Part 16 (1/2)

'Yes. She isn't.'

'Why?'

'Yes. She needs some time.' We sat not speaking for a little.

'I have to go now,' I said.

'Yes.'

As I got up and walked past Father he took my hand. 'I'm sorry, Dorothy,' he said. I should have hugged him, something, but I couldn't.

I went across Sweetheart's yard to the Dapolitos' to get a ride back with Aunt Bonnie. She was sitting in the garden with Uncle Eddie. Perry was playing by the back stoop.

'Bonnie, Judith needs to come home. You know Harry is all talk. He needs her to come back. It's making him crazy.' It was a long speech for Uncle Eddie. Aunt Bonnie sat with her usual cigarette but she wasn't drinking. She didn't drink half so much now.

'Harry has to back off the zoo. You should come, Eddie, it's - well, it's wonderful.'

'He's mad, honey. Pearl ... it's all made him a little crazy.'

Harry came round the corner. He was wearing one of his election boaters, but not with any confidence. It drooped on the back of his head and he looked terrible. I thought he was just going to sit down but as soon as he saw Bonnie he started yelling.

'What the f.u.c.k have you done to my wife? She won't f.u.c.king come home. I thought you were my friend and look at you - out there with that crazy old broad. What's the matter with you? I thought you were on my side. Hey, Eddie, you know I've been f.u.c.king your wife? You know that?' Uncle Eddie stood up real quiet but it didn't feel good. Perry had looked up at the commotion from his screaming grandfather. Now he ran to Aunt Bonnie for protection. Harry grabbed him by the arm and held the boy out to Aunt Bonnie.

'What are you doing with that n.i.g.g.e.r kid? Huh? Are you trying to wreck my life?'

'He's your flesh and blood,' yelled Aunt Bonnie.

Harry screamed back. 'He is not. Look at him, for G.o.d's sake. He is nothing to do with me.'

Uncle Eddie had his own agenda. 'Have you been sleeping with Harry?' he asked, his voice beginning to rise.

The shouting went on. I hid behind a bush and waited for it all to be over. People, grown-up people, are supposed to keep an eye on kids. That's how it's supposed to work. They're supposed to love you and make sure you're okay otherwise something might happen. In Sa.s.saspaneck all the kids went to camp. They got sent away to be looked after. All of them except me and Perry. No one was watching us. If you don't watch people then something will happen. I don't know whether Perry thought he wanted to swim or he just fell. Anyhow it seems he swam under the floating dock and never found his way up again.

It was a while before anyone noticed Perry was missing. They looked everywhere for him. Then, when it was getting dark, Uncle Eddie called out the volunteer fire brigade to help. The blasts measuring out the signal for our street hollered across the harbour and over at Main Street you could just see the lights going on at Torchinsky's. The Dapolitos' garden was all lit up with the j.a.panese lanterns Aunt Bonnie had got on special the summer before. I stood on the patio with the lanterns playing orange and red figures in the water. The night was still and it should have been real pretty. I guess after a while everyone knew Perry had to be in the water. It was Uncle Eddie who found him. Uncle Eddie, the son of a gondolier, who dragged him from the water. The tide had turned and they had been dragging a grappling hook behind the boat to stop Perry floating out to sea. We could see him pull the little guy up from the deep, his s.h.i.+ny skin glistening in the lantern light. Uncle Eddie held him in his huge arms. He came ash.o.r.e crying. For some reason that was the worst thing of all.

Harry stood watching the whole time. He never moved. Uncle Eddie walked across the lawn with Perry in his arms, tears streaming silently down his face. He got to Harry and reached out to give him the child. Harry looked down and then he turned and walked away. I was sobbing and I didn't understand. I didn't even know where Perry had gone. He never even had a chance to find his place on the list. What was that all about? I had heard about death with Billie and Phoebe and Pearl, and had even seen the dead Cressida, but this was different. Aunt Bonnie and Uncle Eddie watched Harry go. Then Aunt Bonnie reached out her arms and pulled me in. We stood for a while under the j.a.panese lanterns. In the harbour the water was still. It had done its bit.

Aunt Bonnie took me with her when she drove out to the zoo with the news. There was silence as Judith sat sewing and sewing. Sweetheart and Cosmos started weeping. Miss Strange looked very odd. Pale and angry. No one said anything till she got to her feet and went to stand in front of Judith. Judith didn't look up until Miss Strange reached out and tore her needlework from her hand. She threw it on the floor.

'You have lost your daughter and your grandson. What does it take with you?'

Judith cowered as if Miss Strange was going to hit her. 'Don't. I lost my dog. I lost my dog.' Judith reached out to pull her loyal Troilus toward her. It set Miss Strange off.

'Who gives a f.u.c.k? Stop grieving over a f.u.c.king animal. There are people involved here. What's the matter with you? Didn't he look right? Is that it? Didn't Perry look right for you? What kind of person are you? Look at me. Do looks matter so much to you? Do they?'

Sweetheart moved to stem the tide. 'Grace,' she said quietly but there was no holding Miss Strange.

'Look at me,' she demanded to Judith. 'Look at me. I never looked right for you, did I? The scary mother. Look at me!'

She grabbed Judith's face and pulled it up, drawing a thin line of blood with her fingernail as she did so. Judith looked her straight in the face and hit out. The blow came from nowhere. It hit the right side of Miss Strange's face and sent her reeling back. Judith stood shocked for a moment and then a complete change went over her face. It crumpled and she ran to Miss Strange. She knelt and put her arms around her.

'Mommy, Mommy,' she moaned as the two women clung to each other and wept and wept.

Everything was different after that. Aunt Bonnie blamed herself and she went real quiet. No one saw the funny side of anything any more. We went to the funeral together. We weren't family, Helen, Cosmos, Sweetheart, Miss Strange, Judith, Aunt Bonnie and me, but it felt like it. Uncle Eddie and Joey were the only men who turned up. Judith looked so pale and Aunt Bonnie wouldn't speak. Judith kept hugging her and telling Aunt Bonnie that it was an accident, that she was the one who had been wrong. The minister wasn't feeling too well so Cosmos said a few words.

'I would like to share with you the last words of Crowfoot, great Blackfoot warrior,' she said, clearing her throat as tears poured unbidden down her face. ”'What is life? It is the flash of the firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the gra.s.s and loses itself in the sunset.” We'll miss you, Perry. You were our family.'

Uncle Eddie and Joey carried the coffin. It wasn't easy - they were such different heights - but they gave it what dignity they could. Afterwards Uncle Eddie spoke quietly to Aunt Bonnie.

'Be careful. Harry's gone kind of crazy.'

Aunt Bonnie stroked Eddie's arm and said, 'Eddie, go up to the camp. Bring home the kids.'

Things changed after that. For example, I don't remember Judith wearing make-up again. She stopped doing all that stuff to her hair and even borrowed some pants from Helen to wear.

Maybe it was guilt - I hope so - but Harry was definitely loony after that. We got news that he was moving to enforce an order against the zoo. Miss Strange hadn't bothered with even trying for the licenses and now he was coming to close the place down. If he did then all the animals would be destroyed. We got together in the barn. Things didn't look good but Helen was driving everyone on.

'We need a plan,' she said, pacing in front of us.

'Forget it, Helen, it's hopeless,' sighed Miss Strange. Judith sat close to her mother, her head hung in despair.

'Maybe we should just give up,' agreed Judith. Sweetheart nodded and pulled her cardigan close around her.

Helen shook her head. 'We are not giving up on Artemesia and Betsy. Grace, this place is your life. You can't give up on it now. Perry wouldn't have wanted us to.'

It was not a good moment to invoke the dead. More tears followed. I thought it was a good time to tell them about my telegram.

'I made a plan,' I said. Everyone looked at me. I think sometimes they forgot I was there. 'It's a military thing.

My father told me. There was this General called Ha Ha Shepherd.'

'Ha Ha?' inquired Cosmos.

'Not now,' said Miss Strange.

'No, really. Anyway, he was supposed to take this bridge from the Germans who were advancing on it, do you see? So General Shepherd sent a telegram pretending he was the German colonel, saying don't worry about reinforcements, I've already taken the bridge. So they never came. You have to pretend that you have already won when you haven't. So anyway, I sent one to the news people.'

Sweetheart looked at me. 'Sugar, what are you talking about?'

'Well, Harry is a Republican, right? And Miss Strange said the elephant was the symbol of Harry's party. The Republican elephant? So I sent a telegram to the news people. I watch it all the time, and they like little funny stories. Sometimes they show them on Johnny Carson. I sent them a telegram from Harry saying there was no truth in the rumour he, the Mayor of Sa.s.saspaneck, was trying to destroy Artemesia, symbol of his party. In fact, he was trying to save her from the town. As they will never have heard about it I thought it might make them interested. They might send someone to check it out. Harry would have to stop and explain himself. I don't think it would look too good.'

'A telegram.' Miss Strange patted me on the head. I knew she didn't think it would work. No one was really paying much attention to me by then. Death was a big, grown-up thing and I guess they were beginning to think I should go home.

The fire siren began to blast across the water. Two then four then one. It was the signal for the zoo.

'Harry's coming,' said Helen. 'We have to do something.'

We went together to the locked entrance gates and waited. Christabel Pankhurst's words hung above our heads as we waited. Judith, Helen, Cosmos, Sweetheart, Aunt Bonnie, Miss Strange, me, the goose and the orangutan. We could hear the wail of a police car and the big fire truck approaching. Helen was sitting curled up again. She was scared. We all were.

'They can't get in, right?' asked Aunt Bonnie. 'I mean, it is locked?'