Part 3 (2/2)

Knowing our gifts come from G.o.d, we are not to critically appraise or look down on someone who is unable to excel at the same things we do. We definitely need to avoid pride: ”Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18). Pride is very dangerous. Many great men and women of G.o.d have fallen into sin due to pride.

Don't fall into the trap of pride, but don't go to the other extreme and think that self-rejection, self-hatred, and selfabas.e.m.e.nt is the answer. Instead, seek to be what I call an ”everything-nothing” persona”everything in Christ and nothing without Him. Jesus Himself said, ”Apart from Me . . . you can do nothing” (John 15:5). Be confident, but remember the strength that comes from confidence can quickly be lost in conceit. It is vital to remain humble. I know I can do nothing of any real value unless Christ is flowing through me. He deserves all the credit and glory for any good work that manifests through us. The apostle Paul said, ”I know that nothing good dwells within me” (Romans 7:18). In and of ourselves we can claim nothing good. Only G.o.d is good, and whatever good thing comes from us is merely a manifestation of His working through us (See Matthew 19:17). Don't fail to give G.o.d the credit for your successes.

When people compliment me, as they often do, I graciously receive their kind remarks and promptly lift them up to the Lord. I tell Him that I know exactly what I am without Him and that He is truly the One Who deserves the compliment. G.o.d shows Himself strong in those who are humble enough to allow Him to do so. Although we ourselves are nothing, we are vessels for Him to flow through: However, we possess this precious treasure [the divine Light of the Gospel] in (frail, human) vessels of earth, that the grandeur and exceeding greatness of the power may be shown to be from G.o.d and not from ourselves. (2 Corinthians 4:7) CRACKED POTS.

G.o.d works through jars of clay, or what I often call ”cracked pots.” This means we are flawed, so when people look at us and see amazing things happening, they know it must be G.o.d at work because it certainly could not be us. I believe anyone who really knows me does not have any difficulty realizing the work I am doing in the earth today certainly must be G.o.d at work in and through me. They give Him the glory, not me, because they see my imperfections and know my limitations. G.o.d chooses the weak and foolish things on purpose so no mortal can have pretense for glorying in His presence (1 Corinthians 1:2729).

Imagine a pot with a lamp in it and a lid on it. Even though it may be filled with light, no one can see the light within it. Yet if the pot is cracked, the light will s.h.i.+ne through the cracks. In this same way, G.o.d works through our imperfections.

Can you love a cracked pot? G.o.d can! It is G.o.dly to love yourself in a balanced, healthy way. It is unG.o.dly to reject and despise yourself.

SELF-ACCEPTANCE.

The Word of G.o.d instructs us to desire peaceful relations with G.o.d, with ourselves, and with our fellow man (See 1 Peter 3:11). It actually says we are not merely to desire them, but to pursue and go after them. It stresses the importance of having good relations.h.i.+ps in all three areas. I like to say that the Bible is a book about relations.h.i.+ps. It has a great deal to say about our relations.h.i.+p with G.o.d. Everything starts with the development of our relations.h.i.+p with the Father through His Son Jesus Christ. We are to be at peace with G.o.d and experience His love. G.o.d's Word also talks extensively about our relations.h.i.+ps with other people. Teachings on love, proper att.i.tudes, serving others, and giving abound in the Bible. The Bible also teaches us about the importance of having a proper att.i.tude toward ourselves. It teaches us about our relations.h.i.+p with ourselves.

Desire peaceful relations with G.o.d, with ourselves, and with our fellow man.

Do you have a critical, faultfinding att.i.tude toward yourself? If so, you are out of G.o.d's will. Paul refused to sit in judgment on himself, and he paid no attention to anyone else who did judge him: But [as for me personally] it matters very little to me that I should be put on trial by you [on this point], and that you or any other human tribunal should investigate and question and cross-question me, I do not even put myself on trial and judge myself. (1 Corinthians 4:3) Paul was confident in Christ. Because he knew he was made acceptable to G.o.d in Christ, he accepted himself. He also knew who he was in Christ. He knew where he came from, and he knew where he was headed. I am sure Paul remembered his past and how he had vehemently persecuted Christians prior to G.o.d's opening his eyes to the truth. He said himself that he had to make an effort to let go of the past and press on toward perfection. He also clarified that he did not think he had arrived (See Philippians 3:12-14). In other words, Paul did not claim perfection, but neither did he have a bad att.i.tude toward himself. He knew he made mistakes, but he did not reject and despise himself because of them.

The type of confidence we see displayed by Paul is very freeing. It reminds us that Jesus died so we could be free: ”So if the Son liberates you [makes you free men], then you are really and unquestionably free” (John 8:36).

G.o.d wanted so much to see His children free and able to enjoy life that He was willing to send His only Son to die in order to insure that freedom (See John 3:16). He purchased our freedom with the blood of His Son. The very least we can do is learn to see ourselves the way He sees us, which is precious and valuable. G.o.d would not let Jesus die for a bunch of junk, for people with no value and no purpose. And Jesus would not have given Himself to die on our behalf if we had been of no worth or value to G.o.d. After all, it was Jesus Who gave Himself on our behalf that He might redeem us (purchase our freedom) from all iniquity and purify for Himself a people [to be peculiarly His own, people who are] eager and enthusiastic about [living a life that is good and filled with] beneficial deeds. (t.i.tus 2:14) Are you moping around, depressed, discouraged, and despondent? Do you spend so much time thinking about all of your faults that you have lost your hope and enthusiasm about living a good life? If so, please make a change today. Choose a new att.i.tude toward yourself. Paul had to make that choice, I had to make it, and you must make it also if you want to glorify G.o.d with your life.

G.o.d is not honored by people who have a bad att.i.tude toward themselves.

G.o.d is not honored by people who have a bad att.i.tude toward themselves; in fact, as I said previously, it is downright insulting to Him. If you loved and valued a group of people so much that you were willing to suffer horribly and die for them so they could enjoy themselves and their lives, how would it make you feel if they refused your gift? I hope and pray you are beginning to see what I am trying to say.

Paul said that he pressed on to lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus had laid hold of him and made him His own (See Philippians 3:12). He was speaking of the quality of life Jesus wanted him to have. Paul knew that he did not deserve it, but for Jesus' sake he was determined to have it. Can we do any less?

SUPER SHEEP.

I am the Good Shepherd. The Good Shepherd risks and lays down His [own] life for the sheep. (John 10:11) Jesus referred to G.o.d's children as sheep, and for a good reason. Sheep are not known to be the most intelligent animals in the world. They need a shepherd. Without guidance and help, they will do things that can even be self-destructive: ”All we like sheep have gone astray, we have turned every one to his own way” (Isaiah 53:6).

Sheep are stubborn, which is another reason G.o.d uses the a.n.a.logy to describe us. We often choose to do things that will turn out badly for us unless G.o.d intervenes. Sheep actually have many faults, but they don't try to hide them. Their simple willingness to be what they are is one of their few strengths. We try to hide our faults, and the fact that we do becomes one of our biggest problems. G.o.d knows everything anyway, so why do we try to hide anything from Him? We try to be ”super sheep,” and there is no such thing. The words super and sheep don't even go together.

DON'T BE AFRAID OF THE LIGHT The light of G.o.d exposes things (See John 3:20 and 1 Corinthians 4:5). When the light is turned on in a room, we can see the dirt and the bugs that begin to scurry. G.o.d is Light (See 1 John 1:5). When He gets involved in our life, He begins to show us things we may prefer not to look at, things we have kept hidden, even from ourselves. We are frequently deceived, especially about ourselves. We prefer not to deal with our faults, nor do we delight in having them exposed. We may feel condemned about them, but at least we feel they are hidden. Anything hidden has power over us because we fear it may be found out. The best and most freeing thing we can do is face up to what G.o.d wants to expose and get beyond the fear of it.

For many years I hid the fact that I had been s.e.xually abused by my father. I saw it as a weakness and something to be ashamed of. I felt as if there was something wrong with me, that I was secondhand merchandise. Because I was afraid of anyone knowing about my past, it continued to have power over me. When the Holy Spirit began leading me to share the details of my abusive past, I would shake violently. I was terribly afraid of my past. What would people think? Would they reject me? Would they blame me or hate me? The devil had lied to me for at least twenty-five years about how people would view me if they knew about my past, so I worked hard at keeping it a secret.

I often told lies about my past and my parents. If someone asked me about my childhood, I avoided mentioning anything that might cause suspicion. But when it was finally brought out into the light, the exact opposite of what I thought would happen took place. People responded with compa.s.sion, not judgment. My testimony began helping others who were also locked in a prison of fear. The more I shared my past, the less power it had over me. G.o.d's light exposed Satan's lies, and the truth made me free.

Most of us want to hide anything we perceive as a weakness or imperfection, but I encourage you to expose everything to the open light of G.o.d's love. We have already seen that G.o.d chooses and uses people with flaws. Refusing to admit that we have them may disqualify us from being used by G.o.d. He wants truth, not deception.

He wants us to be truthful with ourselves, with Him, and with other people: Rather, let our lives lovingly express truth [in all things, speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly]. Enfolded in love, let us grow up in every way and in all things into Him Who is the Head, [even] Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One). (Ephesians 4:15) When we refuse to embrace and love truth, it will prevent spiritual growth. We are held in bondage by what we refuse to face and deal with. Some things are buried so deep that we don't consciously think about them, but like an infection they are eating away at our life: ”Who can discern his lapses and errors? Clear me from hidden [and unconscious] faults” (Psalm 19:12).

I walked away from my father's house when I was eighteen years old. I had planned to do so for many years. I knew when I graduated from high school and was able to get a job and be self-supporting that I would leave. It was the only way I knew to get away from the abuse I had endured for so long. I walked away from the problem thinking it was over, yet not realizing I still had the problem in my soul.

We are held in bondage by what we refuse to face and deal with.

I spent years hiding it, refusing to talk about it or even think about it, but that did not prevent me from having problems related to it. The infection was growing daily into something that was gradually taking over my life. The only way to stop it was to expose it. G.o.d knew that, and He graciously worked with me through His Holy Spirit to do so. He brought the right people, books, and other material into my hands to help me realize I was not alone in my pain. Thousands of people had experienced abuse at the hands of their parents and other relatives and friends.

The Bible teaches us to confess our faults to one another so that we may be healed and learn to love one another (See James 5:16). My father's abusing me was not a fault in me, but I saw it as one. It had to be dealt with. It had to be exposed in order for me to be an emotionally, mentally, spiritually healthy individual. Actually the stress of hiding the abuse was even affecting my physical health.

Many psychiatrists and psychologists become very successful by letting people talk to them about the things that bother them. They also give advice, but the main service they provide is a listening ear and patient privacy. Everyone needs someone to talk to, someone they feel they can be honest with, someone who won't tell their secrets. If you have trouble accepting yourself, pray and ask G.o.d to provide spiritually mature people to be your friends, people you can trust who will listen and understand, but who will also speak truth into your life. Don't just look for someone who will feel sorry for you; you need truth more than pity.

Everyone needs someone to talk to, someone they feel they can be honest with.

G.o.d provided that for me in my husband, but it sure made me angry for many long years. Dave would not come to my ”pity parties.” He was not mean to me, but he was truthful. I can remember him saying to me, ”Joyce, you want me to feel sorry for you, and I am not going to do that because it won't help you.” I was trapped in endless rounds of self-pity, and the last thing I needed was someone to feel sorry for me. I thought I wanted pity, but I thank G.o.d now that He gave me what I needed, not what I wanted.

Don't get angry at the people G.o.d provides to be truthful with you. They should speak the truth in love, but they should speak the truth (See Ephesians 4:15 KJV).

A NEW BEGINNING.

When people begin studying G.o.d's Word and learn how to live in the light and not be afraid of it, their lives change for the better. G.o.d knows everything, and He loves you and me anyway, so even if we never find anyone else, we can be totally open and honest with the Lord. He hates pretense, so just be honest. Ask Him to reveal to you anything you may be hiding from or afraid to facea”and then buckle your seat belt. You may be in for the ride of your life. It may be a b.u.mpy ride at times, and frightening at others. You may scream, ”Stop the ride and let me off; I can't take any more!” But one thing is for sure; it is a ride that will eventually take you where you want to go, which is to a life that you can enjoy, one that bears good fruit for G.o.d.

G.o.d has revealed so much to me about myself that I am amazed. We think we know ourselves, when in reality we are often hiding, not only from others, but especially from ourselves. G.o.d had to show me many things about myself that were very uncomfortable, things I rejected at first, thinking, ”I can't be that way.” He showed me I was hard to get along with, controlling, manipulative, fearful, insecure, and hard-hearted. I talked too much. I pretended to need n.o.body, when in reality I was very needy indeed. I acted as tough as a raging lion on the outside, but on the inside I was as weak as a newborn kitten. I blamed my past for everything I did wrong. I made excuses for bad behavior rather than taking responsibility for it. The list is too long to continue, but the good news is that I can now say, ”I used to be that way, and I have changed.”

As I always say, ”I am not where I need to be, but thank G.o.d I am not where I used to be. I am okay, and I am on my way!”

Don't be afraid of your weaknesses any longer. Don't allow them to make you hate yourself. Give them all to G.o.d, and He will surprise you by using them. Give Him all that you are and especially all that you are not. When you do surrender to G.o.d in this way, you will experience a release from those things that burden you. You will be able to live light and free.

Don't let your weaknesses and imperfections embarra.s.s you. You are a human being, so give yourself permission to be one. Love yourself in spite of everything you see wrong with yourself. We all have to deal with our little load of faults and imperfections. Yours may not be the same as someone else's, but believe me, they are no worse. You are going to have them anyway, so you may as well give yourself permission to be imperfect. Accept ita” you are not perfect, and never will be. So if you are ever going to approve of yourself, you will have to do it in your imperfect state.

Give Him all that you are and especially all that you are not.

ENTERING G.o.d'S REST CONCERNING YOUR FAULTS For we who have believed (adhered to and trusted in and relied on G.o.d) do enter that rest. (Hebrews 4:3) I remember when G.o.d told me to give myself permission to be weak. It was very hard for me because I truly despised weakness. I thought weak people got walked on. My mother had been weak. She let my dad abuse her verbally, emotionally, and physically. She let him abuse me s.e.xually. She was too weak to deal with it. She didn't know what to do and could not face the scandal. I never hated my mother, but I did grow to hate weakness.

I did not respect people whom I viewed as being weak. As a result, I could not accept weaknesses in myself. I tried to be tough in all situations. The problem was that I did have weaknesses like everyone else, and trying to conquer all of them was creating major stress in my life in addition to unG.o.dly self-hatred and self-rejection. I suffered greatly trying to overcome every flaw I saw in myself. Even when I did succeed at conquering one, I saw two more.

G.o.d had told me to give myself permission to have weaknesses. I knew I had heard from G.o.d, but it was a major step of faith. I was afraid that if I just accepted weaknesses as a part of life, they would multiply and take over. I had yet to learn that where we stop, G.o.d begins. When we cast our care upon Him, He takes our care and carries it for us (See 1 Peter 5:7). Instead of my weaknesses multiplying and taking over my life, G.o.d began to strengthen me in them. He began to flow through them. Oh, I knew my weaknesses were still in existence, but even that knowledge caused me to lean on Him constantly. My relations.h.i.+p with Him deepened. I was being honest, I was being dependent, and I needed Him without interruption.

When we cast our care upon Him, He takes our care and carries it for us.

G.o.d works in those who believe by making changes on an ongoing basis. In Philippians 1:6 we see He has begun a good work in us, and He intends to finish it and bring it to completion. The Amplified Bible translation of this verse says He will be perfecting His work in us right up until Christ returns. If this work is never going to be completely concluded until Jesus calls us home, then why torment ourselves all of our lives? G.o.d has given us permission to love ourselves as we are. We can enter His rest concerning what remains to be done in our personalities, character, and life. Believing allows us to enter G.o.d's rest.

ALL OF US HAVE A LIMP.

Jacob was a man who had many weaknesses, and yet he pressed on with G.o.d and was determined to be blessed by Him. G.o.d likes that kind of determination. He actually told Jacob he had contended with G.o.d and man, and He would be glorified in him (See Genesis 32:28). G.o.d can gain glory for Himself through those who will not let their personal weaknesses stop Him from flowing through them.

For G.o.d to do that through us, first we must come face to face with the fact that we have weaknesses, and then we must determine not to let them bother us. Our imperfections are not going to stop G.o.d unless we let them do so.

<script>