom to Avoid.--A girl will always do well to avoid a companion who is vain, idle, silly, or frivolous. Girls who have these evil characteristics are very likely to have others also which are worse.
A girl who is rude in her manners, careless in her habits, irreverent and disobedient to parents and teachers, is always an unsafe companion.
No matter how pretty, witty, stylish, or aristocratic she may be, she should be shunned. Her influence will be withering, debasing, wherever felt. A girl may be gay and thoughtless without being vicious; but the chances are ten to one that she will become sinful unless she changes her ways.
Sentimental Books.--The majority of girls love to read, but, unfortunately, the kind of literature of which they are chiefly fond is not of a character which will elevate, refine, or in any way benefit them. Story books, romances, love tales, and religious novels const.i.tute the chief part of the reading matter which American young ladies greedily devour. We have known young ladies still in their teens who had read whole libraries of the most exciting novels.
The taste for novel-reading is like that for liquor or opium. It is never satiated. It grows with gratification. A confirmed novel-reader is almost as difficult to reform as a confirmed inebriate or opium-eater.
The influence upon the mind is most damaging and pernicious. It not only destroys the love for solid, useful reading, but excites the emotions, and in many cases keeps the pa.s.sions in a perfect fever of excitement. The confessions of young women who were to all appearance the most circ.u.mspect in every particular, and whom no one mistrusted to be capable of vile thoughts, have convinced us that this evil is more prevalent than many, even of those who are quite well informed, would be willing to admit.
By reading of this kind, many are led to resort to self-abuse for the gratification of pa.s.sions which over-stimulation has made almost uncontrollable. Some have thus been induced to sin who had never been injured by other influences, but discovered the fatal secret themselves.
Mothers cannot be too careful of the character of the books which their daughters read. Every book, magazine, and paper should be carefully scrutinized, unless its character is already well known, before it is allowed to be read. In our opinion, some of the literature which pa.s.ses as standard, which is often found on parlor center-tables and in family and school libraries, such as Chaucer's poems, and other writings of a kindred character, is unfit for perusal by inexperienced and unsophisticated young ladies. Some of this literature is actually too vile for any one to read, and if written to-day by any poet of note would cause his works to be committed to the stove and the rag-bag in spite of his reputation.
Various Causes.--Bad diet, the use of stimulating and exciting articles of food, late suppers, confectionery and dainties,--all these have a very powerful influence in the wrong direction by exciting functions which ought to be kept as nearly latent as possible. The use of tea and coffee by young ladies cannot be too strongly condemned. Improper dress, by causing local congestion, often predisposes to secret vice by occasioning local excitement. Probably a greater cause than any of those last mentioned is too great familiarity with the opposite s.e.x.
The silly letters which girls sometimes allow themselves to receive from the boys and young men of their acquaintance, and which they encourage by letters of a similar character, must be condemned in the most thorough manner. Upon receiving such a letter a pure-minded girl will consider herself insulted; and has just reason for so doing. The childish flirtations which girls and boys sometimes indulge in often lead to evils of a most revolting character.
Modesty Woman's Safeguard.--True modesty and maidenly reserve are the best guardians of virtue. The girl who is truly modest, who encourages and allows no improper advances, need have no fear of annoyance from this source. She is equally safe from temptation to sin which may come to her in secret, when no human eye can behold. Maidenly modesty is one of the best qualities which any young lady can possess. A young woman who lacks modesty, who manifests boldness of manner and carelessness in deportment, is not only liable to have her virtue a.s.sailed by designing and unscrupulous men, but is herself likely to fall before the temptation to indulge in secret sin, which is certain to present itself in some way sooner or later.
This invaluable protection is speedily lost by the girl who abandons herself to secret vice. The chances are very great, also, that by degrees her respect for and love of virtue and chast.i.ty will diminish until she is open to temptations to indulge in less secret sin; and thus she travels down the road of vice until she finds herself at last an inmate of a brothel or an outcast wanderer, rejected by friends, and lost to virtue, purity, and all that a true woman holds most dear.
A Few Sad Cases.--Although we do not believe it right to harrow the feelings of those who have sinned and suffered with a rehearsal of sad cases when no good can be accomplished by such accounts, we deem it but just that those who are not yet entangled in the meshes of vice should have an opportunity of knowing the actual results of sin, and profiting by the sad experience of others. It is for this purpose that we shall mention a few cases which have come under our observation, taking care to avoid mentioning any facts which might lead to identification, as the facts we shall use were, many of them, received in strict confidence from those who were glad to unburden their hearts to some one, but had never dared to do so, even to their friends.
A Pitiful Case.--Several years ago we received a letter from a young woman in an Eastern State in which she described her case as that of an individual who had early become addicted to secret vice and had continued the vile habit until that time, when she was about thirty-two years of age. In spite of the most solemn vows to reform, she still continued the habit, and had become reduced to such a miserable condition that she would almost rather die than live. She sent with her letter photographs representing herself at twenty and at that time, so that we might see the contrast. It was indeed appalling to see what changes sin had wrought. Her face, once fair and comely, had become actually haggard with vice. Purity, innocence, grace, and modesty were no longer visible there. The hard lines of sin had obliterated every trace of beauty, and produced a most repulsive countenance. Though greatly depraved and shattered by sin and consequent disease in body and mind, she still had some desire to be cured, if possible, and made a most pitiful appeal for help to escape from her loathsome condition.
We gave her the best counsel we could under the circ.u.mstances, and did all in our power to rescue her from her living death; but whether in any degree successful we cannot tell, as we have never heard from the poor creature since.
We have often wished since that we might but show those two pictures to every girl who has been tempted to sin in this way, to all who have ever yielded to this awful vice. The terrible contrast would certainly produce an impression which no words can do. We sent them back to their wretched original, however, by her request, and so cannot show the actual pictures; but when any who read these lines are tempted thus to sin we beg them to think of these two pictures, and by forming a vivid image of them in the mind drive away the disposition to do wrong.
A Mind Dethroned.--A young lady who had received every advantage which could be given her by indulgent parents, and who naturally possessed most excellent talents, being a fine musician, and naturally so bright and witty as to be the life of every company in which she moved, suddenly began to show strange symptoms of mental unsoundness. She would sometimes be seized with fits of violence during which it was with great difficulty that she could be controlled. Several times she threatened the lives of her nurses, and even on one occasion attempted to execute her threat, the person's life being saved by mere accident. Everything was done for her that could be done, but the mania increased to such a degree of violence that she was sent to an asylum for the insane.
Here she remained for months before she became sufficiently tractable to be taken to her home and cared for by friends. Too close application to study was the cause at first a.s.signed for her mental disorder, but a careful investigation of the case revealed the fact that the terrible sin which has ruined the minds of so many promising young men and brilliant young women was the cause that led to the sad result in this case also. The punishment of sin, especially of s.e.xual sins, is indeed terrible; but the sin is a fearful one, and the penalty must be equal to the enormity of the crime. Not all young women who indulge thus will become insane, but any one who thus transgresses may be thus punished.
There is no safety but in absolute purity.
A Penitent Victim.--A young woman who had been ill for years, and whose physicians had sought in vain to cure her various ailments, until her parents almost despaired of her ever being anything but a helpless invalid, came to us for treatment, resolved upon making a last effort for health. She had grown up in utter ignorance of the laws of health and of the results of the vice of which we are writing; and having been early taught the sin, she had indulged it for a number of years with the result of producing a most terribly diseased condition of the s.e.xual organs, which had baffled the skill of all the physicians who had attended her, none of whom had ever been made acquainted with the true cause of the difficulties. When apprized of the real facts in the case, that she was alone responsible for the sad condition into which she had fallen, her eyes were opened to see the wickedness and vileness of her course. She bitterly bemoaned her past life, and heartily repented of her sins. Of the sincerity of her repentance she gave evidence in the earnest efforts which she put forth to help herself.
She spared no pains to do well all required on her part, and was soon rewarded by feeling that her diseases were being removed and health was returning. Still, she was constantly reminded of her former sins.
When the will was off its guard, during sleep, the mind, long indulged in sin, would revert to the old channels and riot in vileness. Unchaste dreams made her often dread to sleep, as she awoke from these unconscious lapses enervated, weak, and prostrated as though she had actually transgressed. But though often thus almost disheartened she continued the struggle, and was finally rewarded by gaining a perfect victory over her mind, sleeping as well as waking, and recovering her health sufficiently to enable her to enjoy life and make herself very useful.
Not a few similar cases have come under our observation; and it seems to us that the pain, anguish, and remorse suffered by these poor victims, ought to be a warning to those who have never entered the sinful road.
What a terrible thing it is for a pure and lovely being, designed by G.o.d to fulfill a high, holy, and sacred mission in the world, to become a victim to such a filthy vice! No girl of sense would in her right mind raise her hand to dash in pieces a beautiful vase, to destroy a lovely painting, or a beautiful piece of statuary. A girl who would do such a thing would be considered insane and a fit subject for a mad-house. Yet is not the human body, a girl's own beautiful, symmetrical form, infinitely better, more valuable and more sacred, than any object produced by human art? There can be but one answer.
How, then, is it possible for her thus to defile and destroy herself?
Is it not a fearful thing? a terrible vice?
A Ruined Girl.--One of the most remarkable cases of disease resulting from self-abuse which ever came under our observation was that of a young lady from a distant Western State whose adopted parents, after consulting many different physicians for a peculiar disease of the breast, placed her under our care. We found her a good-looking young woman about seventeen years of age, rather pale and considerably emaciated, very nervous and hysterical, and suffering with severe pain in the left breast, which was swollen to nearly double the natural size, hot, tense, pulsating, and extremely tender to the touch. Occasionally she would experience paroxysms in which she apparently suffered extremely, being sometimes semi-conscious, and scarcely breathing for hours. We suspected the cause of these peculiar manifestations at the outset, but every suggestion of the possibility of the suspected cause was met with a stout denial and a very deceptive appearance of innocent ignorance on the subject. All treatment was unavailing to check the disease. Though sometimes the symptoms seemed to be controlled, a speedy relapse occurred, so that no progress toward a cure was made.