Part 48 (2/2)
”But she didn't die of diathesis giving birth to the first of you,”
said Kate. ”You were all big, strong boys with a perfectly sound birthright. And your mother is now a much older, wearier woman than she was then, and her hands are far too full every day, as it is. If she knew how to handle the baby as I have, and was willing to add the work to her daily round, would you be willing to have her? I have three times her strength, while I consider that I've the first right.
Then there is the baby's side of the question. I have had her through the worst, hardest part of babyhood; she is accustomed to a fixed routine that you surely will concede agrees with her; she would miss me, and she would not thrive as she does with me, for her food and her hours would not be regular, while you, and your father, and the boys would tire her to death handling her. That is the start. The finish would be that she would grow up, if she survived, to take the place Polly took at your house, while you would marry some other girl, as you WILL before a year from now. I'm dreadfully sorry to say these things to you, Henry, but you know they are the truth. If you're going to try to take the baby, I'm going to fight you to the last dollar I can raise, and the last foot of land I own. That's all. Look at the baby; think it over; and let me know what you'll do as soon as you can. I'm not asking mercy at your hands, but I do feel that I have suffered about my share.”
”You needn't suffer any longer,” said Henry, drying his eyes. ”All you say is true; just as what I said was true; but I might as well tell you, and let one of us be happy. I saw my third lawyer yesterday, and he said the papers were unbreakable unless I could prove that the child was neglected, and not growing right, or not having proper care. Look at her! I might do some things! I did do a thing as mean as to persuade a girl to marry me without her mother's knowledge, and ruined her life thereby, but G.o.d knows I couldn't go on the witness stand and swear that that baby is not properly cared for! Mother's job is big enough; and while it doesn't seem possible now, very likely I shall marry again, as other men do; and in that event, Little Poll WOULD be happier with you. I give her up. I think I came this morning to say that I was defeated; and to tell you that I'd give up if I saw that you would fight. Keep the baby, and be as happy as you can. You shan't be worried any more about her. Polly shall have this thing as she desired and planned it. Good-bye.”
When he had gone Kate knelt on the floor, laid her head on the chair tray, and putting her arms around the baby she laughed and cried at the same time, while Miss Baby pulled her hair, patted her face, and plastered it with wet, uncertain kisses. Then Kate tied a little bonnet on the baby's head and taking her in her arms, she went to the field to tell Adam. It seemed to Kate that she could see responsibility slipping from his shoulders, could see him grow taller as he listened. The breath of relief he drew was long and deep.
”Fine!” he cried. ”Fine! I haven't told you HALF I knew. I've been worried until I couldn't sleep.”
Kate went back to the house so glad she did not realize she was touching earth at all. She fed the baby and laid her down for her morning nap, and then went out in the garden; but she was too restless to work. She walked bareheaded in the sun and was glad as she never before in her life had known how to be glad. The first thing Kate knew she was standing at the gate looking up at the noonday sky and from the depths of her heart she was crying aloud: ”Praise ye the Lord, Oh my soul. Let all that is within me praise His holy name!”
For the remainder of the day Kate was unblus.h.i.+ngly insane. She started to do a hundred things and abandoned all of them to go out and look up at the sky and to cry repeatedly: ”Praise the Lord!”
If she had been asked to explain why she did this, Kate could have answered, and would have answered: ”Because I FEEL like it!” She had been taught no religion as a child, she had practised no formal mode of wors.h.i.+p as a woman. She had been straight, honest, and virtuous. She had faced life and done with small question the work that she thought fell to her hand. She had accepted joy, sorrow, shame, all in the same stoic way. Always she had felt that there was a mighty force in the universe that could as well be called G.o.d as any other name; it mattered not about the name; it was a real force, and it was there.
That day Kate exulted. She carried the baby down to the brook in the afternoon and almost shouted; she sang until she could have been heard a mile. She kept straight on praising the Lord, because expression was imperative, and that was the form of expression that seemed to come naturally to her. Without giving a thought as to how, or why, she followed her impulses and praised the Lord. The happier she grew, the more clearly she saw how uneasy and frightened she had been.
When Nancy Ellen came, she took only one glance at Kate's glorified face and asked: ”What in this world has happened to you?”
Kate answered in all seriousness: ”My Lord has 'shut the lions'
mouths,' and they are not going to harm me.”
Nancy Ellen regarded her closely. ”I hope you aren't running a temperature,” she said. ”I'll take a shot at random. You have found out that the Peters family can't take Little Poll.”
Kate laughed joyously. ”Better than that, sister mine!” she cried. ”I have convinced Henry that he doesn't want her himself as much as he wants me to have her, and he can speedily convert his family. He will do nothing more! He will leave me in peace with her.”
”Thank G.o.d!” said Nancy Ellen.
”There you go, too!” cried Kate. ”That's the very first thought that came to me, only I said, 'Praise the Lord,' which is exactly the same thing; and Nancy Ellen, since Robert has been trying to praise the Lord for twenty years, and both of us do praise Him when our time comes, wouldn't it be a good idea to open up our heads and say so, not only to ourselves and to the Lord, but to the neighbours? I'm afraid she won't understand much of it, but I think I shall find the place and read to Little Poll about Abraham and Isaac to-night, and probably about Hagar and Ishmael to-morrow night, and it wouldn't surprise me a mite to hear myself saying 'Praise the Lord,' right out loud, any time, any place.
Let's gather a great big bouquet of our loveliest flowers, and go tell Mother and Polly about it.”
Without a word Nancy Ellen turned toward the garden. They gathered the flowers and getting in Nancy Ellen's car drove the short distance to the church where Nancy Ellen played with the baby in the shade of a big tree while Kate arranged her flowers. Then she sat down and they talked over their lives from childhood.
”Nancy Ellen, won't you stay to supper with us?” asked Kate.
”Yes,” said Nancy Ellen, rising, ”I haven't had such a good time in years. I'm as glad for you as I'd be if I had such a child a.s.sured me, myself.”
”You can't bring yourself--?” began Kate.
”Yes, I think so,” said Nancy Ellen. ”Getting things for Little Poll has broken me up so, I told Robert how I felt, and he's watching in his practice, and he's written several letters of inquiry to friends in Chicago. Any day now I may have my work cut out for me.”
”Praise the Lord again!” cried Kate. ”I see where you will be happier than you ever have been. Real life is just beginning for you.”
Then they went home and prepared a good supper and had such a fine time they were exalted in heart and spirit. When Nancy Ellen started home, Kate took the baby and climbed in the car with her, explaining that they would go a short way and walk back. She went only as far as the Peters gate; then she bravely walked up to the porch, where Mr. Peters and some of the boys sat, and said casually: ”I just thought I'd bring Little Poll up to get acquainted with her folks. Isn't she a dear?”
An hour later, as she walked back in the moonlight, Henry beside her carrying the baby, he said to her: ”This is a mighty big thing, and a kind thing for you to do, Mrs. Holt. Mother has been saying scandalous things about you.”
”I know,” said Kate. ”But never mind! She won't any more.”
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