Part 3 (2/2)

”You had him there,” laughed Bikey.

”I rather guess so,” smiled the landlord, ”and he knew it. Still I was easy with him. I didn't want to have people making complaints all the time, so I said that while the stone wall had come to stay, I'd pave the street for two hundred yards in front of it with cat teasers.”

”What?” cried Jimmieboy.

”Cat teasers,” said the landlord. ”Didn't you ever hear of cat teasers?

They're small square pieces of zinc with p.r.i.c.kers on 'em. City people generally put 'em on top of their back yard fences so that Patti cats”----

”Excuse me,” asked Bikey. ”What cats?”

”Patti cats and De Reszke cats--the kind that sing, you know,” explained the landlord. ”They put 'em on their back yard fences so that these operatic felines would not be able to sit down there and sing and keep them awake all night; but the scheme didn't work. I had an idea that the cat teasers would puncture the bicycle wheels in time to stop 'em, and they did, but they interfered with people on foot as well, and after these people got lockjaw from puncturing their feet on my pavement I took it up and suggested sprinkling the roadway twice a day with tacks.

This satisfied the Secretary, and a law was pa.s.sed compelling me to do it, and I do. How it works you have seen for yourselves.”

”That's true,” said Bikey, ruefully.

”Well, it saved me,” said Jimmieboy.

”But how are we ever to get home?” asked Bikey.

”Oh, as for that,” returned the landlord, ”gather yourselves together and come inside. I think I can fix you out very shortly, and it won't cost you more than $800.”

”Come on, Bikey,” said Jimmieboy, ”I'd sort of like to see the inside of this house, anyhow.”

”I haven't got any $800,” snapped Bikey.

”Oh, never mind about that,” laughed the landlord. ”I run a banking business here, too. I'll lend you all you want. Come in.”

And so they went into the ”Tyred Inn for the Tired Out,” and a most remarkable place they found it to be.

IV

_THE TYRED INN_

The entrance to the Tyred Inn and the parlors and rooms of that extraordinary place were quite like those of any other roadside hotel, but the method of conducting it and the singular things that were to be found in it made Jimmieboy's brief stay there an experience long to be remembered. The bicycle idea was carried out in everything. If you wanted a bell boy you had to ring a bicycle bell. In place of an elevator or staircase they had a spiral pathway running up from the centre of the hall to the roof, upon which guests could either walk or ride, an electric bicycle built for two being provided for those who did not care to walk up, the elevator boy sitting on the front seat and managing the apparatus.

From the parlor there came the most beautiful strains of music, as from a fine bra.s.s and string orchestra, all of which was managed by the merest bit of a midget sitting astride of a safety and working the pedals, which in turn worked the great musical instrument that occupied the whole of the lower end of the room. Upon the walls were all sorts of curious pictures, and for a decoration of the ceiling there were automatic frescoes presenting a constantly moving bicycle scene. For instance, instead of a series of groups of rosebuds and cupids, there were about a hundred little plaster wheelmen racing about the edge of the ceiling, and every once in a while one of these would take a header, flying immediately back to his saddle again, however, and continuing on his way until the clockwork by which the frescoes were run forced him to take the header all over again. On and around they raced incessantly, and so varied were the things that they did that it did not seem to Jimmieboy as if he could remember half of them in case he should ever want to tell his father or his brothers about it afterward.

”That's a fine ceiling, isn't it?” asked the landlord, with a grin, as Jimmieboy gazed overhead, his mouth wide open in wonderment.

”I should say so,” replied the boy, delightedly. ”I wish I could have a ceiling like that in my room.”

”Nonsense,” said Bikey. ”You'd soon get tired of it. It wouldn't take long for a ceiling like that to drive a man crazy.”

”That's so,” put in the landlord. ”But there are lots of things that would drive a man crazy that wouldn't drive a boy crazy--like trumpets and whistles. When it comes to things like that, boys are much stronger than men. I've known a boy of five to stand banging on a drum for seven hours, when his father couldn't stand it for seven minutes. n.o.body need go crazy over my bicycle ceiling though,” continued the landlord. ”I just press a b.u.t.ton and it's all over--see?”

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