Part 17 (1/2)

--297

That whenever a negro is educated he refuses to work and becomes a criminal.

--298

That whenever an Italian begins to dress like an American and to drive a Dodge car, it is a sign he has taken to black-handing or has acquired an interest in the white-slave trust.

--299

That, in the days when there were breweries, the men who drove beer-wagons drank 65 gla.s.ses of beer a head a day, and that it didn't hurt them because it came direct from the wood.

--300

That, until the time of American intervention, the people of the Philippines were all cannibals, and displayed the heads of their fallen enemies on poles in front of their houses.

--301

That whenever a crowd of boys goes camping in summer two or three of them are drowned, and the rest come home suffering from poison ivy.

--302

That whenever a will case gets into the courts, the lawyers gobble all the money, and the heirs come out penniless.

--303

That every female moving-picture star carries on an intrigue with her leading man, and will marry him as soon as he can get rid of his poor first wife, who took in was.h.i.+ng in order to pay for his education in the art of acting.

--304

That all theatrical managers are Jews, and that most of them can scarcely speak English.

--305

That a great many of women's serious diseases are due to high French heels.

--306

That if one does not scratch a mosquito bite, it will stop itching.

--307