Part 11 (1/2)
[Ill.u.s.tration: ”I'M VERY GLAD TO SEE YOU, SHARKEY,” SAID THE LOBSTER.]
”I'm very glad to see you, Sharkey,” said the Lobster. ”It is exceedingly pleasant to one who is always joking to meet a Fish like you.”
”I pray excuse me, Lobster dear, If I should ask you why?
Pray come and whisper in my ear, What your words signify.”
”Certainly, my dear Shark,” replied the Lobster. ”It is always exceedingly pleasant for a droll person to tell his jokes to a creature with a mouth as large as yours, because your smile is necessarily a tremendous one. I never like to tell my jokes to people with small mouths, because their smiles are limited, while yours is as broad as the boundless ocean.”
”Thank you,” returned the Shark. ”That reminds me of a little song, and as I see you have a ba.s.s-drum in your pocket, I will sing it, if you will accompany me.”
Here Jimmieboy had the wonderful experience of seeing a Lobster take a ba.s.s-drum out of his pocket. I shall not attempt to describe how the lobster did it, because I know you are anxious to hear the Shark's song--as also was Jimmieboy--which went as follows:--that is, the words did; the tune I cannot here reproduce, but any reader desirous of hearing it can do so if he will purchase a ba.s.s-drum set in G-flat, and beat it forty times to the second as hard as he knows how.
”I find it most convenient to Possess a mouth like this, Why, twenty babes at one fell swoop I easily can kiss; And sixty pounds of apple pie, Plus ten of orange pulp, And forty thousand macaroons I swallow at a gulp.
”It's big enough for me without Appearing like a dunce To stand upon a platform and Say forty things at once.
So large it is I have to wear Of teeth a dozen sets, And I can sing all in a bunch Some twenty-nine duets.
”Once I was captured by some men, Who put me in a lake, Where sadly I did weep all day-- All night I kept awake: And when the morning came at last, So weary, sir, was I, I yawned and swallowed up that pond, Which left me high and dry.
”Then when my captors came to me, I opened both my jaws, And snapped each one of them right up Without a moment's pause; I swallowed every single man In all that country round, And as I had the lake inside, They every one were drowned.”
Here the Shark stopped, and Jimmieboy applauded.
”And what became of you?” asked the Lobster. ”Did you die then?”
”Well,” returned the Shark, with a puzzled expression on his face. ”The song stops there, and I don't know whether I died or not. I presume I did, unless I swallowed myself and got into the lake again in that way.
But, see here, Lobby, you haven't got off any jokes for the children yet.”
”No, but I'm ready,” returned Lobby. ”What's the difference between me and Christmas?”
”Perhaps I'm very stupid, Sometimes I'm rather slow-- But why you're unlike Christmas I'm sure I do not know,”
replied the Shark.
”Oh no, you aren't stupid,” said the Lobster. ”It would be far stupider of you to guess the answer when it is my turn to make the little ones laugh. The reason I am different from Christmas is just this--now don't lose this, children--with Christmas comes Santa Claus, and with me comes Lobster claws. Now let me give you another. What is it that's brown like a cent, is bigger than a cent, is worth less than a cent, yet costs a cent?”
”Perhaps I do not know enough To spell C-A-T, cat-- And yet I really must confess I cannot answer that,”
returned the Shark.
”I am very glad of that,” said the Lobster. ”I should have felt very badly if you could, because, you know, I want these children here to observe that while there are some things you can do that I can't do, there are also some things I can do that you can't do. Now the thing that is brown like a cent, is bigger than a cent, is worth less than a cent, yet costs a cent, is a cent's worth of mola.s.ses taffy--which the Terrapin will now pa.s.s around for sale, along with my photographs, for the benefit of my family.”
Then the Lobster bowed, the Shark and he locked fin and arm again, and amid the strains of music from the band marched out of the ring, and Jimmieboy looking up from the canvas for a moment saw that the Imp had returned.
VI
_THE CIRCUS CONTINUES_